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What's the best way to cope with your parents getting divorced and constantly arguing in front of you?

29 Answers
Last Updated: 03/16/2021 at 4:12am
1 Tip to Feel Better
United Kingdom
Moderated by

Tanyia Hughes, Adv Dip Psy


I have been through a lot in life too, which helps me to be able to empathize with situations, thoughts and feelings that we have. Sometimes, it's not easy just being human.

Top Rated Answers
June 11th, 2015 6:32am
If you are comfortable with it, you might ask both of your parents to please stop arguing in front of you. Alternatively, you could ask to work with a therapist, if you are interested in that option.
November 16th, 2015 5:39pm
Find a happy place. Somewhere in your mind that you are comfortable and safe. You can go to this place anytime you need. Find someone to talk to about your feelings so that you aren't bottling them up.
April 19th, 2016 2:29pm
The best way (I feel) is to rely on family and friends. I found that when I was dealing with my parent's divorce, even if my parents weren't sympathetic, my extended family and close friends were.
November 21st, 2014 2:26pm
sit them down and tell them how uncomfortable their making you feel and make them understand that it pressurizes you a lot and effects you
November 21st, 2014 2:52pm
Try to ignore it as best as possible, if they are fighting go in another room, take a walk, go outside, or blast your music. Ignoring the fighting is best. But if it is too much, talk to consoler :)
November 22nd, 2014 9:14am
I would find a safe place. Somewhere quiet where I can reflect on my emotions about my parents splitting and write about them.
November 22nd, 2014 9:19am
I think the best way is to just get out there and let them do what they want to, but you dont have to watch.I used to go to friends when this kind of stuff happened, because I just couldnt take seeing them like that.
November 23rd, 2014 8:40pm
Talk to BOTH of them. They are your parents. They will understand. You are their child. Explain how you are uncomfortable with all this fighting! sit them both down and have a good talk, as a FAMILY
December 4th, 2014 2:38am
The best way I found to cope with it was to talk to someone else who had been through the same thing.
December 18th, 2014 7:06pm
Talk to another trusted family member about the situation or talk to your parents about how it is making you feel.
December 28th, 2014 3:37am
You have to remind yourself that there problem are between them and not to do with you. Remember that they love you the same amount apart as they did together.
December 30th, 2014 6:58am
It's important to remember that your parents' divorce and arguing has nothing to do with you. They are simply two people who have enough trouble consoling their differences and are better off living separate lives.
May 7th, 2015 6:32am
Sit them down and tell them how you feel when they fight it will get them to understand they are not just hurting you but themselves.
May 31st, 2015 7:27pm
Turn on music so you dont have to hear them argue. and go outside for a walk, so you dont have to see them argue.
June 4th, 2015 7:13am
it's either you try to sort things out, which would less likely work, try to talk to them emotionally, which is pretty.... yeah... or just shut the world off with your hobby
July 7th, 2015 4:47pm
I went through that 2 years ago, and I felt like crying, but we just need to let everything out, it's not good keeping everything inside of you when your feeling down!
August 10th, 2015 3:15am
Talk to them about it. Let them know you aren't comfortable with how they handle the situation in front of you.
August 11th, 2015 1:16pm
The most important thing you have to do is to accept that their decision to get a divorce is not your responsibility; this means that you have not caused this to happen in any way, you have no duty to try and fix their relationship or change their minds about separation. Perhaps you could try making a list of pros and cons of the separation to calm your mind. Chances are that, however upsetting the situation may seem and feel right now, there are some positive outcomes that may surface from this situation, especially long-term (e.g. both parents may be happier individually, you will not have to observe them arguing any more, lessened tension within your family will result in stronger bond and more positive relationships). In addition, please understand that you do not have to be subjected to their arguing. The first step you can take is to make both of your parents (each of them individually, when the other one is not around) aware of the fact that you do not want to see (let alone be involved in) their arguments. If talking to your parents does not make a difference, always know that you have the right to walk away and excuse yourself from that situation.
March 15th, 2016 6:01am
Depending on age, I find that asking questions helps. They will be open about more than you think! Sometimes this can be comforting if there is some "self-blame" happening in the childrens perspective.
April 19th, 2016 12:30pm
well, i would suggest one thing but and i believe there are chances that the idea will work. When your parents fight and argue in front of you, gather courage and and tell them right at the moment that you do not like this at all when they fight in front of you, and you feel disturbed, Tell them that its not your problem if they are going through hard time. I know this needs courage but i am sure it will work. Because letting them know would make them think about you, that they are doing wrong.
September 26th, 2016 6:23am
The only thing we can do is we just make them realize that what their kid actually feel when they argue in such a way. If they ignore you then just write a letter to them and place it near their pillow. Really this would make them realize their fault.
November 28th, 2016 7:07am
You should have a talk with them and let them know you are there and don't appreciate it. I know that can be indimidating and difficult, but once your parents are aware that you are around and experience their feelings too, the situation could get better.
January 17th, 2017 11:22pm
Walk away from them, listen to music, paint, draw.. you can even talk to me I have gone through the same things and I understand how hard and complicated your situation may be. I would also suggest staying away from self-harm and thinking about it.
February 19th, 2018 3:04am
Put a physical distance between yourself and the stressful arguing whenever possible, leave the room and listen to music, meditate or go for a walk.
March 12th, 2018 11:57pm
Be open and honest with them, explain to them how this is effecting you. If they know they should begin to be more cautious around you and maybe keep their arguments to themselves and away from you
May 29th, 2018 4:46pm
Just ignore it the best u can. Better not to get involve or else things will get worse. But if u feel like its important for u to voice out ur opinion, talk to them slowly.
June 25th, 2018 6:41pm
My parents divorced when I was really young. I had no choice but to witness. However to better grasp the situation I tried my hardest to understand their conflict and attempted to talk to them about it.
August 6th, 2018 5:41am
Talk to them. Tell them how much it hurts to see them like this. If they refuse to listen, when they argue just go. Go outside, go to a friends house, go somehwere that you can't hear them.
March 16th, 2021 4:12am
I'm really sorry to hear that you’re finding it difficult to cope with your parents getting divorced and constantly arguing in front of you. I can only imagine the turmoil you are feeling inside. We can equally love both our parent's and feel that as this relationship breaks what could this mean for us. What emotional or social implications could their divorce have on us? It's natural to feel hurt and let down by parents choosing to separate from one another. Parents are our hero's/someone we look up to follow. When that image 'failed', we can feel rather lost and upset. It’s really easy to say find own role-model to follow/ discover your own dreams, be independent and let your passion guide you but please feel free to open up to one of our listeners on our site or online therapists who have personal experience or specialized experience with family stress. Also available on our site are self-help guides and mindfulness exercises. Take care and hope everything turns out fine for you!