Why do I always feel the need to help my family members when they are having problems but I am unable to help myself?

They are your family, it is natural that you feel the need to help them whenever you can. Why do you feel unable to help yourself, may I ask?

In my own opinion, i tend to help my family members out more then myself is cause they all look up to me. I've done so much with my life in so little time and accomplished more then my parents or older relatives ever had, plus I feel very strongly for family that's just the way my heart is.. And as for my brothers and sister. It's cause that's my role as the older brother. I have to take care of them," I am my siblings keeper".

It's very common that the people who need help the most are the ones most willing to offer help. Why? They understand.

You are a kind person with an exceptional amount of empathy I am assuming. You might tend to put others before yourself. That is not good in the long run. There is a reason when you get on an airplane, you are told to "put on your own oxygen mask before helping others." You need to think things through before blindly jumping to help someone. You need to make sure you are under shelter before you offer someone your umbrella. Think about yourself so you can help others, if that's what you like to do. I struggle from the same thing and still have trouble saying 'no' when I really just cannot do something. I find that practice makes perfect.

You are a kind, caring person. You seem to be reaching out to them so they can help you. Try talking to them about your problems, they may help you the way way you help them

Sometimes we get caught in this loop where we are always there for others and so we slip into this role as the supporter. It becomes our job to be helpful, and we never have a chance to ask for help, never have a desire to ask for help because that takes away our role, eliminates our job, makes us feel useless. But you are not useless, you are there for everyone and you deserve to be ok as well.

You feel this desire to come to the aid of your family over yourself because you have incredible compassion! We need more people in the world like you! Coming to your family's aid may help you better understand some of your own issues, as well. It's a win-win!

I think there is an element of compassion. I think one reason that some people, help others is that distracts them from their own problems. Another reason is that, when you help another individual to make a decision , you don't have to live with a decision. You are merely offering them assistance.

I’m going through this very situation now! After my parents past being the older daughter my younger siblings look to me for everything even their children do! I lost my only child in 2010 my niece who is only 9 months older than he was I help practically raise her so she feels like my daughter more than my niece she works very independent woman but sometimes she needs help and I don’t mind helping her because she shows the appreciation and sometimes she won’t take my help because she says she has to learn to deal with this on her own which makes me proud! She never asks me for anything I’m just always volunteering! Now my sister her mother left her husband her father for a guy she met on fb and she has two other children as well! Long story short the boyfriend kicked her out jobless, penniless, lost her home her marriage she now lives with me and my husband I didn’t want to see her homeless! The deal was as long as she lived in my home she was to go back to school to get her GED it’s been 2 yrs and still no GED! Now her middle daughter is newly married 6 months pregnant and her husband in the military just left for basic she is 24..... and very immature to be a wife and a mother! I literately saw her kick her German Shepard in the stomach because she came home and didn’t receive a letter from her husband god help that baby if it goes to screaming for her mother! I can’t say no my husband you can’t help everyone and I know I can’t but if I don’t help I get anxiety bad so I can’t answer this question..... I need help myself

Because you are kind-hearted and caring! But you cannot forget that the most important person to look after is you! If you need some help seek help from local counselors and helplines.

So you feel as though you are always helping others but not able to help yourself? I understand that feeling. What do you need help with?

Sometimes its a lot easier to see through someone else's problems when you have no bias and are working from the outside. Other people's problems always seem simpler.

It s the urge of a human nature, wanting to b seen and accepted to sort of feeling good in oneself as our kind act. We always get stuck witj our own issues as we immerse in an anticipated outcomes as the way we want than the way it is.

your own problems are different then other's. Sometimes the solution is something you wouldn't think of it yourself

It's just easier to help other people because it's sometimes more difficult to process our own emotions and experiences than giving counsel and advice to others or helping them in other ways. Sometimes we also throw our attention into something to distract ourselves so that we don't have to focus on the things happening to us, it's a very common response when our personal life is in disarray and we have no idea how to start managing it. That said, it is important to help yourself first because a more confident and happier you will also inspire others as your disposition will project outwardly and can impact others who you are helping as well.