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Why do I always have to hide my true self so that I don't bother my parents?

12 Answers
Last Updated: 05/25/2020 at 2:12pm
1 Tip to Feel Better
United Kingdom
Moderated by

Halayma Khatun, M.A Theology(U.K, UAE), Diploma With Distinction in Counseling

Counselor

Compassionate, patient, experienced depression counselor. I use Psychodynamic counseling techniques. My counseling experience is +8 years, I counsel women.

Top Rated Answers
OQuinn
April 30th, 2015 1:48pm
Because you'll either get hurt or they won't accept you the way you are. There's a lot of reasons why we hide ourselves from people we love.
Banven
April 10th, 2015 2:49pm
You don’t have to, that’s a choice you’ve made and it sounds like you are putting too much pressure on yourself to be someone you think your parents expect you to be. Never forget that no matter how different you think you are, you are the offspring of your parents; they made you. You are the way you are because of them; their genes, their upbringing, their life lessons. You are mixture of their personalities. You should never have to hide who you are from your parents. If you think they wouldn’t approve of how you really are, or wouldn’t like it, then just remember; You are them and they are you. Of course, you are your own person, but they should accept you for who you really are, you don’t need to lie to them. What’s the worst case scenario? They kick you out? They disown you? Then they are hiding from themselves. They say you can’t choose your family, but you can. Blood is thicker than water, look up the real meaning of that. Do you really want to live a lie, a pretend life that probably makes you sad? Be yourself, you’ll be happier for it, and you are number one in this world. Look after yourself. Best case scenario? Well, they don’t care. They probably knew it anyway. You are them and they are you after all. So, kick you out and say they “failed as parents” is one option for them. Accept you for you and love you for your honesty is another. Either way, you win as a person and actually your parents win at being parents as they’ve raised someone who can be themselves. Be who you want to be, not what people expect you to be.
EtherealHedonist
May 17th, 2015 1:40pm
It's up to you if you want to hide your true self, but there are just some people who would kick you down just because you're different in their perspective. Don't worry, once you get to move, you can show your true colors.
Becamuniz
January 14th, 2015 7:11am
Have you tried talking about you with your family? may help them to accept or respect you.
versatileOasis48
May 3rd, 2015 1:47am
Do you think what your feeling is the fear of being rejected by your parents? Sometimes it can be hard to live up to your parents expectations, just remember your parents love you.
JustLikeaDream
May 20th, 2015 3:33am
Hiding your true self will only make you think there's something wrong with you. You can always try to make your parents see your point of view, what makes you happy. And isn't it everyone's life goal? To be happy. They love you and they only want you to be happy. Maybe they don't understand you, and you have to show them and help them understand.
Kasey1186415
June 17th, 2015 4:02am
We're taught from day one to be an individual. So, why must I be something I'm not to please you? You should love me for who I am because I am your child.
Anonymous
October 26th, 2015 10:09pm
Because your afraid you might hurt them but sometimes the hardest choice is the right choice
Littleknitter24
August 29th, 2016 10:30am
It sounds like you feel stressed around your parents, and that makes you act in a different way than usual around them.
Anonymous
October 4th, 2016 6:53pm
Our parents wants what's best for us and therefore what they want us to be but we are all our own special human beings and may want different things for ourselves and hiding who you really are is just hurting you so don't hide the amazing person you are because no matter what once you are happy with who and what you are is the most amazing gift of all be happy be you
Mycool2019
December 30th, 2019 11:03am
Your parents I think to love us so much and actually sometimes too much, that they might disapprove or dislike our true selves. Sometimes hiding this until you're an adult can be a good thing, and sometimes if you say it right you can be yourself. It's all about timing and being you. At the end of the day, you never stop growing and you will naturally turn into yourself anyway. Still, you should love your parents, and if you need help you can always ask me 😁 or another listener on 7 cups. Plus we all have different interest which is fine, and parents just don't get us sometimes, it's ok to hide some things from them just as long as they don't find out and make sure if you know it's bad then don't do it.
Anonymous
May 25th, 2020 2:12pm
Parents are from a different time period in terms of their behavior and the space of their mind. It is very difficult to convince parents about certain ideals that you may have because they have never had to come to terms with, or experience this kind of situation. Hence rather than hiding yourself, its better to come out to them and let them know that it is completely okay. If they don’t understand. However this is you and you have to put that forth to them. That is the only way they will start accepting the real you rather than rejecting