Skip to main content Skip to bottom nav

I have a lot of bitterness to those who hurt me. How can I possible forgive them?

5 Answers
Last Updated: 10/01/2019 at 8:59am
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
Moderated by

Tracy-Kate Teleke, PsyD, M.A., LMFT

Marriage & Family Therapist

I assist adults and couples in CA experiencing relationship challenges and interpersonal struggles including anxiety, depression, and a myriad of other life challenges.

Top Rated Answers
SilhouetteStar
February 5th, 2018 10:12am
We do a lot of things for others. For some of us Our whole life revolves around ‘others’ and all our efforts are devoted to make and see them happy. If there’s one thing we ought to do for ourselves, it is definitely forgiving whatever all others have done to you to possibly turn you into who you are today, be it bitter or more loving. Let go off all the anger and everything that you don’t know but you feel and Forgive them With the same heart you’ve been loving, it’s not easy but it’s worth it.
Waltzzzz
August 14th, 2018 5:45am
Bitterness will not make the things better on you :) Remember taking any revenge or having pity to someone will just make you like as bad as them :) let karma do justice on you :) live your life without bitterness to others.
27Roses
September 22nd, 2018 12:33am
I'm sorry to hear. It sounds as though you have already started your journey on forgiveness by reaching out to others on how to forgive. I don't think forgiveness is one of those things that happens very quickly. Give yourself a break! Just remember the bitterness only hurts you. Take back your power. Not sure about your situation but for myself I found it easier to forgive when I took a look at myself to figure out what I really wanted. Meaning I did not want to be bitter anymore or mad anymore so I just stopped. It may sound silly but when these people or experiences would pop into my head I would force them out by focusing on anything else that was good. I would repeat this good thought in my head over and over until I no longer thought about being bitter or angry. Best of luck!
IvorySound
October 2nd, 2018 9:13pm
Forgiveness is not easy. In fact, it's extremely difficult. But holding a grudge is even harder. You don't have to forgive them for them but you should forgive them for you. Otherwise, you'll carry that weight around forever. And you'll never feel at peace. I know this from experience. You don't even have to have a relationship of any kind with them but let go of all that bitterness. Holding all that can affect your future and even present relationships. Just keep in mind, forgiving is not for them but for yourself. Regardless of who they are and what they did. I find it's of no use to dwell on the past.
TheHelpfulPillow
October 1st, 2019 8:59am
Acknowledge that the past is only hurting you because you're giving it power to. Bitterness will eat you up and never give you peace. Forgiveness doesn't mean you need to let people into your life again, it just means you're willing to no longer hold any grudges for past actions. Forgiveness to me feels like a weight off of my shoulders, whereas bitterness will keep reminding you of the justice that you didn't feel you received. I have heard of techniques where writing down all of your anger toward those that hurt you, then throwing away the paper, and letting your bitterness die, has helped.