Skip to main content Skip to bottom nav

Actually I spent most of my life trying to determine my sexuality, Did you face the same phase?

24 Answers
Last Updated: 10/21/2019 at 11:44pm
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
Moderated by

Evelyn Coker, MSW, LCSW

Clinical Social Work/Therapist

I am down to earth and enjoy working with all clients. I have a special passion to support teen girls and women. My work is nonjudgmental and provides a safe space to grow.

Top Rated Answers
February 23rd, 2015 6:03am
Yes... I'm still trying to determine my sexuality, actually! I've yet to be in an official relationship and have never really been sure of how I feel about different genders.
February 25th, 2015 9:34pm
I did, It took me seventeen years to admit to myself what I really wanted and who I was. It took a lot of thinking and searching within myself, but it feels really good once you figure everything out and admit it.
April 4th, 2015 11:42pm
Yeah, for a while. Then i realised I didnt felt the need to label myself to be happy. Some people do, and thats okay. But I dont so I was like "Why am I wasting my time with something other people pressure me to think about?". Basically, if you feel okay not being sure --whatever, go and like whoever you want to!
- Expert in LGBTQ+
October 21st, 2019 11:44pm
It's very common to have a long questioning phase and a hard time finding out one's own identity. That may be due to many reasons, and there's nothing wrong with that, it's normal that it can be a long and complex process! One thing that really helps is to get as much information as possible about the different sexualities, and another great help is to get support from trustworthy people: supportive family members and friends, but above people that are expert about it, such as the LGBT community or a therapist.
May 3rd, 2015 2:12pm
I know I did. A turning point for me was when I decided that I don't have to label my sexuality to be okay with it.
May 17th, 2015 11:58pm
Oh yeah totes, I would lie in bed at night wrestling with the possibility of my not-straightness. Its natural, trust me
May 30th, 2015 8:32pm
I have always felt like I was and been comfortable being heterosexual. However, I feel like everyones experience is slightly different in regards to sexuality and that everyone should know that having a different experience does not reflect on an individual person in any way.
June 22nd, 2015 2:10pm
I dont think its important to know which sexuality you are,just be yourself and love who you love! :) - and btw i dont really care about my sexuality and i think it can change everytime! :)
July 27th, 2015 10:08pm
I struggled with my sexuality in my earlier life, it turns out I was actually struggling with gender identity but couldn't put it in words, as soon as I began to accept my gender identity, my sexuality became very clear.
August 3rd, 2015 7:27pm
yes most of us need to explore to see what sexuality you are it is not determined in what others want you to be its what you are comfortable with
September 14th, 2015 1:54pm
Young people often times start trying to figure their sexuality out at a young age and it goes through their teens. As the body is developing, the hormones and mind make everything confusing and difficult to believe, therefore a person struggles to figure out what it is that they are attracted to.
November 17th, 2015 1:53am
Sexuality is fluid; one phase of your life, you may identify as bisexual and five years later you may identify as straight. This does not invalidate your sexuality, it just means you have changed. As for facing this phase, everyone does I believe and I am no exception. I currently identify as Asexual but three years ago I identified as Bisexual. I try not to let labels define me, and neither should you. It may seem easy to say, but don't allow the label of sexuality define you, it took me years to finally take that to heart.
February 8th, 2016 7:05pm
Yep, I have. It can be really hard to pin down what your sexuality is. Sexuality is fluid and it can change. One label can feel right for a while and then maybe you feel better under a different one. Or no label! And it's perfectly okay to not quite know what your sexuality is. If you feel better under a label, try an umbrella term and see how it fits with you.
February 16th, 2016 5:39am
I'm only 16 but I have spend a big portion to my life trying to understand my sexuality. I assumed I was strait and then when I was about twelve, I started realizing I find girls attractive ...the way a strait girl would find guys attractive? And then I realized I was attracted to both guys and girls sexually and then things just got gayer and gayer. Now my life is a rainbow.
March 21st, 2016 8:20am
I have no idea what my sexuality is. I definitely had/ am having this phase. It's not a bad thing, and I think as you go through life you'll slowly find out more and more about where you sit on the spectrum.
March 21st, 2016 3:59pm
Yes I did I was always wondering if I was Pan Bi or homosexual, I realized that it doesnt matter as long as you, love loving someone and love being who you are.
December 20th, 2016 3:09pm
Yes, I still am not 100% sure on my sexuality. But I go by bisexual since it's easier to explain. I struggled a lot with coming to terms with the fact I like girls, and it still bothers me a lot. But with time I will become more comfortable.
May 29th, 2017 1:22am
I personally did not, although it did take me 4 years. I do know people for whom it took much longer, 18-20 years, and know of perplexed who took even longer. No matter how long it takes, you're still valid. Scientifically speaking, sexuality is fluid, so even if you were put attracted to a gender for 40 years, you could develops that attraction later on, and it's far from unheard of.
July 18th, 2017 6:29pm
Sexuality is something you define yourself with. You can choose to be someone you want to be. Dont let anyone stop you from doing that. I've been straight always.
July 25th, 2017 6:27pm
Everyone faces these issues differently. Some people know from a young age and some embrace it at a older age. There is no need for a label or anything like that. Take your time accept who you are and love yourself everything will fall in to place.
September 5th, 2017 1:13am
I still am discovering and learning what my sexuality is and what it means to me. I believe sexuality can be fluid for some people where it may change, I think we never stop discovering more about ourselves, what we desire and what we are attracted to.
November 7th, 2017 4:28am
I did for years...I still am to this day....I would really like to know what causes it because it definitely wasn’t by choice for me p
December 5th, 2017 4:03pm
I understand you completely. From a young age I've wondered if whether or not I was bisexual. I read a lot about it and tried figuring it out, and I decided for myself I was.
September 11th, 2018 9:25pm
I am stI'll very young but I had a suspicion of being gay or bi when I was as young as primary 2 so that's about 6 years old and I'm still trying to fully figure it out you'll get there in your own time. I was asked out by a girl tonight and I agreed to try, I hope this will make it clearer for me and if you do the same thing it will help you identify your own sexuality. Another way to figure it out is picture yourself kissing the same gender then the opposite and see what you prefer in your imagination
Talk to an expert therapist about LGBTQ+ issues
Hope is an amazing therapist, she's very experienced and listens to my answers and thinks about it carefully before responding. They're worded in a way that helps the person she's assisting reflect and be proactive!
Reviewed Jun 12, 2021
Seek Extra Support from the Community
LGBTQ+ / MOGII Support

Read more about LGBTQ+ in our LGBTQ+ Forums