I don't know what I should do with my crappy life anymore. I can't imagine a life without this suffering. How do I look forward to anything better?

Start by changing perspectives. Life isn't crappy but we may allow ourselves to view it that way by our own inhibitations and restrictions. Hence, there is a need to make personalized plans that we can succeed in with having similar achievable goals. We must know ourselves and our circumstances well, in order to make our plans and gain progress. We must know at times we would be unable to acquire everything, all at once. Hence put our priorities in the right order. If, we do not do this, we can be aiming for the stars forgetting what's on the ground. Comparing our successes and failures with that of others also is a matter of injustice as no two individuals are alike. We can be inspired but in the end, it's our own path to walk on.

As hard as it can be to look for something positive, reframing your outlook is the first step towards positivity. I often find hope in that a majority of people in the world share this same sentiment. We're all dredging through this world together and as much as there is a potential for doom and gloom, there is the potential for hope and change. Our brains are so good at getting into and staying in a spiral of sadness. Gratitude journals and vision boards were a good way to start thinking about what positive things I have in my life and something to look back and refer to on the really bad days. Hope that helps!