When do i get to stop making everyone else happy?
262 Answers
Last Updated: 04/13/2022 at 10:09am
Moderated by
Jessica McDaniel, LPC, LCPC
Licensed Professional Counselor
I have been practicing cognitive behavioral psychotherapy since 2007 with a diverse group of adult clients with various diagnoses, all races, and socioeconomic classes.
Top Rated Answers
When you make the decision that you come first and foremost. It can be tempting to want to please everyone because when everyone is happy It's easier on you, but that isn't always true. It's actually more detrimental because you sacrifice your happiness for others. How can you take care of someone else if you're not okay? You need someone to be there for you too. You need you. Its easier said than done but maybe you could try doing at least one thing that makes you happy everyday?
You can't be of help to anyone if you don't take care of yourself first. It's okay to be selfish and focus on your needs, especially if pleasing everyone else is at the risk of your own happiness.
Anonymous
August 10th, 2017 3:23pm
Acting in a manner that spreads positivity to others is a choice that can simultaneously provide an inner happiness for yourself. However limiting yourself in order to make others happy can have a negative impact within your own life so finding a balance is key
Anonymous
August 10th, 2017 6:57pm
You are NEVER responsible for someone else's happiness. If they tell you that they feel better when you wear makeup, then that's their opinion. If it hurts you to put on makeup don't do it. Their happiness doesn't depend on you and you are not required to make them happy over your happiness
Anonymous
August 11th, 2017 2:31am
When you are happy with yourself and with what you do then you stop making everyone else happy. Focus on your happiness first then others. You are what matters.
I've seen this question a lot and the simple answer is: you were never required to make anyone happy other than yourself. You are the only person who will help you in the end, and you're your biggest fan. All that matters is that you're making yourself happy.
But, do take caution: if you're hurting the others around you, try doing something else to make yourself happy. Safety is meant for everyone, and that's one thing you shouldn't risk for your own happiness. Sounds totally contradicting from what I just said, right?
Happiness and safety go hand in hand, and one does not come without the other 90% of the time. So please, keep yourself and others safe.
Anonymous
August 20th, 2017 4:28pm
Of course, helping others is admirable. It's a beautiful thing to see humans caring for one another and putting the needs of others before their own. It's a testament to brotherhood and to mankind. But what happens when your selflessness becomes an innate characteristic of yourself? There will come a point in your life (and hopefully, that point is right now) when it's imperative that you learn how to stick up for yourself and learn that to be selfish for the well-being of the self is, in fact, acceptable. As you become more of an adult with more to lose and less time to spend on this Earth, you must become stronger and more confident in expressing how you feel.
There will be a point in time you realize you can't make everyone happy - it's better to hear it now, even tho, experience will eventually bring you to a point of learning on how to put your happiness before everyone else's all the time, and avoid fulfilling each request they may have. Perhaps, it will happen by reaching a point in which you NEED to take some time for yourself and recover. You can't control how others react - it's their problem. Feel at ease with yourself and rest easy!
Making people happy can bring yourself much happiness, however it is time to stop making EVERYONE else happy if doing so is making yourself unhappy. There are times when you have to make yourself the priority. Do things that you want to, do things that is meaningful to you, do things that adds value to your life. If pleasing everyone else is stopping you from achieving your own happiness, it is probably time for you to stop doing that, reflect and find out what can make you happy again.
When you realize that your well-being is more important than pleasing others. By placing others' needs above yours might indicate that you care deeply about how others view you.
when you realise that your happiness is important too. and you cant please everyone. you sometimes have to do whats right for you.
After having a very difficult time with my partner, a friend told me: it is time for you to be selfish. Sometimes we think being selfish is bad, but if you don't love yourself in a balance way, you won't be able to help others, even if you think you're doing so. Don't be afraid to say no.
Anonymous
December 1st, 2017 2:45am
When you realize that you are the most important thing to you. You live to serve yourself and in the process of serving others, you abandon who you are. Don't get lost in other people's happiness.
Anonymous
December 6th, 2017 12:22am
You dont ever have to be strong for others. You dont have to make everyone else happy. As long as you don't put others down, you shouldn't have to make everyone else happy.
Focus on yourself first before focusing on others. Giving too much into making other people feel good when you don’t feel good will make you distressed and even more sad. However, if you’re happy, the people around you that care about will automatically be happy because of the positive energy you emit.
Anonymous
December 14th, 2017 10:14pm
You at any moment can take a step back, and take care of yourself. One person is not capable of making everybody happy, and it is never up to a single person to make another happy. Take care of yourself, take a step back, and focus on your boundaries.
When you come to the realization that you deserve just as much happiness as they do, you spend your time trying your best to make them happy, learn when it's your turn to be happy.
Anonymous
December 30th, 2017 6:16pm
When you realize that you couldn't make everyone happy in the first place, and that you also deserve the happiness you wanted to give.
Anonymous
January 3rd, 2018 1:31pm
When you realise that you will never make everyone happy or like you. Always be respectful to everyone, but don't put yourself out there for people who don't appreciate you. When you realise that, you will stop.
Anonymous
January 5th, 2018 8:33am
Making people happy is not a bad thing but when it interferes with your happiness then you should stop and think for a moment.
Any time at all!! It does take a little courage to stand up and do what you want for yourself, but the opportunity is always there. Of course, sometimes being a little selfless doesn't hurt, but you should always be able to do what will make you happy.
Its good to make others happy but not if it is making you unhappy. I would hope you enjoy making others happy but you must not be destructive to yourself. Sometimes you need to put yourself first.
Anonymous
January 11th, 2018 1:06pm
You stop when you decide to stop. If you feel that you need to focus on yourself, and you need to make yourself happy, you need to decide to make yourself a priority- instead of others.
Anonymous
January 15th, 2018 4:26pm
When you spent more time being kind to yourself and doing the thing you love to do. :-)
Anonymous
January 19th, 2018 1:14am
You can stop anytime, but making others feel happy can make you happy and grateful in general but the choice and decisions yours.
Anonymous
January 29th, 2018 3:48pm
Making others happy is a choice, and a good one too. It gives your purpose I guess you could say. But, sometimes you need to stop and care for yourself as well. You have to love and respect yourself as much as you do for other people, so you don't have to continue making others happy if you want to stop and care for yourself for a little bit.
When you start deciding that you are the most important thing for your life. That does not mean to be selfish. But to make sure that you are well and you are happy and that this comes first.
Once you start trying to make yourself happy. Focusing on yourself does not mean you are being selfish or ignorant. It is important to find the balance. Remember you can only help others if you have already helped yourself. How to find the balance? If you are to make a choice, observe how you feel in the area of your chest. If you feel free and calm, you can make a compromise. If you, however, feel heavier or as if the free space is shrinking, then it is not a good time to compromise with your own wants and wishes. Always respect yourself by first checking how you are feeling and once resourceful enough, you can share the love and care with the others. Love yourself first, so you can collect energy to give others too.
You've probably grown up being told that Everyone Else Comes First, right? Well, it's not true at all. Everyone (including you) has needs and wants, and needs are more important than wants. So if you need something and someone else wants something, take care of you first. That's self-care.
The day you realize you matter too! It's wonderful to go out of your way to assist others, life can be difficult for many people. But make sure you take time for self care.
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