Are you born gay or is it society which makes a person gay?

That's a very tricky question. I myself am a part of the community so it is very difficult for me to answer without taking my experience into account. I said tricky, because I have an idea but I never researched academically the matter so I'll answer as I feel. When I came out, my dad felt really guilty at first. For many years he had a relationship with a woman that wasn't my mother, he told me he was afraid that was the reason, he was afraid that it was somehow his fault. He love my fiancé now, she loves him, we're a family, he never had problems with that, but he strongly believed that my sexual orientation had something to do with the life I had because of what my parents have been through. I think you shouldn't do that, you shouldn't look for the reason why, because love doesn't come from traumas, it's a pure thing.

To be honest, I believe it is a combination of factors. Yes, you may be born with a different type of brain, but that is not necessarily destiny. Brain function does play a role since there are people who have had changes in orientation or frequency of sex after brain injuries and surgeries. While people are born with the need for sex, they are not particularly born for a specific type of sex. For instance, everyone is born to eat, but they are not born to eat specific foods. So culture determines what food you are exposed to, and plays a role in what becomes your favorite food. If you've never been exposed to eating human flesh or drinking cow's blood, particularly while young, you likely wouldn't enjoy eating them. I do believe that society does play a role in sexual orientation. For instance, as controversial as this may sound, sexual assault can play a role in becoming gay. Sexual assault traumatizes a person and can destroy a person's natural defenses and boundaries. Also, upheaval in the family that occurs before age 5 can also play a role. When you are attached to bother parents and they divorce, it can take a toll and the child becomes more like one parent or the other, regardless of the parent's gender. However, this might only contribute to the subset of gayness and not to gayness itself. For instance, if they side with their mother after a divorce, the boy may become more effeminate and mimic his mother to get her approval and keep her love, and maybe he is obviously and openly gay from an early age. If he sides with his father, he may become super-macho and bury his feelings. He may become homophobic, but come out as gay later in life. Then having a parent and others bully you by calling you gay long enough and harass you for that may create a self-fulfilling prophecy. Ironically, there are more gay-related suicides in places where gay sex and gay marriage are legal, and gayness is fully accepted. As politically incorrect as this sounds, I believe a lot of gayness comes from emotional immaturity. While other kids have a firm sense of self and some maturity before puberty, a lot of gay folks are stunted by this age. I know a gay man who had to have constant sex to feel good about himself. That shows me that his family likely didn't have healthy boundaries or teach him to sufficiently delay his gratification. Plus with the way he tried to put his nose in others' business and try to nurture/coddle others, that showed me that he likely had a domineering mother who didn't sufficiently support him and his growth as a person. So a lot of times, gay folks lack self-esteem, assertiveness skills, and basic life skills. So they don't feel like a man and need a man to take care of them as they needed in a father. However, they can never scratch the itch that needs to be scratched since the "hole" is inside of them, not in society. They have to at some point get therapy to fully accept themselves and come to terms with what they didn't have while they were growing up. However, this likely won't change their orientation, only make them more mature and reduce their need for sex to shore up what is missing inside them. I also do believe that sexual orientation change therapy works in select persons and should be anyone's right. If a teen girl can legally have sex or get an abortion without her parent's consent, then any teen should have access to sexual orientation therapy, assuming it is not coerced and no torture, rape, electroshock, or other violence is used. As for evidence of efficacy, I observe that this sort of therapy generally only helps about 1/2 of a step. So a gay man may end up having less sex and ultimately identify as a bisexual, while a bisexual with this therapy may fully function as heterosexual. Ironically, lesbians show more evidence of brain differences than gay men, but gay men are more likely to claim that they were born gay. More lesbians are likely to admit to choosing to be lesbians or becoming more attracted to women after abusive relationships with men. So orientation is not as simple as many think regardless of view. Plus most miss the notion that something not being inborn doesn't automatically mean it is a choice. You do not choose sexual assault, what parents you have, or any bullying you receive. You don't choose the culture around you either. So regardless of how someone becomes gay, they always deserve dignity and respect.

There are a ton of studies that are coming out right now that actually are pointing to the possibility of a "gay gene". If that turns out to be the case, it would be biological, you would be born this way. Any gay person, including myself, would tell you that society can't make you gay. We have to be born this way. What our bodies crave and what our hearts desire is not something we can control. There is absolutely nothing wrong with being gay. It's okay to question your sexuality and your gender identity. There is nothing wrong with you.

Although they haven't discovered a gay gene it's possible that there is one however it's more likely that a mix of genetic and social contributors affect a person's sexual orientation

Considering the studies on the brain matter of gay people, considering things like fraternal order influencing the likelihood of being gay, considering the fact "reparative" therapy has been found to be only harmful I'm going to say: the former. I'm also fairly sure any proposed pathways for society to influence orientation will at best be not distinguishable from random happenstance, especially considering the pervasive heteronormativity and the still huge push/assumption of most parents/caretakers for heterosexuality.

That depends on personal belief. There are arguments for and against each statement, but neither has solid proof. I would suggest doing some research and deciding what you believe in

People are born gay. I can say as a queer individual (I identify as bisexual) that I was born this way. I also must say though that the people around me have somewhat influenced my ability to live the way I am. However, I've known people that many people wish would be gay, and still are not no matter how many people express this desire. It is not possible to turn someone gay. I think it is possible for some people to become gay because of their circumstances, however, the majority of gay people would be that way regardless of their circumstances and are therefore born that way.

You are born gay. That is mostly just looking at sciency things, which is somewhat complicated, so I will just summarise it. Basically you get more genes from your mother, especially if you have other brothers. It's also just how your hormones work. In my case I am very like my mother, I used to look exactly like her, only the male version, now I look a little more different from her. Also I just like most of the things that she likes, for example designing and artsy stuff and also like guys. Also I have a brother that is older than me, so that is also partly in my case.