Why is therapy not helping me?
Last Updated: 08/11/2015 at 4:50am
Tracy-Kate Teleke, PsyD, M.A., LMFT
Marriage & Family Therapist
I assist adults and couples in CA experiencing relationship challenges and interpersonal struggles including anxiety, depression, and a myriad of other life challenges.
Top Rated Answers
It maybe that you aren't allowing yourself to be helped. In order to "change" or feel better, we must acknowledge that we have problems and thats okay. Accept it and accept yourself.
Therapy is not helping you for a few reasons, you have a bad therapist, you don't connect well with your therapist, they have no idea what they are doing etc. OR you don't believe you can or will get better, you aren't committed to healing in therapy. Either way. If you want to heal, you have to believe you can heal, everything else is secondary. In the end, it's all you.
Therapy isn't one-size-fits-all. I can't tell you the reason without knowing your situation, but it could mean that you need a new therapist. You should evaluate how you feel about your therapist and whether the connection is there or if they're truly helping. If they are, it could be your own cooperation. It's best to remind yourself that therapy isn't going to be easy, and sometimes you'll reach stagnant spots, and sometimes you'll fall. It's okay either way, just think carefully about it. I wish you the best.
Part of the reason could be that you lack a connection with your therapist, or maybe you aren't allowing yourself to really open up and talk about the raw feelings you're having. If a client wants therapy to work, they have to be willing to open up and work on some goals with the therapist. If you believe you're doing all of this, it wouldn't hurt to try a new therapist until you find one who you connect with. Sometimes that's all it takes!
There could be many reasons. The therapist you choose might not be the best one for you. The method the therapist is using is not the best one for helping your problem. Perhaps you as the client is not ready to make the changes that the therapist advises.
There can be many reasons for this. Perhaps you and your therapist don't click entirely, and that's okay! I know folks who have gone up to fifteen years to find a therapist that they managed to feel comfortable enough with to make progress! Maybe you are making progress and you just can't see it yet? I know, that when I started going to therapy, I felt like I wasn't making any progress at all and was only paying to have a friend but now, four years later, I can see the leaps and bounds I have made as a person. There are many reasons you may feel therapy isn't working right now. Perhaps this may be something to talk with your therapist about. If it is that you two don't mesh, than they can help refer you to someone who might be a better fit.
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