Why do I always feel so confused about my position in my family?
Last Updated: 04/14/2020 at 5:48am
Monique Bivins, MA, LPC
Licensed Professional Counselor
I have a real passion for helping my clients to overcome life's obstacles . My work with clients is nonjudgmental, supportive, and interactive.
Top Rated Answers
Family is something you can't choose from the time of birth. They've met you coincidentally. Heart relation is more powerful than blood relation. You had no choice when you were born but you have choice to make friend or friends of your wish.
My position in my family has always seemed out of the ordinary. I grew up with a single mom who got married and then had another child when I was 14. I was not happy about my little brother, and often felt like a "live-in" babysitter. I thought that my life before my mom's husband was significantly better and that these two new people in our life were just "messing things up". Now that I am in college and have had time away from them, I can see that they stopped treating me like a child when I still needed support from them as parents. I wasn't getting what I saw my peers in high school were getting, and the same goes for college. I have accepted that my relationship with my parents is not "the ordinary", but it has provided an easier transition into young adulthood. My hope for my future is that if I have children, I am able to provide the support they need, regardless of age.
As someone who comes from a large family, I understand that it can be hard to differ where you stand in your family. Talk to them about it if you feel that it's something that really bothers you. I guess it's part of looking for who you are as a person. It happens.
It might be because you are thinking things in a complex way. life is much simple than you think. You gotta be positive rather than negative.
If you are having family issues and how you feel, perhaps it might be best to speak with your family to help with your feelings.
What's going on? Are you unhappy? Have you tried to talk to your family about how you are feeling? Do you feel like talking with me about how you are feeling?
Families establish verbally or nonverbally roles for each family member. If they are unclear nonverbally then you can't understand your position.
Family's are not made to be straight forward. Everybody has a family. They might be a mum, dad, little brother, cousin etc. That being said those phrases are just titles and frankly have no meaning. Feeling confused about where you stand in your family is a certainty, feeling as if you don't belong in your family is also a thing that is positive to happen. Everyone belongs to something, the chess club, the soccer team and most certainly to a family. Your position in your family is just yourself, all you have to do is be yourself and that's your position
A good idea would be to know what is the position you want to see yourself in. Lack of clarity from your side could lead to confusion in your understanding of how people see you in family.
I have five siblings and I am the fifth of the six born. My upbringing was quite difficult. We lived in a dysfunctional nuclear family environment. My father was alcoholic my mom was sick with cancer. I never felt part of the family because my older siblings just used me and my baby brother as pons in thier life for entertainment. We were basically slaves we had to do what we were told of we got beat u. I thought that this was normal that every family did this but I was wrong. So was I confused with the position of my family yes I was I mean I didn’t know what family was what it was like to be apart of something
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