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How do I let go of my past?

154 Answers
Last Updated: 10/03/2021 at 8:55am
How do I let go of my past?
1 Tip to Feel Better
India
Moderated by

Jui Shankar, Ph.D

Psychologist

My worldview offers a systems perspective that values diverse clients and their struggles. I believe supportive and nonjudgmental therapeutic relationships empower clients.

Top Rated Answers
RandomHumanBean
August 18th, 2017 3:04pm
Its hard to fully let go of it and you dont have to erase everything. But you need to know that if you're never turning the page and kept reading back the previous ones, you wouldn't be able to finish the book
Larelya
October 25th, 2017 2:52pm
Accept what happened and talk about it. Look at who you are today and who you were back then and you'll realize that a lot has changed since. Understand that you are not your past, it might be a part of you or it might have influenced you but you are not those bad memories and sad moments.
Anonymous
November 5th, 2017 7:42pm
I think confronting your past, first. To be able to let go of something I believe you have to be able to see it, and acknowledge your thoughts and feelings towards it. Sometimes we try to 'let go' as a way to divert how we feel and think about our pasts - and as a way to run from our experiences (and also our thoughts and feelings towards them). We may have shameful, traumatic or embarrassing experiences that we are tired of re-living in memory, so we want to know how to 'let go' of them. That way we no longer have to be inconvenienced by them and we can live our lives. But to 'let go' we need to look at the past, because we can't let go of things we prefer to ignore. It's important that we're honest with ourselves, especially when we make the decision to stop running towards the future and confront uncomfortable elements of the past. Often we put things under filters to make some memories more bearable, but with a difficult past it is SO important to remove the filter and look at the facts. By confronting the past in complete truth we are taking responsibility for ourselves (or dropping responsibility for others!) and GIVING ourselves the tools to move on. Because to address things correctly we need to be looking at the real, uncensored version. This first step is paramount. And sometimes this alone is enough for someone to move on, but it is also completely expected that there will then be more work and introspection involved. This can be one alone or with support (whatever you choose). Just remember (and to wrap this up!) self-love, care and compassion. The feelings we have towards our past can fool us into thinking it's not safe, but remember that you are ALWAYS safe. It can be a slow (and sometimes painful) process to do this, but it is always infinitely worth it. Hopefully, you find this wall useful!
tjb28
November 8th, 2017 8:45pm
Have you considered or tried any therapy. Here on 7 cups of tea there are lots of people who you can talk to and support you when you need it
BraveDuck
November 10th, 2017 8:33pm
Accepting that it happened, and that you can't change it goes a long way. If you can't change it, you can only learn from it, either from example if it was positive, or as a lesson on what not to do, but either way makes progress to a better self.
swanswan
November 15th, 2017 6:28am
Based on my personal experience, ive found that accepting the past for what it is and accepting that my past has made me who I am today. The pasts good and bad has given me the tools I need today needed to handle situations better.
2HellandBackSurvivor
November 16th, 2017 4:46pm
I let go of past pain by embracing what is happening now. We can't go back, life is constantly changing... doors open and doors close. We go through pain and loss, letting go... and then embrace the new that steps into our life. We understand our past trials can create a better self, if we learn the lessons. Compassion and understanding if nothing else.
ComfortZ0ne
November 22nd, 2017 2:04am
An easier way would be starting a new life in somewhere new or with somebody new. This way, we can move on our life without looking back at our past. However, this is like avoiding the past. When something happen that is similar to the past that we wish to forget, the feelings may return. Therefore, sometimes I think we have to accept our past to let go of our past. We can go back to the places we used to be in the past, or we can speak to someone about our past. This way, we let go of our past by accepting and overcoming it. Time can dilute the painful feelings we wish to forget.
Anonymous
November 24th, 2017 2:05pm
Write all your feelings down. Make a table of 2 columns. In one column write past and in 2nd write your present. Write the bad things and compare them with past how they seem better. Hope it helps.
ListenerM22
November 29th, 2017 3:35pm
Focus on something good in your life, like sports, clubs, school. Don't worry about what happened in the past and about the future
iMadi
December 8th, 2017 6:00pm
You take a step back, and understand everything can happen for a reason - sometimes life is hard, but that's okay. I must learn to forgive and let go of things that have challenged me in the past.
Anonymous
January 6th, 2018 11:12pm
Many people go through a similar thought of this. Letting go of the past is a big change. But in order to let go of the past, you have to embrace the present and future. You need a change, and in order to refuse the past of staying in your mind, just find a part of a new life and focus on that.
CareNow
January 25th, 2018 2:57am
By realizing that your future is up to you and the past is gone and doesn't exist anymore. See it as something that was part of your journey and if there was a negative experience, perhaps it is part of your life journey that makes you stronger and you bring the lessons with you but not the pain.
Anonymous
February 9th, 2018 10:09am
ry to make the whole process of finding your passions and desires fun. Don't push yourself. When you feel like trying harder – don't. You won't find your desires from a place of frustration. And instead of looking for that great passion, follow your curiosity. Look for the small things that excites you and follow that.
Yinyer
February 25th, 2018 7:21pm
Think of life as a ship - in order to not sink you need to get rid of the old ballast, the past, to make room for all the new things you want to load on board. Your past will always be a part of you, but carrying too much emotional baggage will only slow you down. Letting go of something won't happen in a day, rather step-by-step. Allow yourself to say goodbye to things from the past and to make peace with yourself every day. You can't get completely rid of your past, but you can learn to live with it.
mthilliard
March 1st, 2018 5:32pm
Realize that although you can't change the past, you can learn from it. Nobody is perfect. Move forward.
MagicalFall1973
March 11th, 2018 11:12pm
Focus on positive today, tomorrow and each day forward. and don't look back on any negative memory.
SpiritAlchemistAlexandra
April 6th, 2018 4:08pm
Know that you are constantly changing. Your cells completely change every 7 years so that who you were then is completely not who you are now, you have no attachment to that person you were except for memories. Just allow yourself to let go. You are different now, you do not need to identify with a past self that has completely died. The only moment that matters is the now.
AprylFools
April 26th, 2018 1:54pm
The first step is to come to terms with your past. Understand that it may not have been the greatest, but it is just that - the past. You have full control of how to address your future and sometimes, you need to keep looking forwards rather than back.
Anonymous
April 30th, 2018 12:34pm
To let go your past the first thing is yoi have accept it that it's over amd done you can't change the past but you have to power to not let it effect your present,you need to fogive yourself and the people who were part of the past.Healing comes by patient being gentle to self,most important thing is don't regret your past as it will bring the state of blaming,learn from the past take the lesson it tried to teach you in that way it doesn't remain a regret when it actually gave you an experience and something to learn.
Anonymous
June 7th, 2018 6:34am
From my personal experience there is no "letting go" of the past. Its more about changing the meaning or my perspective in a way that makes me feel better.
gentlePeace82
June 14th, 2018 12:19am
Letting go of the past if difficult because it feels as though we are letting go of a piece of ourselves. Letting go of a piece of our ourselves feels unsettling, similar to grief. In order to let go of our past and the emotions that it brings we need to disconnect with that piece and reclaim that our past is part of us but it does not define who we are. If we are letting go of a negative piece we need to proclaim that that piece no longer serves us and no longer helps us achieve who we want to become.
vroomvrooom
June 27th, 2018 11:11am
By understanding and realising that its in the past and you just cannot do anything about it now. We can focus to make the present & future better.
StWilson
July 14th, 2018 10:21am
Don't let go of past memories, Let it be. Be sad, Cry and you will see that automatically past was not valuable your feelings were. Respect your feelings and love yourself and past will become past.
Anonymous
July 19th, 2018 1:19am
Let it go. Let it go. The windshield on a car is so big for a reason. Exactly why the rearview mirror is so small in comparison.
PowerofNow247
July 20th, 2018 9:19am
By honouring your present. There was never a time that was not now just different points of past nows, what you focus on expands focus on your present moment.
amane03
July 22nd, 2018 10:37pm
The truth is you can't just let go of it. Even after healing, it will always be there unfortunately. And coming to that realisation is a huge part of "letting go"of some of it.
KarenMarie
July 27th, 2018 4:18am
Focus on the present and see if you can learn from your past try not to keep rehashing the mistakes you have made whats done cannot be change but you can learn from them
TheCreative1One
July 29th, 2018 2:06am
Forgiveness and contentment. Work on your mental stability, and focus on improving your future. Forgive those who may have hurt you, and most importantly forgive yourself. And figure out the best way for you to learn how to be content with your life. Look forward to big events in your future, and dont forget to enjoy the "now" while its still happening around you.
WillowOnMain
August 8th, 2018 9:52pm
To let go of your past, you must find motivation in your future, something new to work towards and care about. When you have something to focus on in the present that gives you gratification and positive enforcement for the future, you can let go of your past.