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How do I let go of my past?

154 Answers
Last Updated: 10/03/2021 at 8:55am
How do I let go of my past?
1 Tip to Feel Better
Moderated by

Jui Shankar, Ph.D


My worldview offers a systems perspective that values diverse clients and their struggles. I believe supportive and nonjudgmental therapeutic relationships empower clients.

Top Rated Answers
July 20th, 2016 8:27pm
Make friends with it . You will never be able to run away fro. It it will catch up so stop acknowledge accept and slowly start moving forward. One step at a time
August 20th, 2016 7:02pm
Focus a lot on what is happening now. Have a focus for today. Something that makes you feel good about yourself
September 3rd, 2016 7:19pm
You have to try to focus on the present by releasing those negative feelings and thinking positive thoughts
September 23rd, 2016 9:49pm
Letting go is a skill we can all learn. Mindfulness exercises help us see what it feels like. After that it's simply a matter of substituting memories of what it is to feel relaxed when troublesome memories occur. Like all skills it is easier to talk about this one after you have mastered it then it is to believe it is possible before you have mastered it. Living is learning.
October 2nd, 2016 4:39am
the best thing to do is to focus on the now and think about the future.. use the past as a lesson and not a crutch.
October 27th, 2016 10:23am
Concentrate on the future, not the past. Remember that 'every cloud has a silver lining' in the end!
November 4th, 2016 11:05am
Go outside. Run, run and run until you get tired. You see, you should stop dwelling about the past. Once you run, make your you get yourself so tired. Now, look at the sky and tell yourself "This is the new me and the present me, there is no such thing as the past, there is only the present."
November 6th, 2016 9:05pm
By forgiving yourself and others and accepting who you are now regardless of whatever happened back in the day.
November 18th, 2016 8:09pm
Reconciling yourself with it and forgiving yourself and others where possible. Those are the two main steps towards letting go. Everyone has something in their past that to this day sticks in their craw, it's how you view your past that makes a difference to whether or not you carry that into your future. You might need to talk about something you've never talked of before before fully expunging it. On that basis you might need to get professional help to let go of a few things and it's a very helpful way to get a different perspective on things. Or maybe just talking to a friend about things might dislodge the wedge they have in your brain. While the past to an extent shapes us, it doesn't define us or stop us from getting up tomorrow morning and experiencing a new day. Don't let it get in the way of everything you want to do or become.
November 24th, 2016 1:04am
The past is a difficult concept. Just when we think we are over it, something reminds us. A photo, a song, a place. Some memories are beautiful, others not so much. You keep taking each day once at a time, you continue to walk forward and one day the past won't hurt so much anymore. Because you'll realise the future you were hoping for, is what you are living.
December 30th, 2016 6:34am
Letting go of anything can be extremely difficult, especially if it's something that happened in your past. But there comes a point when holding on becomes worse than letting go, and you have to take that great big step. Letting go isn't easy, and there are days I still get pulled back to my past. But I do some deep breathing and try to change my thoughts and focus on what I'm doing right now in the present, and what I want to achieve and be doing in my future. I tell myself that I need to let go and move on, and think about all I've learned from my past and accept that I can't change it. My past made me who I am today, but that doesn't mean I have to hold on to it.
December 31st, 2016 7:30pm
You don't. You look back on your past to help you move into your future. Life is like a car.. the rear view mirrors are smaller because we need to pay attention to what's behind us. The windshield focuses more on where we are heading.
January 25th, 2017 5:10pm
Embrace the present. Not the future. But the now. Pay attention to the rise and fall of your chest as you breathe and the miracle that is life. Pay attention to the way the clouds drift lazily across the sky and find the beauty in the moment that you have right now,
March 23rd, 2017 2:09pm
When I think of the past I think of time. The past, literally, is everything that happened up until this one moment - which itself just passed by. The past, literally, doesn't exist in reality - only in my mind. And with that, I can process what goes on in my mind however I want. Have I made mistakes? Yes! A lot of them. Though consequences of those mistakes may be part of my reality now, it doesn't mean I am without the potential of changing. And in a very real sense, regret over things in the past are literally the first step of moving on, toward progress. That's because you say to yourself, "hey, I didn't like that - I'll never do THAT again." And you likely won't. So learn the lesson and forget the experience. Time is always in transition - and set yourself up for success during the only time you truly have: the moment right now.
March 30th, 2017 5:10am
Tie all the loose ends you have, if you have something you want to tell to someone, tell him/her. Don't think about the "what-ifs", everything happened for a reason and you need to learn the lesson of it so you can make ir better or never do it again. Let your past be the building blocks of who you re now and the inspiration of who you want to become.
April 5th, 2017 4:55am
You could let go of your past by talking about it to your therapist or to someone close, you could forgive those that hurt you in your past and accept the mistakes that you did.
April 9th, 2017 6:05pm
Look forward to the future and be the best you can be! Don't overthink about letting go the past and let it flow :)
April 21st, 2017 7:13am
The past is a hard thing to forget, but the more one thinks about how difficult it is to forget, the harder it truly is. I can let go of friends or lost family members by staying social, doing my best in school and work, and living my life like I normally would, while getting moral support and help if needed.
May 3rd, 2017 10:35am
Letting go of your past takes time and effort. Taking on each day at a time and focusing on the present is a good start. Sure, you may think about previous events every now and then and they may pull you down but don't ever forget to carry forward and plough ahead! One day you'll look back and you'll see how much things have changed, how much you have changed, and how much you have moved on. c:
May 4th, 2017 3:02pm
To let go of your past, you have to move on. You have to make new friends, you have to get a new job, a new life. Anything to distract yourself of the past you are trying to leave behind. If you don't want to be so drastic, you must distract yourself. Surround yourself with loved ones and friends, seek professional help, or just have fun with your life. If you distract yourself long enough you will be able to move on. But sometimes it is different. You can't get it out of your head. You can't move on. That is when it is time to confront your problem. Meet your past face to face and just sort it out.
May 12th, 2017 1:58am
It can be so difficult to let go of the past. Letting go doesn't necessarily mean forgetting about it; it means accepting it as part of yourself. The first step to accepting anything is understanding why it happened. It takes a lot of contemplation and forgiveness, and it may take a really long time to learn how to forgive. Sometimes you have to forgive people who don't even ask for forgiveness. It's a learned skill. But once you learn to focus on the here and now and accept that you cannot change the past, you'll be able to welcome happiness back into your life.
May 12th, 2017 9:08am
In order to let go of my past, I had to learn to truly love myself. I didn't even know what that meant in the beginning of my journey. When I finally learned how to do this, I saw that I was a valuable person with alot to offer. This allowed me to begin to see a new future for myself. A future that was not built on the past but built on the foundational truth that I was of value, that I was loved, that I was not defined by my past and could lead the good life that I had envisioned.
May 25th, 2017 5:29pm
By holding onto the future. The past is for those of us who either can't or don't want to see the future. Where do you see yourself going? What is the next phase in your life? Where should you be? We let go of the past by agreeing it happened and facing the future. You may have dealt with a lot but are you dealing with that now? Will you deal with it in the future? Having gone through something bad means that you going through something worse is less likely; this can make you more prepared for handling things. Letting go is accepting and moving on. This doesn't mean you need to forget.
June 16th, 2017 5:44am
That is an excellent question. You cannot really let go of your past, you can just accept it and move forward. You have to learn to live with your past, and understand that your past doesn't shape who you are as a person. Your past just helps you not make the same mistakes twice and helps you grow!
June 22nd, 2017 9:33pm
I believe it's more important to come to terms with your past. The first step towards this is forgiveness. "Forgive not because they deserve; forgive because you deserve peace."
July 2nd, 2017 3:56am
By looking at the lessons it has taught you. We get over regrettable moments by changing our perspective on them. We grow from our experiences.
July 6th, 2017 11:08pm
I don't let go of my past. I use it to help me understand my present. I become more aware of the positive and negative of my past as an opportunity to create my present and to enlighten my values and wants. I learn to forgive myself and others because of the lessons from my past.
July 9th, 2017 3:11pm
What's done is done, look forward not backwards. Life is full of ups and downs, but you need to learn from your mistakes.
July 26th, 2017 12:34pm
I let go of my past by thinking about my future and my present conditions. I realized how the past kept me stuck up, drained me, made me pessimistic. I realized that my past doesn't define who I am. What defines is who I am in the present. I can't let my past drag me everytime I decide to improve myself. I let go of my past by realizing that if I don't do it, my future is doomed.
August 9th, 2017 4:54pm
Let go of the anger inside of you, make peace with it and come to terms that it happened and move on