Why can I not focus on myself and move away from my family's expectations?
Last Updated: 11/21/2017 at 12:27am
Jackie Dross, M.S. Community Counseling
I have a passion for working with people from a non-judgmental, strengths based approach to meet their goals for personal growth.
Top Rated Answers
Sometimes, it can be difficult to separate yourself from your family. Your family is naturally a huge part of who you are, and this often makes it difficult to see yourself without taking the expectations of your family into account. By moving slowly, and taking the time to mindfully consider your own wants and needs, you will learn what the best things for you truly are, and come to accept yourself more fully.
They are your family but they are not your owner. They always want good things for you but this is your life bad experience and good experince all are yours. Don't forget that
Because your family is a big part of who you are, and you most likely feel like you have to follow their plans for you, but that isn't true, you and only you, know whats best for you.
This can be a hard thing to do. But you sometimes have to make a choice and decide what is best for you.
You can. However family expectations, pressure and traditions can be very rigid and widespread. Sometimes they only exist in our own minds. The questions isn't really why you can't, but how you will.
That question shows some good insight already! Some people don't realize they are living in their family's expectations and they have not yet decided which of those values are important to them on a personal level.
It's tough to separate what your family wants from what you want. Often, parents feel they know what is best because they have watched you grow up, have experienced the world longer than you have and most importantly, love you unconditionally. They are likely coming from a place of trying to set you up for what they view as a successful life. Unfortunately, our view of success and happiness, isn't always the same as our parent's view. In my experience, sitting down and asking my parents where they are coming from and why they want certain things for me has helped immensely. Being able to understand their perspective, opened my eyes to why they felt I should follow a certain path and also enabled me to better understand what I want from my life and then be able to relay that to them.
If you're used to have pression from your family, then it would be a little bit hard to make your own expectations. You have to let that stage in the past and create a new one where you build your future, but always bear in mind that your family is there to support you.
Can you tell me more of what is it that your family expect from you? Does the thing that they expect from you is what you thrive to conquer? Make sure that you are living life to not please others. But to make yourself proud of your own sincere accomplishments.
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