Why do my mom and stepdad always fight about me?
Last Updated: 12/05/2017 at 12:52pm
Lindsay Scheinerman, MA, LPC
Licensed Professional Counselor
My work with clients is to help them recognize and build on their strengths to find solutions for the conflicts presented in their lives.
Top Rated Answers
Your mother might always stick up for you and choose your side over your stepfathers side and he might feel that he then isn't a priority in your moms life
I have found that parents tend to fight over a child due to love of some kind. They both have an idea of how they want you to grow and become an adult, but their ideas don't always line up. Nine out of ten times, they simply want the best for you, but can't agree on how to go about doing it.
Parents and step-parents want the very best for their kids. Sometimes, they do not agree with what is best in a situation, and conflict occurs. In a blended family, there is occasionally conflict because the parent may not want the step parent to share certain parenting responsibilities. All of these issues occur due to the stress of growing and changing relationships, and because of the love they have for you. Be patient, as it will get better as everyone gets better at working together.
There can be many reasons for you mom and stepdad fighting about you, the most likely reason is confilcting opinions on what you should be allowed to do, but only because they care. I would recommend asking them about it if it worries you.
Parents often have differences on how we should parent. its normal for them to have differing ideas on issues that concern you.
It could a couple things. One, they may just want only the best for you. They want you to succeed and be the best you possible. And two, it could be that your stepdad just wants to be a part of your life and your mother is saying " She already has a father that is a part of her life." Either way, them arguing about you only creates stress on you. It's best if you talked them both separately and see what is actually happening.
Sometimes parents don't see eye to eye, and end up having disagreements that will bring the child into the mixture. You can always tell them that their fighting is hurting you emotionally and mentally.
About me not being social enough with the stepdad (after they married), staying too late outside, spending too much, grade problems at university, not being present at family gatherings etc.
I think, we would need more information about this one. Unfortunately, one can't answer this in general for all families, because every family situation is different.
Are you sure it's really you that they fight about, or are you reading too much into it. Maybe it's something that doesn't even relate to you.
Perhaps they are both stressed themselves. Talk to the parent you are more comfortable with about ways to overcome the stress and question them about ways you can help.
It's a difficult situation, he probably feels threatened by you, knows that your needs are more important than his own. He can't really discipline you & may disagree with some of your moms parenting but feels like he can't do anything about it. Your mom is trying to manage to completely different relationships, parent/child & hers/his so it must be very difficult for her too.
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