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Why are my parents putting so much pressure on me?

27 Answers
Last Updated: 07/21/2020 at 10:38pm
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
Moderated by

Christie Belle, Master of Arts in Marriage and Family Therapy


I am a U.S. Air Force veteran and a ex-Army spouse. I am a divorced mother of two teenage boys, my youngest son has a diagnosis of autism, which I am very passionate about.

Top Rated Answers
January 24th, 2015 5:25am
Parents want to see their children do well in life. They strive to impart lessons and address shortcomings that they may have experienced in their own lives in hopes that we will succeed and prosper. At the same time, parents aren't perfect. Their intentions can feel smothering and have negative effects on our lives. Grades and material success (a well-paying job, etc.) often seem like they take precedence over our own physical, mental, and spiritual well-being.
April 4th, 2015 1:29pm
Your parents want you to be successful in life. They are your parents they don't want anything bad for you. If you think the pressure I'd putting a negative impact on you, just openly communicate with them :). I'm sure they will understand you :)
August 10th, 2015 12:43am
There can be many reasons why they are doing so: 1) They are probably are looking out for you, to make sure you do and achieve the best that you can, this is normally the case, especially with my parents haha. 2) It may be a very important time for you. Sometimes parents feel its necessary if its an extremely important part of life, to make sure you try your hardest. 3) they may never have tried hard and lost out on opportunities. many parents do this because they know the consequences or are trying to make sure the same doesn't happen to you, again looking out for you. 4) or they could de doing so because they are having a lot of stress at work or at home: this can cause them to make you feel pressured I would think about maybe asking them you can't cope with the stress or ask them why and that you feel its making you miserable, they may answer and tell you the actual answer :) I hope this helped a lot! Have a good week! Good luck x
January 25th, 2015 3:00pm
Grades mean uni, uni means jobs, jobs mean money, money means stability, stability means family, family means a lot, to our parents.
April 19th, 2015 12:02am
Some people think that parents put pressure on there kids to do good in school so they can get a job
October 4th, 2016 10:32am
Because they want the best for you. 10 -20 years down the lane,when you're a parent yourself,is perhaps when you'll understand everything better....
August 8th, 2017 12:10am
They may not know the pressure they are putting on you. And if they are aware then they just want what's best for you. They don't wanna see you go down the wrong path. Try telling them what's on your mind and how they are making you feel. Make sure to let them know you're only one person that can do so much.
June 11th, 2015 10:58pm
parents only want the best for you, sometimes they can be really over baring and it might not seem that way but they wont be like that forever (hopefully) haha
February 12th, 2019 3:12am
Your parents are most likely putting pressure on you because they want you to succeed. Most of the time it’s because they didn’t have the opportunities to do so. There are other reasons as to why your parents put pressure on you but rarely is it because they don’t like you. If you ever find that the pressure put on you by your parents is too much, you might need to talk to them and tell them what’s going through your mind. I know that this is a difficult position to be in, but it does get better. I promise
April 4th, 2015 2:04am
Well, its because they want you to move forward in life. They want you to be in a good position. Too much pressure may affect the child negatively, which all parents are aware of. But its difficult for them to determine when it exceeds this limit. If its too much for you, let your parents know it. What most parents want is their child to become someone important in life. To make this happen, parents may pressure you a bit.
April 8th, 2015 2:03am
People believe you can be doing so much better. They have high expectations because they believe in you.
September 7th, 2015 10:22am
Your parents put pressure on you because they believe that you can achieve the goals that you are working to achieve.
May 23rd, 2016 8:44pm
Maybe because they want you to be the best, and they want you to be better in life then they are....
March 21st, 2017 5:15am
Parents often place a lot of pressure on their children as they love their children and want to see them succeed in life and anything they do.
August 3rd, 2015 12:56pm
Parents are always wishing the best to their kids , some times parents are not well trained on how to deal with their kids or how to deliver the message specially if there are big age difference. Yet be sure that all what they do is mostly out of love & care .. they always want you better person and so they are trying to help you to be .
January 11th, 2016 2:14am
As a parent, I wanted to speak to this. There's that age-old thought that a person's parents want their children to succeed past their own capabilities. This is true. But this isn't the reason. I pressure my child because I know what she is capable of. I've watched her process information and overcome obstacles since her birth. I know when she is being lazy or when she is lying. I know how her brain works, and the ways in which she fails to commit. I understand that she lacks conviction in the areas in which she finds boring. Parents push to assist their children to find their limits. At some point, you will have to fight yourself to become the best version of you possible. Your parents are the ones helping you do that right now. They know the ways in which you are amazing and want the best, happiest life for you. They push you because they love you.
March 21st, 2016 5:19am
When family members love and care for you, they always want their child to do their best. Raising a child is hard work, and it's even harder to make sure that your child succeeds and is happy in life. Therefore, what we might think is pressure is actually a strong desire for your child to succeed. Speak to your parents about this pressure, let them know how you're feeling and what you'd like to change. Let them know the positives about yourself and how you are on track.
December 30th, 2019 8:39pm
Your parents are putting a lot of pressure on you, because they want you to not only succeed, but do good in life. Your parents don't want to see you suffer. Your parents love you regardless, but the reason they push you to your limits is because they want you to be eased in your life. Trust me, they are doing this for the best. Even I didn't understand, and it still happens. You will understand when your a parent yourself. Just know that they don't want you to be pushed around in life, but for you to be happy.
May 6th, 2015 4:54am
they care for you.they want you to b successful in every aspect of life ,even the ones in which they failed.the have the most pure ,n positive wishes n emotions for u anybody wud ever think of , for u.
May 28th, 2015 1:31pm
I think most parents just want their child to succeed. My father puts pressure on me because he knows I can do good, and I think your parents want you to do the same.
September 1st, 2015 1:52am
A parents job is to push you to succeed and prepare you for life. When they put pressure on you, they are just showing you that they know you are capable of greatness. It can be stressful if applied incorrectly, but I am sure that they just want you to be the best "you" that you can be.
December 21st, 2015 11:53pm
you're parents most likely just know that you can do great, and they want good things for you. but sometimes they might not realize the pressure can be more hindering than helpful.
December 26th, 2015 1:19pm
Well, they want you to have a bright future and be successful, parents are in this world to help us, lead us to the right path and encourage us so they do that to make us successful and without them we would be nothing so the pressure that they put on you is a good thing and it is better than being nothing. You also have to be thankful because some parents never care about their kids even if they are so successful. The pressure they put on you is the way to make them feel proud of you:)
August 29th, 2016 9:15pm
Your parents are probably putting pressure on you because they believe that you can do it. No matter what it is they probably believe that you can do a lot, so they want you to succeed.
November 7th, 2016 2:04am
They want you to be happy and to succeed in life. Your parents only want what's best for you even though it may feel not like that
August 19th, 2019 8:49pm
Sometimes, a parent wants to push a child into a direction that the parent thinks is best for the child. Parents want the best for their children. They want them to be successful, maybe more successful than they are. To be successful they want their children to study hard, be good at school, spend time with the people they think influence them in the best way. That can be tough sometimes. My Parents used to push me into directions i didn't want to go and it can be frustrating and tough to deal with. As I'm a grownup right now, i don't think it was good or bad what they did. I understand they wanted the best for me, to be successful. I think the tough journey was worth the experience i gained from it even though i didn't go the path they wanted me to. They are not mad at me at all, they are glad i found what suits me best. I took it as a challenge that formed me.
July 21st, 2020 10:38pm
A lot of the time, the reasons parents put pressure on you is because they care for you and want what is best for you (cliché, but true). However, parents aren't always the best at delivering their full thoughts and feelings to you because they've never had someone do the same for them. And taking things in consideration from their end, parents always want to their children to do better than they have in life and those feelings can really charge their emotions and make them act strictly. The best way to avoid feeling that pressure from them is through action. Show them that you can make it on your own and show them that you have what it takes to excel and succeed.