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Why can't I please my parents?

14 Answers
Last Updated: 07/27/2020 at 5:14pm
1 Tip to Feel Better
Italy
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Anna Pavia, psicologa psychologist counselor

Licensed Professional Counselor

I feel my work as my personal mission and I love it. My work with clients is nonjudgmental, supportive. I am a very good listener. I use several approaches. Amo il mio lavoro.

Top Rated Answers
KevinL43
February 17th, 2015 6:56pm
They may just have high expectations. If you try your hardest to please them, they'll see that you care about what they expect of you, and they'll respect that.
DipityEnigma
July 14th, 2015 10:42pm
Parents are hard to please often, mainly because they expect so much of you, often extremely unrealistic. However, this does not mean that they aren't proud of you. Sometimes, parents hide their emotions but will show it in little ways like giving you a present, money, doing something nice for you etc. Some people find it helps to tell their parents how they feel about the way that they act towards them so that their parents have a better understanding of the way that they react towards their parents and it sometimes helps them to realise what their actions are doing. I hope this information helps.
warmSunshine98
August 10th, 2015 4:36pm
Some times it's hard to please parents because they have a set of values and beliefs that are not shared. They want to make their dreams there children dreams because they could not live up to theirs.
potatosalad101
November 13th, 2018 5:15pm
I believe this happens in most cases because 1) Our parents, like us, are also imperfect individuals and 2) because they're constantly thinking about what's right for their children. While they do love us unconditionally, they also tend to expect us to thrive in the kind of environment they've imagined or hoped we would thrive in. They like to see us doing things or achieving things they hoped we would. And at often times, this is what leads us to thinking we are unable to please them no matter what we do. To sum it up, we can't please our parents not because we're not enough, but because sometimes, they expect a little too much from us. But then again, what I just stated is not relevant in every situation.
PatientEar
April 28th, 2015 3:08am
Figure out what you want from life and then let the know. Come up with a plan to achieve it and they will believe it.
Stevenjttt
June 2nd, 2015 4:39am
Because they know you and know that you can be the best person in this world they will always want you being a big person is a exhausting way to live but they will always expect best to you.
Anonymous
September 7th, 2015 2:09pm
hi, I am one of the listeners. In what sense you can't please your parent? and why do you think you don't please them?
Yourrecovery
November 30th, 2015 4:54pm
Parents are very hard to please. There always asking more of you, but I want you to know that they love and care for you! And they just want you to do your best!
NyxCain
November 30th, 2015 11:12pm
Parents generally view their children as an extension of themselves, and therefore put the sometimes perfectionist beliefs they have of themselves on others. It's not anything you are doing, but rather what they are thinking and feeling.
KatieWhite
April 19th, 2016 6:07pm
I don't know if this fits into your problem but from my experience some parents have an idea of their children from the child's birth. They make expectations that their children can't or don't feel like they should follow. Maybe your parents have similar expectations and they're trying to fit you into a mold that you don't fit in.
IamDarren
July 18th, 2016 11:57am
It's literally impossible to please everyone all the time, your parents included. They are of a different generation and so have different values, perspectives, expectations and dreams. All parents do the best job they can
AnxietyTherapist4You
August 1st, 2016 3:59pm
Parental expectations often conflict with our own desires. This may be because our interests and strengths do not match what our parents' expectations, or possibly what their "vision" of who they wanted you to be aligns with our own. The best course of action is to keep an open dialogue
CookieListens
March 30th, 2020 12:59pm
A lot of our parents in this generation has grown up with completely different values and mindsets. It's not that long back, that it was legal to hit your children. That mindset is something that is crucial to our thinking nowadays, that someone would be able to hit their children. That is just an example of many, of how different a lot of parents have grown up, in terms of their children. A lot of our parents had different views and goals than we had, not only for themselves but also for us, the newer generation. That is why I believe it's hard for some to be able to live up to the standards that their parents have or had. But everything begins with a good dialogue. Sit down with your parents on a good evening, and talk to them. Pour out your perspectives on life. See if that could change anything. I'll just say that it certainly did for me.
Anonymous
July 27th, 2020 5:14pm
In the end, all our parents want is for us to be successful. However, sometimes these good intentions can be muddled and taken to the extreme when they begin comparing us to others or setting their approval on unrealistic and uncertain goals/outcomes. I am sure that you do care about your parents very much and take their opinions into high regard, but remember that as you grow older, it's important that you make yourself happy. Set goals for yourself that you want to attain. Remember that in life and in the end, we cannot please everybody; it's an unfortunate truth. However, what is important is that we find our own fulfillment and success in whatever we do.