Should I help someone who hurt me and bad mouthed me in the past? I went into depression due to this person's actions
Last Updated: 11/30/2020 at 6:50pm
Dorothy Paige, MS Psychology
Licensed Professional Counselor
I believe that any issue that prevents one from living life to the fullest or prevents self love is defeating. I am committed to providing support to anyone who seeks help.
Top Rated Answers
It's a great question. The morally right answer is of course yes. But the human answer is why should I? I think that while morally we are obligated to help others, we should also look to protect and love ourselves at the same time. If the help that you would like to offer does not hurt you further emotionally or physically but instead gives you a sense of relief or release from these bad actions that happened in the past, then I would say by all means do so.
Forgiving someone is difficult especially forgiving someone who hurts you so badly. But the thing is, the best revenge is not with being bad to someone else but with being nice through our kindness.
Sometimes it is better to forgive even in tough times where the person words affected you a lot throughout your life. Although forgiveness help clean our heart from hatred enabling us to feel the light of life, this in return helps makes us better people and it makes the things that made us suffer weaker than us. It builds us to be stronger and better as individuals, as well as makes you an inspiration and role model to many people in the world. Forgiving someone who once was your weakness makes you stronger than they’ll ever be because getting better will make them jealous because they still have their negativity with them.
Unless they've apologized and genuinely made up for how they wronged you, you should absolutely not help them. That would be an act of grave injustice on your part seeing as how they not only did nothing to earn your help, but they also went out of their way to actively treat you badly in the past. If this person is still in your life for some reason, then I would strongly urge you to cut them out as a matter of preserving your own self-esteem. I mention self-esteem here because I think you'd look upon yourself with great respect if you choose to draw a clear line in the sand as far as this situation goes.
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