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Why doesn't taking care of myself come naturally to me?

98 Answers
Last Updated: 03/12/2021 at 6:12pm
1 Tip to Feel Better
Moderated by

Shruti Naik, MS in Counselling and Psychotherapy


I'm passionate about providing a non-judgmental & supportive platform to my clients to help them understand & accept themselves & overcome any emotional issues troubling them.

Top Rated Answers
June 6th, 2018 10:14am
It's a learning process. The good thing is you can start at any time. Start with simple things such as taking care of your skin and then go onto bigger things. Also, give yourself time to adjust and no need to tackle everything at once. Take care of yourself because you love yourself and see the world around you improve.
June 20th, 2018 5:21pm
Being a caregiver by nature, it is hard to take care of myself when I'm used to taking care of others more.
June 30th, 2018 4:03pm
Taking care of yourself is hard for many people, and is often not what’s seemingly natural to do in difficult situations.
July 11th, 2018 3:42pm
Since you have knowledge about both of the positive and negatives of yourself. This affects how you see yourself. Knowing your negatives blinds you from seeing your positives. Thus, you might be pushing yourself from believing in yourself. This stops you from encouraging yourself.
July 22nd, 2018 10:36pm
Its different for everyone. For a lot of people its not a top priority and honestly thats okay! It truly depends on you :)
September 9th, 2018 3:20pm
Self-neglect can be an indicator of something serious that needs to be paid attention to. I'm not a therapist or a mental health care professional so I don't know what prolonged self-neglect can lead to, but i do know that it's not good. Self-neglect may be caused by lack of motivation, external validation, and overall lust for life. Taking care of oneself can be a lot of work and sometimes we just don't bother. But let me tell you something. Based on my experience so far on earth, the more you invest on self-care, the more rewarding your day to day life feels :)
October 1st, 2018 10:13pm
I understand how it can feel difficult. There may be many thoughts, such as "I don't deserve it" "I don't have the time or resources", but you should move on from these thoughts, because you DO deserve self-care. Self care can come in many ways, but again, I could understand how frustrating and nearly impossible it might be to come up with something you are grateful for, or what you feel you have achieved, or aspects of yourself you like, because I've been there, and I've had difficulty looking past my flaws. But once you really dig in, see yourself for who you are, know that you do have control over some aspects of your life, and make a good change. You just have to accept that everyone deserves some love, and the greatest love comes from you, to you.
January 18th, 2019 4:07am
It seems like my self-care isn't as important as doing other tasks when things get really stressful. I have to remind myself that people need refueling, too. I cannot fill from an empty cup, so I've got to make sure that I am well before I try to help others. This isn't always easy because life seems to get in the way at times -- but it's actually remember that the little things are what help me do the big things that makes the biggest difference. If I model good self-care, then it's likely that I'll also be able to help others much more easily.
May 16th, 2019 1:40am
Not being able to take care of yourself can be a sign of a mental issue; however, for me, I am always worried about helping others as much as possible while ignoring myself. When I feel like time for caring for myself is not happening, I try to remember that I can not help others unless I take care myself. I have struggled with depression for years, and sometimes it is very hard to get up and do anything, let alone take care of myself. If you feel like this as well, I would suggest seeking help or talking to somebody about how you are feeling.
August 25th, 2019 2:03am
I think that sometimes we tend to care more about others and what they think of us then putting ourselves first. It’s hard to do that at first but when you learn that you are loved then it will come to you. I understand what your saying but it’s important that we take care of our needs first so that we are able to be there for others. You are so loved and everyone that loves you wants you to be safe and take care of yourself. I love you and I would never want you to feel like your not worth it
September 6th, 2019 10:49pm
Sometimes it's hard to take care of ourselves, because it's like our role is to take care of others. If you find that people around you expect you to help them before taking care of yourself, it can lead to low self-esteem and self-compassion. It's very important to remember that taking care of yourself is the very first step to caring for others, and that before being a friend/lover/family member/caregiver, you are, first and foremost, a human being with your very own needs. If you find that this is your situation, try and take a moment every day where you set aside the "caregiver" role that you've been given (sometimes that you've given yourself!) and see yourself as the recipient of care.
November 27th, 2019 1:14pm
Taking care of ourselves never comes naturally to us because since childhood we are taught to keep others before us. We are always supposed to base our actions on how others will respond or reciprocate to them. The first step towards self-care is accepting that it's okay to keep ourselves and our mental health first. It's okay to think about ourselves first. We need to understand that we are equally important as the opposite person and we need the same amount of care and love. We need to understand that empty vessels cannot pour. Over time it will come naturally.
February 16th, 2020 5:02am
Well maybe you never learnt as a child how to do that. Your parents most likely did everything for you and it made you really dependent on them. I think that isn't a healthy thing though. Maybe speak to a trusted person about this, that could be very useful to you Well maybe you never learnt as a child how to do that. Your parents most likely did everything for you and it made you really dependent on them. I think that isn't a healthy thing though. Maybe speak to a trusted person about this, that could be very useful to you
February 27th, 2020 6:10am
Not taking care of yourself can be a sign of depression. Lack of hygiene like showering brushing your teeth things of that nature could be signs of a lack of self-worth, which can stem from depressive tendencies. It is OK to feel this way but you have to realize this is a symptom of something else. Sleeping excessively not showering and not eating can all be signs of being depressed. Try to talk to someone on here or a therapist or even someone that you trust because there’s a reason you feel this way
March 5th, 2020 3:42am
Maybe you wasn't taught to put yourself first. There is something to do with your upbringing. If your family has taught you that putting yourself first is an act of selfish, probably it is easy for you to feel guilty about speaking out for yourself or even thinking about your physical(or emotional) limits in certain situations. In that case, congratulations! You have been raised to be a people pleaser. People-pleasers are good at giving instead of taking or preserving for themselves. It is not your fault that it is not natural for you to take care yourself first. But you are aware of it now. And you can start doing it today. Self-care is your priority now. Cultivate the habit.
March 21st, 2020 6:01pm
Taking care of myself doesn't come naturally to myself because I am a helper. I have a big heart, I enjoy tending to others. I am on the journey of discovering my self love as I believe it is a lifelong journey. I am accepting the reality that in order to truly help others, I need to help myself first. It is hard for me to tend to myself first, as I am my worst critic. It is easier to beat myself up when I have done something wrong. I struggle with others view of me, when people are rejectful towards me I turn it inwardly. As this negative spiral I experience makes it very hard for me to connect within me and take care of myself.
March 25th, 2020 2:33am
Taking care of myself never use to come naturally to me because when I was younger no one her taught me how to take care of myself. I grew up in a very rough environment, with a lot of unfriendly faces very far from my family, around a lot of people who hurt me a lot. They didn’t care much about my well being so I was never shown how to take care of myself. I was shown how to do chores and I was shown a lot of cruelty. As I got older I learned what cleanliness was and I learned how to take care of myself and I still am. I’m still learning to get sleep and to feed myself the way I should and I’m still learning to recognize when someone is mistreating me, but the reason taking care of myself wasn’t something I just did, was because no one around me took care of me, or themselves either.
March 29th, 2020 7:11am
It's because I stay busy in my works and can't find enough time to provide proper amount of care to myself. Although I make plans but due to being in a tough schedule most of the time those plans don't get a happy execution. I feel that if I maintain a good habit formation strategy and pick up good habits also make it a regular practice then I can be able to take care of myself as well as help others with a clear sense of understanding and not making unproductive assumptions while trying to help people. It'll also be a good thing to develop a peaceful mind as well.
April 9th, 2020 8:36pm
I hear you asking why taking care of yourself doesn’t feel natural to you. What things have you tried to practice good self care? I can definitely understand this dilemma as I have often felt the same way. It is difficult to me also. If you’ve had any type of trauma in your life, It can definitely be more difficult to identify your feelings and needs. In what way are you doing a good job of taking care of yourself? In what areas could you grow in? Do you feel you are worthy just as much as others in your life are worthy of taking care of themselves? What is one thing you could do this week to nurture yourself?
April 18th, 2020 5:56pm
I think this question really make me re-evaluate how I take care of myself. I tend to put the needs of others first before mine. I am a kind hearted person therefore it comes with the territory. I feel like when I take care of others, it just makes it more rewarding for me. To be able to see that others are cared for first is like caring for myself also. I also know that you know when you need to listen to your body and care for yourself so that you can continue reaching out to others to care for them.
May 8th, 2020 2:11pm
Sometimes it depends on the situation; if you haven't had the encouragement and support from family and friends, from a partner or potential partner. Sometimes you need to find the thing that motivates you to take care of yourself. Self love is always a factor in these things. It can be hard without the support but if you can seek such support from family, friends or a partner (if you have one) can help, depending on your circumstances. Patience is required when trying to find yourself. If you're not sure of whom you are or meant to be, it can be a contributing factor. I hope this helps.
May 13th, 2020 11:27am
It most likely has to do with self esteem. If you feel like you are worth nothing and you do not deserve anything good in life you will put others first and not yourself. It is difficult to see and realize your own worth but it is essential in order to have a healthy life, healthy relationships and a healthy mind. Furthermore, how other people have treated you in your life can be a factor as well. When all you know is being treated like you are not worthy of good things someday you will believe it. But you deserve to be happy.
May 21st, 2020 2:06pm
Maybe it's because all your life you put others in front of you, you worry about others health then maybe later that when you think about yours, sometimes it doesn't come naturally because you never took the time out to see if you need anything, or maybe you grow up taking care of a family member so much that no its time to take care of your self you find it really weird to do, sometimes you find it easy to take care of others ininstead of taking care of your you feel selfish if you took just a min to take care of your self
June 24th, 2020 7:31am
Taking care of yourself often doesn't come naturally, especially if you're a selfless person who tends to put others' needs before their own. It can be hard to put yourself first when people around you have their own issues, however, self-care is super important. Remember that in order to be there for others, you have to be there for yourself first! Personally, I try to plan self-care days monthly so I can take some time to reflect on how I'm doing and think about my mental health. Prioritizing yourself, even occasionally, is a step in the right direction. I hope this helped!
June 27th, 2020 2:52pm
Well, it really depends on how you perceive the idea of “I take care of myself”. Some people think that “take of myself” means being beautiful, sexy by buying new clothes and makeup, other people think that by ignoring other peoples’ needs and satisfy their own, they are taking good care of themselves. For other people this “task” or “behavior” or “habit” of taking care of themselves means: «do things that make me smile», «surround myself with sane and caring people», «decide for myself and don’t allow others to decide for me» and many more. Of course taking care of yourself includes behaviors that are both physical and mental. Maybe taking care of yourself doesn’t come naturally to you because you focus on things you don’t really need such as makeup or vice versa. Try to figure out what YOU want for YOU. The answer is within you! Good luck :)
June 27th, 2020 5:24pm
Maybe it's because we don't love ourselves in the first place. We keep looking on others' wellbeing and trying to control our futures instead. We never learned how to take care of ourselves. We somehow never learned that we have to take care of ourselves too in order to pour others. Somehow we never knew that we matter. But whoever is struggling thinking if they matter, I want to let them know that you matter. You must be a soul who tries the best for others, who is contantly looking for a more comfortable future. Remember you can't pour from an empty cup. It would be great if you could take step for taking care of yourself. Wish your all the best.
July 12th, 2020 9:02am
Taking care of ourselves - emotionally, physically, mentally - is something that many of us struggle with. At times, it may be connected to a phase in our lives where we may be under stress and don't feel we have the time, or energy, to take care of ourselves. Other times, it can be a learned behaviour (or lack thereof). Either we don't have an example of self-care in our close circle - family, friends, or, perhaps, at times we may have been raised or influenced by those around us that perhaps we don't deserve to be cared for. This can lead to quite a negative impact if we don't make the effort to correct this. It isn't self centred, or selfish, to take care of ourselves, although at times in society it can be cast as such. It is highly important to our quality of life, to take care of ourselves. If this doesn't come naturally to you, you can take steps to learn positive self care behaviour and practice it daily to set a habit that you can work to ingrain in your life.
July 29th, 2020 2:01am
I find that taking care of yourself is one of those lessons that come with adulthood. Growing up, most people usually have a support system that care of them. So most people don't have to worry about taking care of themselves until they move out. I remember when I moved out that I had to meal prep, which is a lot of work. I realized that I have so much more respect for my parents for feeding me because coming up with different meal options is a lot. So it makes sense that taking care of yourself doesn't come naturally, because it is something we all have to learn.
August 1st, 2020 5:25pm
There can be so many reasons behind this you must be seeing taking care of yourself as something which is an act of selfishness when it's actually not. You must be feeling as if the things that the other person is going through are more tragic than what you are going through when in reality everything you feel is valid and it's always a good idea to reach out for help❤️ So try to think of reasons as to why you personally don't feel like considering taking care of yourself. You can maybe write them down and also consider talking to someone about it this might help you to analyse things in a better way🙃
August 5th, 2020 2:19pm
Taking care of myself never comes naturally to me because i’ve never been my first priority. due to pressure, my first priority was always my education. however, i am working on taking care of myself and fixing my sleep schedule. i am also working on eating healthy. i always find myself lacking time due to my busy schedule. fixing a schedule helps me sort out my day and have things to do on an hourly basis. in this way, i find myself less distracted by my phone and i also work in a productive manner. i hope i can keep doing this and be mentally healthy.