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How can I be a good ally to the LGBTQ+ community?

28 Answers
Last Updated: 11/16/2020 at 8:09am
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
Moderated by

Jessica McDaniel, LPC, LCPC

Licensed Professional Counselor

I have been practicing cognitive behavioral psychotherapy since 2007 with a diverse group of adult clients with various diagnoses, all races, and socioeconomic classes.

Top Rated Answers
Anonymous
January 31st, 2015 12:05am
1. Learn About the Diversity of Gender and Sexuality A strong ally understands that not all LGBT people express themselves in the same way and is invested in understanding the wide range of identities and experiences that comprise the LGBT community. 2. Don’t Make Assumptions Since there are countless ways to express one’s gender and sexuality, it’s not a good idea to assume that you have someone’s identity “figured out,” unless they’ve discussed it with you 3. Stand Up to Homophobia and Transphobia—Especially When It Isn’t Easy Speak out against statements and jokes that are disrespectful to LGBT people. It’s sometimes hard to challenge friends and family, but letting others know that you find intolerance unacceptable can be effective in changing attitudes. 4. Get Involved with LGBT Members of Your Local Community Many towns, schools, and religious communities have LGBT-friendly groups where you can meet and learn more about LGBT people. These groups often host public events to advocate for LGBT causes or otherwise empower the community and its allies. Ask an LGBT friend if they are a member of a group and see if you can tag along! Joining these events can be fun, educational, and exciting for all involved. 5Be Open If there’s one thing we know about the LGBT community, it’s that we’re a highly dynamic and diverse medley of identities and experiences. That means the terms we use to describe ourselves and the causes that rise up and gain the most national momentum vary and shift. Keeping an open mind and remaining flexible in the face of change is central to being a good ally, whether you identify as LGBT or not. These are just a few. Good Luck!
SimplyBeing
June 28th, 2016 8:31am
In my experience I have most grateful to my allies that have taken the time to ask what they could do. You are already doing one of the most helpful things. The act of asking acknowledges the person in front of you. One of my meditation teachers told me his most important practice was to say to himself, "the person in front of me is important and their happiness matters" before he spoke with another person. Focusing on compassion and kindness makes you an amazing ally to everyone.
RaCat
September 5th, 2016 8:01pm
The best way to support LGBTQ+ community is to treat them normally. Just remember that sexuality or gender identify don't define any of us and we are still the same people so just act with LGBTQ+ person the same as you are acting with others. For me it would be the best, don't make a big deal on my sexuality and I think there is a lot of people from LGBTQ+ community who would agree with me!
Anonymous
October 25th, 2016 10:51pm
Listen, don't hijack the conversation but build a platform for people from the LGBTQ+ community to speak for themselves. Amplify their voices. Educate yourself and, for the love of God, when someone calls you out for saying or doing something hurtful don't throw a tantrum. Learn from it & apologise. Be there for the community consistently on good days and bad days.
sushmaramesh
November 16th, 2020 8:09am
In my experience I have most grateful to my allies that have taken the time to ask what they could do. You are already doing one of the most helpful things. The act of asking acknowledges the person in front of you. One of my meditation teachers told me his most important practice was to say to himself, "the person in front of me is important and their happiness matters" before he spoke with another person. Focusing on compassion and kindness makes you an amazing ally to everyone. The best way to support LGBTQ+ community is to treat them normally. Just remember that sexuality or gender identify don't define any of us and we are still the same people so just act with LGBTQ+ person the same as you are acting with others. For me it would be the best, don't make a big deal on my sexuality and I think there is a lot of people from LGBTQ+ community who would agree with me!
Anonymous
November 26th, 2018 2:54am
You can be a good ally to the LGBTQ+ community by increasing awareness. Speaking about it freely with friends, making them feel like they are not judged. Avoiding offensive LGBTQ+ words, defending LGBTQ+ members and spreading the message that it is okay to be different. People should not judge others by who they feel attracted to. Try also to be understanding of homophobes, you will not do any change if you refuse to listen to them. Try listening to them and then explaining why, in your opinion, being LGBTQ+ and everyone should think so too. By doing these, you can help the LGBTQ+ community.
Anonymous
July 24th, 2018 3:42pm
If anyone tries to make fun of the community, stop them. You may want to go to rallies. As long as you are acting on their side, not making fun of them, supporting them, you are a good ally.
Anonymous
July 16th, 2018 6:05pm
Something that really helps is to be there to talk if a friend in the community needs it. There are also times when they may need support. You can join a GSA or LGBTQ+ group. There is no perfect way to be a good ally. Treat them the way you treat a good friend, with respect and kindness.
Anonymous
June 2nd, 2018 11:38am
The best way that you can support the LGBTQ+ community is to treat them as you would with anyone else. Remember that who we like doesn't define us and it doesn't give anyone the right to treat them differently. We are all the same person as yourself. Just don't make a big deal about their sexuality, some people don't like it!
Anonymous
January 30th, 2018 3:22am
One of the best ways to be an ally is to be a friend. Don't define a person as "your gay friend", but think of him/her/them as a friend first. If you are there to listen and provide support without falling into the trap that being different is our defining characteristic, then you're well on your way to becoming a good ally.
Anonymous
December 12th, 2017 2:51pm
You can be s good ally by respecting and helping one another in the lgbtq+ community and walk together with pride!
Anonymous
November 28th, 2017 3:57am
Be supportive. Not over the top, just stand up for them if nobody else is, or support any LGBTQ friends you might have
bigSoul58
October 10th, 2017 3:51pm
Going to our parades are helpful, but mostly, if you here someone disrespect us, then standing up for us is always nice.
fruitCat
September 26th, 2017 11:01pm
A few things I can think of are... Do research on LGBTQ+ history and rights (do things about any lack of rights you spot, if you can). Try to correct people (politely of course :P) if they are saying things based on stereotypes, rumours or other bad/faslse information, or if they are being rude or prejudiced or are bullying an LGBTQ+ person. Go to pride events with your LGBTQ+ friends and use the pronouns people ask you to if they are trans (or just in general to be honest). Generally, just keep yourself educated and respect people. Which you are already doing just by asking this question! (Well done you, what a great ally you are :P)
LovingSunrise55
July 18th, 2017 9:31am
Just accept them as they are. be friends with them and don't say anything negative about them. Treat them the way you treat everyone else.
Aayla
- Expert in LGBTQ+ Issues
July 3rd, 2017 7:31pm
Supporting the rights of LGBTQ+ people is the most powerful thing you can do to help. If you do not judge LGBTs and you treat them like you would treat anyone else you're already being a good ally, but supporting the cause of equal rights is what really makes a difference. Also, don't be afraid to stand up for mistreated LGBTs when you have the chance: unfortunately, many people still are close-minded and can't stand LGBTs. By being open-minded and supportive you can make a positive change in the world
Anonymous
November 12th, 2016 10:50pm
Just asking shows that you're a great ally! The best thing that you can do is be there for people, and not assume anything. Some people use different pronouns than you would think, or identify differently than what you might assume! Asking pronouns, making sure to correct people who say something rude or insensitive, and just being there to support your friends who are LGBTQ+ is a great start.
julesap3
May 30th, 2016 1:53am
You can be a good ally by acknowledging that your fellow LGBTQ+ members are humans too. For example, if someone is transgender or not part of the gender binary, call them by their pronouns. It isn't preferred, it's who they are.
musicalForest17
February 8th, 2016 7:33pm
Very good question. Be supportive of your friends that are LGBT, ask questions about things that you don't know, join a GSA!
ItsButterflyLove
February 2nd, 2016 10:13pm
You can always be one. Just make sure you don't say something that could hurt people. It's the same like any other community. You are there for each other, you help each other. And you care for each other. It isn't hard and you are alwas a good member if you just follow one rule: Don't hurt each other! That's the golden rule. It's only that. You don't have to go to parades or such things. It's enough when you're friendly and nice. And don't forget: You are beautiful♥
Katie77
December 18th, 2015 4:35am
Be willing to listen. When possible, promote voices from within the community (rather than promoting your own voice). Acknowledge your limitations and make an effort to educate yourself on the diversity of issues at hand. Do you best not to contribute to trans/bisexual/pansexual/asexual erasure. Be aware there is not one uniform "LGBTQ" experience - everyone has their own polymorphous perspective. :)
bettereverdaay
November 3rd, 2015 8:45pm
Its important o be accepting and willing to listen. exposing ones sexuality is a very scary thing and they need you to be ready to accept them and to not judge
Anonymous
May 28th, 2015 5:01am
Promote LGBTQ+ awareness!! Just letting others know you are interested in heeling goes a long way. Nothing is more important that support.
Anonymous
May 18th, 2015 2:40pm
There is a few ways that mean a lot to people I've met 1. Don't categorize things as boy or girl things to do 2.Don't assume you know what a person is. This brings many into bad trouble. You should ask their gender identity every time you meet a new person. 3. Don't stereotype the lgbt groups. (i.e. : He is gay, he has to be flamboyant. If he is a guy, why is he wearing a dress) 4. Educate yourself more. Lack of education brings many of us down. To make it simple.
Anonymous
May 15th, 2015 1:32pm
Its helpful to learn up on the topic and teach others out in the community about the facts. And volunteer helping out at the centers
Anonymous
May 7th, 2015 10:45pm
Listen to what we have to say without projecting your own interpretation, respect that our culture is changing and evolving, give us space to feel comfortable but also encourage intergration by making it not a big deal at all. We're all just people, just be kind :)
BlueYozhik
April 8th, 2015 8:28am
Great question. You can be an ally by respecting, supporting, and listening to members of the LGBTQ+ community. You can also confront ignorance about LGBTQ+ people within your group of friends, coworkers, peers and family members when you feel you have the background information to engage with the topic on a respectful level.
melodyowl130
April 3rd, 2015 4:02pm
You can do a lot to help the community - donate to different supporting charities, join your school's club, and even attend a pride parade.