How do I cope with loosing my brother after he passed away over a year ago?
Last Updated: 11/16/2015 at 8:09am
Jennifer Geib, LCSWR
Clinical Social Work/Therapist
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Top Rated Answers
Losing someone close to you normally takes a 2 year cycle for your mind to process ! Keeping him alive in your heart and by sharing good memories and talking about him still keeps his spirit and the joy he shared alive !
Loosing a sibling is devastating and grief is a journey that can feel like a never ending rollercoaster - it takes time but hopefully you can focus on the good memories and happy times you shared and remember your brother with a smile
Grief is different for every person. Some people may seem like they're doing fine, while others are still very broken. Even those who seem like they're fine may be seriously struggling. Some people choose to see a professional and some choose to keep it in the family or even to themselves. New hobbies (I personally paint) can also help. Just do what you love to do, and eventually you won't feel so much pain.
I myself has lost a brother about 3 years back and it is not easy. It would be of so much help if you get support and understanding from friends and family. There's sometimes a lot of unanswered questions and anger and confusion and discussing these feelings can be beneficial. The most important part and also the most difficult part is to accept the passing. Most times people try and hide the memories of a loved one that has passed because it hurts to remember. It hurts to talk about the person. But the more you talk about it and the more you remember the easier it will get. But unfortunately, like always, it's time that heals. Never force yourself in trying to get over it cause everyone has their own time in deal with things. Counseling might be a good idea and try not to isolate yourself from friends or family cause you will be needing them just as much as they will be needing you.
I'm very sorry for your loss dear. How you cope is first by being around supportive people, and not listening to people who are harsh and unsupportive, that's a HUGE one. Next you just need to give yourself time and freedom to feel what you feel, sad, angry, upset, hurt. When dealing with grief, it's all about letting our pain breathe and be open to heal, the worst thing we can do is confine or bottle our emotions, avoid that at all costs.
There is no right/wrong way to grieve/ time limit. Only you will be able to forge a path, others friends/relatives will be there for you,some may give well intentioned guidance but ultimately up to you to listen/take action. You can cry/scream do anything that would help to express emtione/thoughts/feelings. Write a letter, if have unfinished business. For your eyes only. Write a. Journal. Look at photos/memories of him good/bad. He will always be with you in your heart.
All you can do is just be. There is no right way with dealing with emotions. If you cry, let yourself. If you get mad, let yourself. As long as you try your best to pull yourself out of the lows, you will be fine. Do your best not to drag anyone down with you though. Keep expressing yourself and always remember, you do not have to "get over it". He is your brother, no one with a real heart would get passed something so devastating as losing someone so dear immediately. So for now, just be and try smile as much as possible. You are living, so try to on his behalf.
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