How should I help a friend (or a lover) who is dealing with parent loss?
Last Updated: 11/02/2021 at 11:08pm
Amy Justice, BS, MA, LCMHC
Licensed Professional Counselor
My passion is to help people overcome feeling "stuck" in unhealthy patterns by facilitating real, healthy changes through self-discovery and practical applications.
Top Rated Answers
Just be there, sometimes just your presence is enough and no big words are needed. Even if they want to isolate themselves from everything, let them know that no matter what you'll always be there for them. Don't try to get them out of their grief or tell them to cheer up. Don't compare their pain with anything else. People have different ways to deal with loss, you can even ask them what can you do to help or what would they want you to do. Let them heal at their own pace. People suffering with loss becomes very sensitive and even the slightest misuse of words can cause much pain to them. Tell them it's okay to feel the way the feel.
I really think it's the thought and consideration that counts most. Assure them that you will support them unconditionally. Whatever they need you will be there for them and that its okay to feel however they need to feel at any given moment. If this loss causes other stresses in their life, offering to do what you can to make things more manageable for them would be something the person will look back on and appreciate.
Show them you can stand by their side and all the intense emotions, mood-swings, anger, and every bit of the intense that goes along with losing a parent. Depending on the relationship of the child and the parent\parents who passed away. It gets tough because I am someone's friend and lover who actually lost my mother, my absolute bestfriend in life after deciding to pull the plug on her. I don't remember a lot of my life after my mom took her last breath with me by her side, it's a bad blur. If it wasn't for the friend's and my fiancé standing by every bit of darkness that came over me after. We just need to know that we have someone\people who care and are there for us as we grieve.
Making sure that they're not lonely and telling them that even if they're not there anymore, life will continue without them. Their space will never be fulfilled but time will teach you how to live with that. Just be strong. They wouldn't want you to lose yourself because they're no longer by your side.
Losing anyone is difficult, but losing a parent is like losing a part of yourself. In order to help someone over this loss it requires patience, kindness, warmth, compassion among others. I am approaching the situation myself, as my parents are in their 50s and 60s. I would also be more than happy to help with anyone dealing with this issue. Much love and care.
There is not much you can do, other than just offer your shoulder for them to cry on. Seeing as you are not a direct part of their family, they may need time either alone or with relatives to cope with this, although the outside help of a friend to cheer them up or to rant or cry to is always a good help :)
Just be there for them remind them they aren’t alone.
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