Can I be attracted to a gender but not in a sexual way? Like I want to be with them but not have sex with them?

43 Answers
Last Updated: 07/17/2018 at 9:14pm
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Top Rated Answers
Anonymous
January 11th, 2015 3:19am
Yes, there are differenttypes of attraction besides sexual attraction. It is very possible you might be experiencing one of those other attractions towards that gender. Some other attractions you can experience are: romantic attraction (wanting to do romantic things with them), aestethic attraction (appreciating the way they look as you would admire a sunset), sensual attraction (more related to your senses, like cuddling and touching)...A great and simply way an awesome listener called Erynn showed me to visualized this attractions is through a drawing made by a tumblr user (here: http://secondlina.tumblr.com/post/21955456091/a-comic-about-the-different-types-of-attraction ).
Anonymous
June 23rd, 2015 10:52am
yeah, thats what happen when we make friends. we want to be with them but not make out with them. but sometimes we emotionally attach our self with this person so much that we want to spend our lives with them, want them closer to us and get emotially attach to them.......not physically.....
lovecathy
April 26th, 2015 6:32pm
Yes, of course you can. A common misconception is that there are things you can't feel when it comes to your sexual orientation or your relationships with others. Asexuality, for example, does not mean an absence of romantic interest in others, just the absence of a sexual one. Of course you can also like one gender sexually and the other romantically, or both romantically and only one sexually, and so on. The list is long.
Anonymous
April 16th, 2015 3:04pm
Yep! some people don't experience sexual attraction and a label for that is Asexual. Now, Sexual attraction and Romantic attraction are two separate things (not many people realise this) There are endless combinations of this people can be asexual and homo-romantic, Bisexual and Aromantic (aromantic is not feeling romantic attraction), graysexual and heteromantic...the list goes on.
LucidRain
June 22nd, 2015 3:54am
This is perfectly normal. Romantic and sexual orientations can be seperate. It is definitely possible for someone to be romantically attracted to a gender they are not sexually attracted to.
Anonymous
December 22nd, 2015 9:53pm
Yes, and these feelings may change as you develop relationships with individuals within that gender. You love a person, not their gender segregation, and this love will more than likely develop into a sexual love. It's like saying you don't like all chocolate because you're not keen on Turkish delight, you know?
AllTheCucumbers
February 16th, 2015 12:02am
Of course. This is called asexuality, but some asexual people are still interested in developing romantic relationships with other. Asexuality is completely normal and healthy variant of human sexuality. As any other sexual orientation, it cannot and does not need to be changed. If you'd like to know more, this site may help: http://www.asexuality.org/home/
PhoenixMozza
May 8th, 2015 1:03pm
there are different types of attraction, to list a few: sexual attraction, romantic attraction, aesthetic attraction and sensual attraction. Sexual is when you feel attracted to someone in a sexual way, and romantic when you feel attracted in a romantic way, and while these two types of attraction come together a lot of the time, some times they don't. Aesthetic attraction is when you're attracted to someone's looks but not necessarily in a sexual way, and sensual attraction has to do with the senses (wanting to touch, smell, see, etc a person)... so yes, you can
Anonymous
April 26th, 2015 3:24pm
Yep, that's romantic love. It's lot like what you descibed, wanting a relationship but not necessarily for the sex or because of physical attraction. There's sexual and romantic love, and we can feel them exclusively for no gender, one, or multiple. We can also experience them separately, eg. Liking women but wanting to get into a guy's pants. There more online if you're curious. Good luck with any and all of your relationships.
Mac21
May 3rd, 2015 2:21pm
Definitely! Some people are attracted to people in a romantic way but not a sexual way and that's normal for them! It doesn't mean that you're strange or weird or anything like that!
novastardust
February 27th, 2018 11:23pm
Absolutely! This would be classified as romantic attraction. People sometimes find it helpful to identify with a romantic orientation label that's different from the one they use for their sexuality (ex: biromantic asexual). You might want to look into that if you feel like you're attracted to a gender romantically but not sexually :).
GoldenDragonEyes60
April 30th, 2015 3:25pm
That's a perfectly normal feeling that many people experience in life. It's alright to want closeness with someone without feeling the need for a sexual bond.
usefulPassion85
November 7th, 2016 3:53am
Absolutely. Sexual orientation and romantic orientation are not always the same. For example, you might identify as male, be sexually attracted only to females, but be romantically attracted to all genders. If you want to claim a label for that, you would be a heterosexual, panromantic male in this particular example.
Shadowisnotintresting
November 2nd, 2015 8:10pm
yes you can for example im a panromantic asexual meaning i cam fall in love with people but not in a sexual way
maxh
May 23rd, 2015 7:45am
Yes! Romantic attraction often correlates with sexual attraction, but not always. The genders one feels sexually attracted to sometimes have no overlap with the genders one feels romantically attracted to.
trisjlistens
July 28th, 2015 6:16am
Yes, of course that's perfectly fine. And I also think that is a good kind of attraction for you are using your heart and not your mind or your desires. :)
Anonymous
October 31st, 2015 1:38am
Yes, of course. You could be asexual if you find yourself not having any sexual feeling for anyone, but let's say you are attracted to both females and males, and not sexually but just romantically, you are most likely biromantic
Anonymous
February 1st, 2016 5:27am
Sure, I think we are definitely capable of being attracted to a gender but not in a sexual way. Personally, values like loyalty, creativity and kindness are aspects of a person I find attractive, regardless of gender.
1musicloverever
May 8th, 2017 9:23pm
Of course, there's nothing wrong with not being sexually attracted to someone but still wanting to be with them. I mean, they might not be okay with that and think it's not worth it, or they might be with you. But there's nothing wrong with that, some people are attracted to someone only sexually and not feelings and other wise, but it's all due to that person.
Anonymous
January 13th, 2015 1:28pm
Of course you can! That is called romantic attraction, and is something different from sexual orientation altogether. For example, I identify as an asexual panromantic, which means I don't really want to have sex no matter what, but I'm able to form a romantic relationship with people regardless of gender. As you can see, the two are entirely separate. Hope I helped!
Anonymous
April 12th, 2015 9:28am
Asexual attraction and platonic attraction are very much legitimate and real things. It is perfectly normal and not at all something to frown upon. The best option is to discuss the limits and interests of both involved parties to be sure that everyone is on the same page for their wants and desires in a relationship as emotionally intimate as anything involving the word or concept of "love." Just because it doesn't involve sex or sexual desire does not mean it isn't love, desire, or intimate.
Anonymous
June 30th, 2015 6:59am
Of course you can! Platonic relationships are everywhere, most people would call that friendship though. :)
Anonymous
August 3rd, 2015 1:47pm
Yes! That's probably your romantic orientation, which can be different from your sexual orientation.
Anonymous
August 5th, 2015 2:08pm
Yes! There are several different types of attraction. Sexual attraction, in which you feel you want to partake in sexual activities with a particular person, is just one type, and not everyone experiences it. There's also a romantic version of it, a platonic version (like a friend crush), an aesthetic version (where you really admire someone's appearance), and more. If these terms don't quite explain what you're feeling, there may be other attraction types that explain it better, or maybe it's time to make up a new word! Just remember it's the language that hasn't caught up to you, yet. There's nothing wrong, invalid, or broken about you or how you feel.
Anonymous
October 26th, 2015 10:45pm
That's called romantic attraction. You can experience romantic attraction but not sexual attraction, or the other way around, or both or neither. You can also experience romantic attraction to a different group of people than you experience sexual attraction.
gracefulSunshine62
November 27th, 2015 7:43pm
Yes its entirely possible! Sexual orientation is different than romantic orientation. You can be romantically attracted to a certain gender but not sexually attracted to that same gender. That is a very valid identity :)
PacificSunrise
February 17th, 2016 2:20am
Certainly. We are attracted to certain gender for various reason. One specific example I heard that some people find girls easier to talk to about emotional stuff. Whether it's true or not, it is based on personal preferences. And these preferences come in all sorts.
avvvvvhotpotatojkimnothot
May 17th, 2016 4:06pm
Yes, that is called being asexual, I would know, I'm an asexual too. Asexuals experience romantic emotions but does not have the urge to have sex with them.
Uncallic
January 10th, 2017 4:55am
Yes there is many different kinds of emotions when you are attracted to someone, sexual, emotional and romantic and you can feel like you are attracted to that gender emotionally but wouldn't be comfortable having sex with them.
Anonymous
March 15th, 2016 11:46pm
Yes! There are two forms of attraction that you can use in this case. There is romantic attraction (i.e. Homoromantic: the ROMANTIC attraction to people of the opposite sex) and sexual attraction. In this case you may be asexual and a separate romantic orientation. I recommend googling some romantic orientations to see if any apply to you.