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I am trying to forgive this guy that I have been with off and on for almost 6 years for what he has done to me, I still love him with all my heart, but I how can I learn to forgive him?

9 Answers
Last Updated: 04/07/2020 at 3:43pm
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United States
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Top Rated Answers
- Expert in Forgiveness
January 2nd, 2017 8:03am
I would first begin with asking yourself what exactly is stopping you from forgiving him and share those feelings and concerns with him. It could be a lack of fully understanding his reasoning behind hurting you. Allow yourself to feel the emotions that come with his hurtful behavior and share them with him. If you decide to work things out, try to remember that by forgiving him, you are recommiting yourself to the relationship. Any unresolved and/or negative feelings that could sabotage your relationship should be dealt with BEFORE any reconciliation is considered.
February 28th, 2017 2:18am
I'm having this situation too. It really takes time to forget. It's okay. Just take how much time you want to accept the mistake and at the same time, try to open up a bit and forgive. Just think that he is not the right one for you. Don't waste your emotion on something that not belong to you. You can do it. I believe in you.
March 7th, 2017 4:02pm
Forgiving someone can be hard I know how you feel. If he hurt you then it'll take time to forgive him or even go back to the way things were. You can love him still because I myself loved someone who hurt me so much. I use to tell him "I love you, even though I don't like you right now. I want you, even though you keep breaking me down." If things change, you might be able to move on or even forgive him, but those things take time and if you don't forgive you don't. I usually tell people to forgive and forget because you don't want to hold a grudge either, but more or less just let it go to the past and just move on from it, but that's usually when it's been months or even years with that kind of stuff.
February 8th, 2017 12:09pm
forgiveness is the best way to have peace of mind, and it's the only thing you can do now, you should try to forgive people just for yourself because it will set you free
February 21st, 2017 3:12am
In my experience, it can be helpful to first identify what obstacles are standing in the way of forgiveness. With the obstacles identified, consider if you have personal control over any of those obstacles. If so, try to think about how the benefits of maintaining the obstacle compare with the benefits of dismantling it. This might be able to help you make progress.
April 3rd, 2017 9:48am
First of all, try to talk to him over a coffee, share your real feelings to him. Next, ask him whether he is still in the picture or not, how he is trying to fulfill his comitment and what are his efforts. You can also try to ask your friends help and advice on how to fix your relationship.
April 3rd, 2018 3:05am
By realizing it's always a choice. By sayin to yourself, "he did wrong to me, but what's happened cannot be changed. It's time for me to move on, that's the best thing I could do right now." Forgiving him is essential for your own state of being. You needn't forget, but you can always forgive. It's been so long and yet it's hard. It just means you're still living in the past. It's okay, we all need our time. Acceptance is what's essential. Only then will you be able to move forward.
May 1st, 2018 12:47pm
Try to remember the good parts of the relationship. There must have been enough of them to make you hold on for 6 years. Look at the relationship as a growing process and move on.
April 7th, 2020 3:43pm
I understand that you are struggling to forgive him, and forgiveness can be very challenging, as I know. I have been in a similar situation. I struggled to forgive my partner of, at the time, 3 years for how he had treated me. However, I sat down with him and had a thorough conversation about everything that had happened between us and we opened up about a lot of things that we never discussed previously. This helped us to become stronger together and it helped me get through what he had put me through. Forgiveness does take some time. What do you feel that the next steps would be for you both?