Does everyone secretly despise LGBTs although many openly claim to accept and love it, including LGBT members and allies? Are there really people who see LGBT as of equal worth as heterosexuals?
Last Updated: 12/15/2020 at 10:52pm
Melissa Hudson, MS Ed, PhD(c), LMFT
Marriage & Family Therapist
I work with clients of diverse backgrounds on a multitude of concerns. My approach is, at times, directive, yet always curious, nonjudgmental, collaborative, and validating.
Top Rated Answers
I think that there are absolutely plenty of advocates and allies out there. I myself am the co-leader of my company's GLBTQ employee group. That being said, I think that there is a lot of confusion on both sides of the fence, and many people struggle with the ambiguity of that confusion. I do think you find people in the queer community that feel like some of the more modern definitions of sexual orientation are going a bit overboard. Sometimes it just takes time, though. We saw this happen when the T was added. Some people did not agree that transgender should be included because it's a sexual identity thing rather than an orientation thing. Same thing with Q, since queer can refer to both an orientation and an identity issue. It's a very personal subject that people tend to invest emotion into, so when their understandings and definitions are challenged, it can often seem like they are not accepting or that there is hate... and unfortunately, in some cases, there is judgment. However, more often than not, I think it's just like anything else when it's brand new and unknown. It just takes time for normalcy to kick in. I'm an old kid around here, but believe it or not, the acceptance level in society as well as within the queer community in general has grown in leaps and bounds over the last 1-2 decades. We're in perhaps the adolescent stage of queer acceptance... Soon enough, it'll mature.
There are many people who are educated about the LGBT community but as it becomes more widely accepted. Most people do not despise LGBT persons the more or less are ignorant and unwilling to learn and educate themselves. There are many people who see LGBT persons as equals. And have for many years. As LGBT issues move into the media spot light there are more and more people who are on one side or the other and then there are those who know for sure their stance. I know my answer is vague but I cannot speak for others and how they feel.
Not everyone secretly despises LGBTQ+'s but there will always be someone with different opinions and beliefs than you. I think that everyone should be able to do whatever they want no matter where they are. I used to think that what I believed was the "right" thing and that other people were just stupid. But, that's not the case and everyone has different opinions that we need to respect and not judge them for.
For me everyone is a human even the LGBT members. No one has right to interfere with another person's personal life. Everyone has right to live
define worth ? what makes something worthy or not ? some may think that lgbt relations are not as strong as other or it couldnt be or any number of things but somethings worth is what you ascribe to it .. few people actually hate lgbt people most just think its icky or frivolous
As a heterosexual person, I do not despise LGBT people at all. I believe that all people are equal, including LGBT people, and that those people should have the same rights as anyone else. I have many close friends who identify as LGBT, and I hope that they, and anyone else like them, can have fulfilling and happy lives.
Take heart! In my experience, there are many wonderful queer communities in the world where being LGBT+ is not only tolerated or accepted, but actively celebrated! Things can seem pretty grim, and it's not all in your head. Many queer people do struggle with internalized oppression -- a kind of self-hatred that comes from living a hostile world where, despite your best efforts to love and accept yourself, you cannot help but to repeat to yourself many of the horrible things that are said about you or people with your sexuality, gender identity, or expression. But, like all people, you deserve love and support and I guarantee that there are queer people out there who want to give you both.
You need to understand that people's opinions change as they are forced into situations that open their eyes. Especially when you grow up with other's opinions in the air, you tend to believe them as a child. For example a child who grows up in a strict family that tells them that gays are going to burn in hell will start to believe it. However when faced in a challenging situation in a diverse community the person may rely on their past experiences or they might change in the situation and open their eyes a bit more. Of course opening and expanding someone's horizons takes a while, so they won't change right away. Some might secretly despise and claim to accept it because of where they live-if you live in a diverse community it is easier to say that you support everyone so that people leave you alone. but by extension you can't say that everyone hates you. Everyone can't hate you, there's at least one person who likes you, so it can't be everyone. By extension there are people whose experiences have changed them, and we see LGBT people at the start as equal worth, or through continuously opinion challenging events they start to see them as equal worth. And some people, such as myself, see people as people, and understand that you might be different in one aspect but literally don't care-we just see you as a human, and as long as you're not being an asshole towards myself or my friends, then you're a wonderful human being and should be treated as such.
A lot of people see LGBT as equals to heterosexuals. There are shelters specifically for homeless LGBT teens and tons of other help involving heterosexuals as the ones providing and trying to care for the community.
Yes, there are! Obviously! First of all, if even LGBT+ people didn't see themselves as equals to heterosexuals, they probably wouldn't have created all these support communities, prides, protestations, etc. Apart fom that, a big majority of allies do see LGBT+ people as people of equal worth. If they don't, they aren't allies. Finally, some people dont consider themselves as allies, or don't know what it is, but are still open-minded and accepting about LGBT+ people. They do think of LGBT+ as people of equal worth, they just don't act up on their beliefs. Stay positive, people aren't as bad as you think!
No of course not! There will always be people who will not understand but ultimately there are many people who understand that we are no different to those not in the LGBT community and just as worthy in every possible way.
I think many people just don’t understand LGBT people, so they tend to feel uncomfortable around them, but yes! Many people out there see LGBT individuals as heterosexuals, like me, I see us as equal as everyone else!
No, not everyone hates the LBGTQ+'. I am currently in a "lesbian" relationship as a bisexual agender person. My gender assigned at birth was female and most people know me as a female so sometimes they say that and I don't mind.
There will definately be people like that, but not everyone. Take me for example. I don't despise anyone who is part of the LGBT community, I can't because I'm part of it, but being relgious means that I don't believe in same sex relationships.
Based on my own experience, there are both kinds of people. The ones who hate the LGBTQ community are mostly blinded by hate that originates from religious ideologies or from their family. Luckily there are an equally large number of people who genuinely like this beautiful cimmunity. I haven't personally met anyone who claims to like the community but actually doesn't, so I cannot comment on that.
No, I am apart of the lgbt community, I am very supportive of everyone and what’s they chose, I don’t despise anyone.
Yes, there are people who treat LGBT equally and at the same time there are people who despise LGBT. If there is a love, then there is a hate just like good and bad exist. To be honest, I am part of that community and some of my friends have found out my identity and they treat me equally just like others without any discrimination. Maybe some claimed that they love and accept LGBT but they actually hate it and that is okay. Don't ever feel judged by them. Ignore those who don't accept you and find someone who truly embrace you in your life. It is not necessary to waste your time and energy on those who don't accept who you are. Let them be and live your life ! You are who you are and that is perfectly normal. We are not alone and what we need is support and love from each other and that is what important. :)
Yes there are. When i was around 10 before i found my own sexuality i had LGBTQ+ friends and i never saw them different. I saw them as normal people and loved them like i would to any heterosexual
There are real people support the LGBT group, and think of them as an equal. I am one of them. I am openly lesbian, and support the LGBT community with all my heart. I feel like everyone should be equal and no matter what their sexual preference is. You shouldn't be treated differently because you are not straight. It's part of you that you can not change once you figure it out. People should just love and accept it. Treat it as something that's normal and equal.
I can only speak for the society I live in. Western society is culturally very heteronormative, this has yet to be addressed in any significant way. Although it is culturally unacceptable to be outright abusive of the LGBTQIA+ community, there forever exists and undercurrent, largely promoted by a religious agenda, that condemns silently. Or not so silently in the case of certain countries governmental agendas. All around us we see so many constant reminders of the heteronormative way of life that we become blind to it. What exists of the LGBTQIA+ community, in media, is heavily stereotyped. In many cases for laughs. The LGBTQIA+ community is vibrant with a plethora of beautiful beings, of all shapes, sizes, genders, races, creeds and identities. Until this is widely understood and accepted, there will always exist a double standard.
Yes, there are many people who accept LGBT as equal. Unfortunately there will always be those who don't, but that can't be helped. We can't change people's opinions, they have to do that on their own.
Everyone has different views. This post is not to choose any position on the issue, but there are people who do accept lgbt. I am sure of it, because there are people who dedicate their lives to fighting for equality, and something so drastic would not be done if they were not certain.
I find this question extremely relevant. I have been studying the concept of 'silence' recently due to my experiences with heterosexual acquaintances claiming that they are pro-alternative sexualities, yet they fall completely silent when certain topics come up. Such as when relationships are openly discussed and silence falls over everyone the moment that same-sex relationships come up, or how topics of discussion are suddenly changed the moment alternative sexuality scenarios are brought up by someone. Not to mention the facaded, and perhaps unintended meaning, behind 'I love gays, I accept them fully'. People believe that homophobia lies in words and actions unto other, whereas the bias can most clearly be expressed within silence as well. I think the bias lies deeply rooted in the majority of people, even for those who believe they are accepting and open, there are still hurdles of acceptance to overcome.
No, not everyone. I think there are probably some people out there that pretend, but there are people who are positive and accepting. So, yes, there are people who see LGBT as equal worth as heterosexuals, including myself.
No. Trust me, I've had similar thoughts, but now there is no doubt in my mind that my friends (and others) see me to be of equal worth as them. Everyone has people supporting them. LGBT+ people are no exception to that.
I think many people are in denial of who they are. They may have been taught that LGBTs are sinners but deep down they have sexuality issues that haven't been resolved yet. Thoughts about people of the same sex are natural. I think if people were honest about who they are and have discussions about sexuality with an open mind, I think we'll see that everybody is of equal value. There's nothing wrong with being true to who you are. The ones that might look down on you or judge you aren't in your body or have your mind or heart. You know what's going with you better than the people that look down on you. Stay strong and hopeful.
I love people in the LGBT community, I am a person in the LGBT community and I've never found more love and acceptance than I have there. There's good people and bad people everywhere, but we all deserve respect.
I may be extraordinarily lucky, but as a queer woman, I have found a lot of acceptance from friends and coworkers. Most of my closest friends are also a part of the LGBT community, though, so of course they see themselves as equally worthy. If nothing else, LGBT folks will usually gain this kind of acceptance from members of their own community, even if the greater community does not. That being said, I do believe there are true allies to the community who love and support LGBT individuals.
It boils down to not fully letting go of old beliefs and fear of those who are different. Since the LGBT community is more accepted in the mainstream, people don't always want to openly say they don't like them, because it isn't popular to say that. It's safer for them to say they are, but less safe for us. There are truly people out there who see us as equal as heterosexuals, but they may not be as loud. Unlearning prejudices can take time, and some aren't willing to take the time. Empty words with no action. As for LGBT members disliking the community, that can either be disliking prejudices in the community or just a variation of those who can accept themselves but not people who aren't like them. Human nature sucks, basically. But there are truly people who do find us equals though. Diamonds in the rough.
There might be a degree of self loathing in some people who are members of the LGBT community, but mostly because it's been ingrained in some of them that how they feel and naturally are is wrong. But, I don't think this necessarily applies to everyone, as there are confident members of the community as well. As for the supporters, I do not think they would have any motivation to support the community if they truly despised it. Before it became more accepted (not that it completely is), there'd be no reason to speak up since there'd be little to no peer pressure telling you to support this community, unless you genuinely supported that cause.
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