Do distance relationships work when both are in different unis?
3 Answers
Last Updated: 01/20/2021 at 9:11pm
Moderated by
Tracy-Kate Teleke, PsyD, M.A., LMFT
Marriage & Family Therapist
I assist adults and couples in CA experiencing relationship challenges and interpersonal struggles including anxiety, depression, and a myriad of other life challenges.
Top Rated Answers
They can! I'm in one of those relationships myself. It's definitely different than closer relationships, and it comes with both its own challenges and unique things that make it special. You'll hear time and time again that communication and trust are important for any healthy relationship, and it's still true for distance ones, but keep in mind that it takes time for both of these things to develop (so don't be too hard on yourself or your partner when it's hard or when you guys mess up!). Balancing the logistical aspect of distance relationships between different unis will take time, too. You'll have to be patient with yourself and your partner as you guys figure out a rhythm that works between your two schedules, and to give a little grace when last minute things come up and a video/phone call has to be postponed.
If you'd like to chat more about this, feel free to message me! I also have a thread (https://www.7cups.com/forum/RelationshipFriendshipSupport_66/UnconventionalRelationships_529/LDRs_194527/) on distance relationships where you can find others in relatable, similar situations. Hope to hear from you soon!
Anonymous
September 20th, 2019 6:25pm
I believe that with open communication, honesty, understanding and trust a relationship can work when two partners are both at a different university. Try to make times that work to talk each day, make times to visit each other and keep each other updated on each others lives! This is a great time to figure out what you both love and what you want in the future, but it doesn't mean that you can't make it work! go out there and figure out who you are and what you want, have fun and just trust the timing and process!
Having met my partner while at college, we were both uncertain about how well we could have a long distance relationship while both at different universities across the country. However, we knew we wanted to stay together (having only been dating for 6 months before leaving).
I can say for certain that THEY DO WORK! of course there are many challenges to having a long distance relationship, apart from the obvious physical separation, it can be difficult seeing other people form relationships with others who live two streets away.
However, in my experience, I always felt those who found relationships at uni felt suffocated, always being so close to your partner doesn't always let you grow as a person, make your own friends, or make the most of being at university.
As long as you both have a strong sense of trust in each other, having a long distance relationship can only make the two of you stronger, and if you can make it through that, you can get through anything as a team.
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