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Why do I often have the feeling that my parents and siblings use me as a scapegoat?

6 Answers
Last Updated: 09/14/2015 at 7:32am
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
Moderated by

Alex DS Ellis, MA, LMFT

Marriage & Family Therapist

Feeling depressed or anxious can be so overwhelming. I want to help you feel better and be able to enjoy life. You are not alone and you deserve emotional support.

Top Rated Answers
Anonymous
September 14th, 2015 7:32am
They probably see you as an easy target. As someone with this same problem my therapist had me set boundaries with my parents and sibling. It's hard to do but enabling them is worse.
therapinto
March 17th, 2015 9:17am
I am really sorry to hear that. I think you should try to make a list of all the things that they blame you for. Read every thing in the list and check which of the blames are right and which are wrong. Be honest with yourself while doing so. Also try to think from their perspective when doing so. Based on that you can find out whether you are really wrong or they are just blaming it on you for no reason.
Anonymous
April 20th, 2015 6:09am
Firstly, consider the situations and events when you felt like a scapegoat for yiur family members. Then, go talk to them and tell them why and how you felt that way. It's possible that you family isn't doing it on purpose. At least by talking about it, you can all figure out how to resolve this issue
Anonymous
May 3rd, 2015 7:57pm
Because I allow them to. I feel that they can because they love me. My prefer they do it to me than to cause others unhappiness.
originalLion57
June 12th, 2015 9:46am
Because it might be true, some families find a scapegoat, the black sheep, so they can blame them for the things that go wrong. It's much easier to place the blame somewhere else than to face the hard truths about themselves.
PoliteOcean
September 6th, 2015 6:43pm
If you are feeling troubled by feelings that your family is causing you, the best thing to try to do is to speak with them about how you feel.