Hi Kovu. First of all, if you identify and define yourself as a boy, then you're one. Simple as that.
There is no good or bad way to come out to friends and family.
It's totally normal to be afraid, since we never know how our loved ones can react, and we fear we could lose them (and, worse : that it would be our fault if that happens..which it isn't! At all!).
To come out though, you would need several things :
- be ready and prepared to do so : it can be easier to come out if you've come to term with it first, but really there is no rule.
- be safe / feel secured. By that, I mean be assured you're not putting your life and/or integrity in danger by doing so. For instance, it can mean that you would need to come out first to someone you really trust, in a public place, with someone who could support you if things turn out badly etc.
To give you an personal example, I first came out to a friend that helped me put words on my feelings, then to my sisters by online text messaging, then to my parents by letter (I gave them hand to hand, then let them read it and went to talk about it with them, while my sisters were checking on us how it was turning out and to intervene if my parents were to react in a violent way (which didn't happened, fortunately). Then I asked my parents to tell my brother, because I wasn't feeling like doing it, I was too afraid it would be too violent for me to handle it.
- do it when YOU decide to, the way that feels best for you.
- make sure you've thinked about it seriously beforehand, to be sure you know where you're going, that it's not something coming out of nowhere, an impulsive decision to transition etc. Your family could think you're not informed enough, and that you don't know what it really means for your life. Thinking all of that through will help you know yourself better, and be more prepared to the arguments that your friends and family will surely come with... :/
I'd say by experience that it could be best not to go too specific. Big lines are that :
-> it won't change who you are
-> it's something that's right for you and ought to allow you to feel better
-> (if you think about taking hormons) that it will go slow and that you'll have follow ups
-> it's not a sickness / trouble / mental issue or anything like that. It's more common than people think.
-> it doesn't mean you won't be able to find love, have a job, or be happy and socially inserted.
I must forget some things.. If you want to talk and explore things more in detail, feel free to contact me, I'll be glad to help anyone struggling with all of that. It's always easier when we're not alone on our own dealing with all our questions and all^^