Why am I not perfect enough for my family?
Last Updated: 04/11/2017 at 1:21am
Cynthia Stocker, LCSW,
Clinical Social Work/Therapist
My approach is direct, kind, honest & collaborative. My clients appreciate that I help them in a way that cuts through the jargon and gives clear explanations.
Top Rated Answers
Maybe they want you to be a better person.....better than them and their experiences even..They know your potential and probably believe that you haven't used all your potential.. (does that make sense?)
Nobody's perfect no matter what people would like for you to believe. I've tried having a conversation with my family and even family members that I don't live with and it's like no matter what I say or do I will never be good enough for them and that's when I learned that if God accepts me then that's all that matters and that I will never be able to please them. Just live for you. Don't worry about what they think of you, only God can judge you and he love you more than you will ever know and knows that you're good enough.
There is nothing wrong with you. Families are often dysfunctional. You don't deserve to be mistreated.
I am not perfect enough for my family because perfection is a moving target. Nobody and no family is perfect, and even if for a fleeting moment they were, the next tick of the clock what we see as perfect changes.
It is sad when families expect you to be perfect but do not be discouraged by it. It is not a question of “Why am I not perfect enough?” but rather “What can I do to understand my family and their reason for wanting me to be perfect?” It takes a different perspective to understand perfectionism. When families expect you to be perfect, there may be a deeper story behind it that caused them to want you to be perfect. It can be due to a painful past where your family had to strive to be the best in order to be recognized. You may not understand the story behind their reason but do not let that discourage you or put a big pressure in your life. Sometimes the intention is good but when it is not done in a loving way; no matter how good the intention is, it will just be seen as bad. So all I wanted to say is to understand and love them nevertheless. It is difficult to love when the feeling is not there but love can be exercised and a more mature love will grow in you when you choose to love them even when they are unlovable.
That's their own opinion, it has nothing to do with the fact you are perfect and no reflection on reality. It's only an opinion. Maybe they are jelous of something about you, or maybe they just are blind.
You are perfect enough. Do not put that much pressure on yourself. You are amazing the way you are and your family loves you so much more than you know.
everyone is perfect in their own unique way. you may feel as though you arent perfect enough for your own family, but there is surely something about yourself which makes your family so proud.
People tend to have unrealistic expectations of the ones they love, maybe this is the deal with your family. Just know that you can't control other people's expectations and recognize your strengths rather than your weaknesses.
I wanted to ask the same question .. I am never good or perfect enough for my family. No matter what I do or how hard I try, they just never see it. Sometimes I am even tired of trying or proving to them that I am good enough, I am who I am, that I will never live up to their expectation. Can't they just accept me as ME for once??
Our parents are hard on us because they want us to be successful people, you're perfect enough, ok ?
This questions makes me so upset.... Okay, I wasn't perfect enough for my family either; BUT THAT IS OKAY! We are only human, we aren't meant to be perfect. You are an amazing individual and you shouldn't feel this way. My guess is that your family wants you to be great at every aspect, but their hopes are too much pressure for you. Don't listen to them, you're perfect just the way you are.
Sometimes parents or family members get a warped sense of perfection and there expectations for you can be hard to reach, but often times they just expect perfections (well perfection in their eyes) because they believe you are perfect or can be perfect.
Family members will always judge their own more harshly than others, and since perfection is based on whoever that's judging, you will always feel that you're not perfect enough. But you are a wonderful and beautiful human being, do not let anyone, even your close ones, take that away from you.
Everyone is different and sometimes you need to have an objective look at yourself. Am I doing something wrong? Am I behaving in any way that is harmful for myself or anyone? Am I being displeasing on purpose? If all the answers are "no" then, you should take into account that yout family might not be on board with the way you are living your life. Take their considerations into account but please remember that your happiness should come first sometimes.
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