If I like girls but also have crushes on very feminine boys, does that make me bisexual or a lesbian?
Last Updated: 02/21/2020 at 11:48pm
Jui Shankar, Ph.D
My worldview offers a systems perspective that values diverse clients and their struggles. I believe supportive and nonjudgmental therapeutic relationships empower clients.
Top Rated Answers
Orientation are based on the gender of identification of the people we are attracted to, not their gender expression. If you are attracted to more than one gender, that would make you bisexual, regardless of how the boys you like express themselves. Perhaps you prefer femininity as outer expression, but it doesn't change the fact that the boys you like still identify as boy, so it sounds like you're bi.
I think you are bisexual because feminine boys are still boys. Maybe you like to be dominant in your relationship. But if you find that you don't have any sexual attraction with the male gender than you are lesbian. I don't think you need to put a label of lesbian or bisexual on yourself. Relax and you can go with whoever you feel attracted to and later you will eventually know your sexual preference. Moreover, love and lust are very different. when you will fall in love, you will want to get physical regardless of your partner's gender. I hope you luck for your future.
It's understandably confusing to navigate your sexuality and growth as an intimate individual with diverse romantic interests, but don't be quick to push yourself into any boxes! You do not have to define yourself as either bisexual or a lesbian now (or ever). Sexuality is a very fluid scale and there are hundreds of stops along the way between "hetero" and "homo" that you may feel comfortable identifying with. I can empathize that being able to find a 'label' will be comforting and may even help you on your journey towards self-discovery. Most accurately to common understanding, being interested in both girls and feminine boys would mean you may be bisexual. I wish you all of the confidence and support to be able to fearlessly live your truth and discover yourself moving forward!
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