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What's the best way to talk to your parents about academic pressure?

18 Answers
Last Updated: 10/19/2021 at 8:36pm
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
Moderated by

Stacy Overton, PhD.


I am an enthusiastic life-long learner and also a professor of counseling. I have a passion for peoples stories and helping to guide and empower the human spirit.

Top Rated Answers
March 16th, 2015 8:22pm
Honestly, openly, and calmly. Pick a time when they are not distracted and when you can discuss the issues with rational and clearminded discourse.
April 6th, 2015 2:09pm
Sit them down and discuss with them calmly how it makes you feel. Try not to use phrases that might make them feel like it's their fault because then they may become angry which will only cause stress for all involved.
May 5th, 2015 12:51am
Just to sit with them. As you pass through this pressure, your parents have gone under pressure, and even a lot. They can understand and sometime relate to the stress caused by the academic life. Talking openly and as equal is a great way to communicate with people (including family) and to make your state and feelings clear to the other person so they can help you and understand you.
June 8th, 2015 6:36pm
You parents need to understand that putting you under too much pressure can actually negatively affect your performance. Having some freedom and responsibility is key to feeling comfortable with yourself academically, make sure they understand this!
August 11th, 2015 7:10pm
This is a hard one. But just being up front and honest always helps. It's hard to really get parents to listen. Sometimes, it's easier for them to listen to you after you go through it, which doesn't help the situation when it's happening. The key is to try to discuss it calmly, and not when you're blowing up.
August 18th, 2015 10:44pm
Try explaining it to them and telling them how you feel, they might know what it feels like to be pressured like that
September 1st, 2015 5:10pm
Just tell them. No matter what they say or think. Flat out tell them the truth. It can definitely be a lot of pressure, but it's still better to be flat out honest then not say anything at all to them.
December 1st, 2015 2:30pm
Try to understand your feeling and the cause of the pressure. Our parents are not perfect, they will never be able to understand you completely but you can help them, but in order to help them understand, you need to understand yourself first. Then, during the discussion, try to understand what they feel too. Understand their concerns, it does not mean you have to agree with them, but it helps you deal with it with clearer mind and come up with solution together. Seek first to understand then to be understood.
January 11th, 2016 8:54pm
Since not every home situation is exactly the same, this is a tough question to answer. It really depends on your parents and how they see education. Perhaps asking them how they feel about it can give you some idea before you talk to them about what you are going through.
June 7th, 2016 11:08pm
I think the first thing you need to figure out is why you're searching for an answer to this question. Are they approachable? Can you talk freely with them or are you worried about how they might react?
September 19th, 2016 11:48pm
Confront them on a mild and non-defensive tone. Tell them how you truly feel- no sugar-coating and no over or under exaggerating. Make sure they know that you are not blaming them, and that you are not accusing them of doing you wrong. They might feel guilty or hurt if you tell them that the work is too much and that "you're not helping it, either". Try and gather some raw and true talking points that will make it sound serious. I feel that's the best way to talk to your parents about academic pressure without them telling you that you're wrong!
September 26th, 2016 1:23am
You could talk to them about how you are relly enjoying school but about how you are feeling like you are under quite a bit of pressure to do well and talk to them about why and how they might be able to help
October 25th, 2016 7:09am
Know What You Want From the Conversation It takes maturity to figure out what you want to get out of a conversation. (Most adults aren't so good at this!) What you hope to achieve can vary. Most often you'll probably want the adults in your life to do one or more of these things: simply listen and understand what you're going through without offering advice or commentary give permission or support for something offer you advice or help guide you back on track if you're in trouble — in a way that's fair and without harsh criticism or put-downs Why think about this before you begin talking? So you can say why you want to talk in a way that communicates what you need. For example: "Mom, I need to tell you about a problem I'm having, but I need you to just listen, OK? Don't give me advice — I just want you to know what's bothering me." "Dad, I need to get your permission to go on a class trip next week. Can I tell you about it?" "Grandad, I need your advice about something. Can we talk?"
January 30th, 2017 9:44pm
Sometimes those things can be super hard, you don't know if you're making them proud with your grades or test scores and you want them to be proud with you, but sometimes those things are just the things you can do. The way best way to approach the situation is explain that you want to make them proud and want to make sure they notice you're doing the best you can, but at the same time let them know if something isn't working for you or you're having troubles and they should always be there for you.
May 8th, 2017 3:56am
I personally call my mom about any pressures i'm feeling in college. She knows me best and always gives the best answers and advice.
August 6th, 2018 9:48am
Sit them down, talk with respect, politeness, and simply let your anxiety out to them.
March 30th, 2020 12:26pm
Have an open, honest discussion. Before you go plowing in with your view & your reasoning, take the time to think about what you want to say. What points you want to get across. Perhaps even have a few bullet points written down to ensure you stay on point. If you can explain your point of view clearly & concisely, it'll help you steer the discussion - rather than risk the conversation becoming heated... They (your parents), may not realize the amount of pressure you feel, so taking the time to share your feelings & point of view could be beneficial for all.
October 19th, 2021 8:36pm
You should tell your parents how you feel and ask them to support you, maybe by giving examples of what you need. Also, you can emphasize what you think is lacking or what would you want to hear from them or your expectations. You should be able to express yourself freely and try to communicate openly and without pressure. Your parents would need to understand your position and be brave to commit to your ideas, by making them understand where you are coming from, with a nice and calm conversation. Try to make them put themselves in your shoes and listen to you more.