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What's the best way to get over your parent's divorce and remarriage?

22 Answers
Last Updated: 06/18/2018 at 2:34am
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
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Victoria Cook, LCSW

Clinical Social Work/Therapist

I work to meet all clients where they are - working first to understand their needs and employing the tools needed to help them become their best, most empowered selves.

Top Rated Answers
HollSS
December 6th, 2014 7:52am
Divorce can be a really destructive thing, it can take a long time, and feels even longer. It can turn your whole world upside down, and remarriage can do just the same. Try to be as open with your parents and new step parent as you can be. It's important to have people around you to support you. Any change can leave us feeling lost, confused, angry and upset. It's completely natural to feel this way, the thing you need to concentrate on is managing and coping with these feelings. Learning to cope with this on a daily basis in a healthy way is the most important thing right now.
Anonymous
December 6th, 2014 8:25am
Be grateful for your parents' happiness. Their happiness doesn't have to mean your unhappiness. Find something you like about your step-parent. New families are never easy. They require emotional investment from everyone in order to work. Do your part to contribute to the happiness of all, and you will find it returned to you.
rayofhope11
December 6th, 2014 10:21pm
A parent's remarriage is never easy to deal with try and look at things from your parent’s perspective and understand that it is your parent’s life and their choice. It is also important I think to not view them as a replacement. Dont expect yourself to come around right away give yourself time. Compromise, see the good, show respect, learn to forgive and don't compare and ultimately extend a hand of friendship and try to not not feel jealous or guilty during this hard time.
Anonymous
December 23rd, 2014 12:55am
To remind that it's not your fault and that sometimes a couple are better parents if they aren't together. With the remarriage think of it as another support person. Hopefully this is another person that in your life that is caring and loving and there if you need them.
Anonymous
January 2nd, 2015 5:29pm
I personally think the best way to move forward with parents divorcing or remarrying is to put yourself in their shoes. The decision they are making is going to benefit them greatly and they want and need your love and support during that time.
SageBunny
January 2nd, 2015 9:44pm
Remember that your parents still love you no matter what, and that in many situations, people are much better apart than they are together. Find ways to spend time with them one-on-one with you, and make attempts to bond with your new stepfamily as well. You don't have to love and adore each other right off the bat, but everyone should try to respect each other. Good luck!
kindheartedSky78
April 2nd, 2015 8:50pm
This is an incredibly difficult question with no easy answers and by the words you have used "Get over", I am hearing that it is still causing you a great deal of distress
Anonymous
May 3rd, 2015 7:03pm
Well I don't think you should be sad I think you should be happy for them if they are happy and you should support them . the best way is to accept it and be happy
Anonymous
May 7th, 2015 2:47pm
The best way to get over parent's divorce and remarriage is to think everything in life happens for a reason and its the part and parcel of life
empathy2
June 22nd, 2015 1:40pm
Remember that your parents still love you no matter what, and that in many situations, people are much better apart than they are together. Find ways to spend time with them one-on-one with you, and make attempts to bond with your new stepfamily as well. You don't have to love and adore each other right off the bat, but everyone should try to respect each other. Good luck
PoliteOcean
July 28th, 2015 4:36am
Everybody is different. Not everybody is going to cope in the same way or manner. Somethings take longer than others to deal with. Some people take longer than other to cope with situations. If you feel that you are having problems getting over this situation or any situation, perhaps talking with both of your parents together and individually could ease your worry or feelings. Sometimes just having a friend or an adult you can trust is a good way to get your feelings out. If the feelings become too overwhelming, seeking counseling or therapy might be a good way to deal with those feelings. But the important thing is talking to your parents also.
TheColumn
September 1st, 2015 7:55am
Embrace their own individuality, as well as your own. You are never the reason for their breakup, nor should you be only reason that keeps them together. Everyone has right for their life, to live it and try to find happiness. Should they remarry, this doesn't change fact that they are your parents. Yes, they should have worked on their marriage, or they actually did. Yes they should bring more sense and love into it. Or they actually did? Yes, such things as love faded, affection gone and miserable companionship happen. One parent cheats or does something else wrong. Or they just don't feel it any more and part as friends. Whatever the reason, you are not it. But you still have two parents. And they love you. This is the fact that didn't change, when the whole world changed.
simran14
November 3rd, 2015 3:22pm
just relax and try thinking from their point of view once you understand their situation you would easily be able to sort out everything and get over it :)
cuddlyBreeze53
November 9th, 2015 4:51am
Focus on other things. Family may be important, but friends are important too. Spend more time with your friends.
Anonymous
January 4th, 2016 2:21am
The best way to get over a remarriage is to be understanding. You have to accept the fact that your parent will be loving someone who is not your other parent. You have to forgive your parent for moving on, and understand that they are a human being too, and that they are allowed to find love in a partner, and not just within you, their child.
Greatlistener87
March 21st, 2016 4:15am
The best way is to respect the decision that your parents have made, knowing that it was done for a reason. Accept where they are and where you are and learn to build your life based on where you are and move forward.
GiaAid
July 11th, 2016 3:19pm
Unfortunately, this happens to a lot of people and it's shame how relatable this topic is. The most important thing to remember is that none of this is your fault and you should never blame yourself for it. Far too many people blame themselves and ask themselves if they didn't something different it may of not happened. It is no ones fault and it is between your parents. You can't really get over it because it's something that will be there for the rest of your life. Your parents made a choice that made them happier and you should respect that and be happy for them no matter how much it hurts. If they have chosen to remarry and it may hurt but they have found someone who truly made them happy, it's important that people find happiness and you should be happy they are happy.
Anonymous
October 24th, 2016 3:40pm
Distracting yourself is one thing. But in the end, you just have to accept it and always remember that no matter what their decision will be, they always cared and thought of you first.
TemporarySituations
November 7th, 2016 5:52pm
Know that it isn't your fault! Dealing with divorce is very very hard and something that takes a HUGE toll on us, and something that commonly happens is we blame ourselves. It is not your fault.
sunshineVision16
December 19th, 2016 7:39pm
The best way is to try to put your self in their shoes, no one likes to be alone and if they found someone else try to be happy for they're happiness. Parents are always there for you and we should do the same for them.
koks13
December 12th, 2017 3:44pm
Living through parent's divorce can be very traumatizing and devastating for the children. it is a personal choice that the parents are making for their life. Unfortunately this personal choice does have an impact on the children. The best that children can do is learn to cope with their personal choices in the best possible way. It certainly helps if the children are old and mature enough to understand that the parents are trying their best to sort out the mess in their lives. The children will need to work on accepting the decisions that the parents have taken whether Divorce or Remarriage.
Anonymous
June 18th, 2018 2:34am
One very important thing to remember during this process is to know that this is in no way your fault! My parents are divorced and what has helped me is to talk to everyone in the process, your new step parents and siblings!