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How can I explain homosexuality to my parents?

199 Answers
Last Updated: 04/19/2020 at 1:43am
How can I explain homosexuality to my parents?
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
Moderated by

Jessica McDaniel, LPC, LCPC

Licensed Professional Counselor

I have been practicing cognitive behavioral psychotherapy since 2005 with a diverse group of clients, all ages, races, and socioeconomic classes.

Top Rated Answers
Anonymous
September 16th, 2016 11:02pm
You can write a letter. When you have not enough confidence to tell them. It could be a great idea :)
Anonymous
September 30th, 2016 1:21pm
You can show them articles or videos about LGBTQ+ topics, if they're homophobic, it is best to wait for a right time or make is subtle to avoid having trouble with them.
KingEvan0904
October 7th, 2016 2:55am
Being gay myself, can help you with this. You should explain that it's not gonna change who you are.
Anonymous
October 9th, 2016 6:45am
Sit down with them, explain what you're feeling & talk to them about it all. I bet they will understand & love you for who you are.
ZeddMikuMCR
October 10th, 2016 12:50am
You could try putting some mainstream celebrity as an example, and explain how they find the same sex attractive and just see how they react towards that.
Anonymous
October 14th, 2016 10:53pm
How I explained it to my mom is that I am romantically and sexually attracted to someone of the same sex and/or gender identity. Now, your sexual and romantic preferences may differ from each other; from there you can talk about those differences. Just remember to stay calm and know that, no matter what, someone will always be there for you (even if it is us here at 7 Cups of Tea!).
Anonymous
October 19th, 2016 11:17pm
Come forward to them only when you feel ready and safe to do so. Think about the possible outcomes of coming out to them and determine the best method of approach.
Anonymous
October 20th, 2016 5:45am
Well homosexuality is nothing different from heterosexuality except they happen to be the same gender. Being attracted to the same gender is also a more direct approach.
Savann6h
October 23rd, 2016 3:05am
Just like you couldn't think about being in love with a person of the same gender I can not think of being in love with someone of the opposite.
Anonymous
October 28th, 2016 3:45pm
Some people like the opposite gender, and some people like the same gender, love is love and nobody can help loving who they do. It's the way that we're born, and nothing can change it.
ZoeH
October 29th, 2016 8:37pm
I had the same issue once. It is always a gamble to come out to your parents; you can never know how they will respond. Sharing this is difficult because it is essentially telling your parents what you like in sex. I would urge you to offhandedly mention LGBT+ issues beforehand and try to get a feel for how your parents will respond. This can also give you a chance to dispel some common misconceptions before you let them know. If you sense that you may be in danger by coming out to your parents, DO NOT COME OUT. Your safety is more important. Once you have prepared, there isn't much I can tell you about what to say because sexuality is different for everyone. Just be honest and avoid talking about sex. Say what it means to you.
Anonymous
October 30th, 2016 10:21pm
Explain it how you would explain it to someone totally clueless to the world of sexuality! That's a good place to start! Keep it short and sweet, right to the point too! Nobody knows your parents as well as you do so you should try find out what works well when you hopefully try explain your sexuality to them! Best of luck to you
sleepis4theweakk
November 16th, 2016 7:51pm
You can start by explaining that gender and sexuality don't always go hand-in-hand in the usual way, but that that doesn't make anyone's sexuality any less valid. You can explain that romantic and sexual feelings for a person are valid whether they are being felt by someone of the same or different gender. There are many online forums and support groups for LGBT+ people, as well as for the parents, friends, and other family members of LGBT+ people, so your parents can visit some of those if they'd like to develop a better understanding. :)
Anonymous
November 28th, 2016 2:26pm
I would explain how people are just loving other people, despite the gender difference. It doesn't matter what race, religion, or sexual preference you have because in the end we're all human. We're all just skin and bone that need love and affection.
xaerty12
January 6th, 2017 3:49am
You should first ask them about their opinion on gay celebrities the LGBT community if they say positive things then start dropping hints about your sexuality if they dissaprove then give them some time and ask again try to persuade them to like the LGBT community
plutoBug
February 5th, 2017 6:41am
If you are explaining homosexuality as a topic, just say it for what it is; an attraction to the same sex. However, if you are referring to explaining YOUR homosexuality, I'd advise only telling them if you're POSITIVE that they'd be supportive of you. Homophobic parents aren't fun to deal with if you're secretly on their "No-List". I'd wait until you are moved out and a legal adult to explain your sexuality to them if they are homophobic.
CaptainObviouslyOblivious
February 17th, 2017 3:10am
Homosexuality is pretty simple. It's just like heterosexuality, except the partners are typically same sex, not different. And it's possibly the best birth control one can have, as well. Homosexuality isn't strange, different or exotic, it's just human nature and falling in love with someone. Period.
beautifulturtle
February 17th, 2017 2:26pm
Maybe it sounds weird, but sometimes it can be helpful to explain it in terms of food? Like take apples and oranges, yeah? Some people like apples, some people like oranges, some like both, some like neither, some like different fruits entirely. It doesn't depend on their gender or on anything about them, it's just a preference, something about themselves that they can't change because their tastebuds are the way that they are?????? You're great and I love you bud, I hope everything goes well
Anonymous
February 18th, 2017 3:43am
Homosexuality is basically saying that you would like to court someone of the same gender rather than the opposite genitals.
LukasTheLeaf
March 1st, 2017 5:29pm
This can be a very touchy subject, especially if your parents aren't particularly accepting of gay people. However, you want to make sure that you're confident in yourself before talking to them about it. If you think they might try to convince you that you're not gay, then wait until you're 100% sure in yourself. In addition, if you know that they aren't going to be accepting, it might just be better to wait until you're old enough to leave the house.
chloe02
March 15th, 2017 8:35pm
Try to gauge how they feel about the LGBT community if they are open and welcoming, tell them simply about whatever you are experiencing. If not, find a trusted adult who you can talk to and ask for their assistance
Laraland
March 23rd, 2017 6:46am
What could help is to write a letter to them, in which you describe everything that you find important for them to know. Once you have it on a paper in front of you, you could let them read the letter, read it to them, or use it as a reference in the back of your mind while talking to them. You don't need to explain everything: only what is important to you.
Anonymous
March 30th, 2017 8:49pm
It's not a phase. You can't change who I am. Parents should love their children no matter who they love,
Comforter26
April 14th, 2017 9:51am
Homosexuality is hard to explain. But I feel like taking the most logical approach is the best way to go. Show them the Kinsey scale and talk about the LGBTQ+ community. Tell them how homosexuality has been around for a long time and how that it is not a choice, an expression or a lifestyle that can be changed. There are plenty of scientific studies that support that. Explain how LGB stereotypes are harmful. It might not be easy, but it is important to do away the ignorance and build awareness.
warmCandy62
May 20th, 2017 3:42am
First tell them that you would like to discuss a serious conversation with them about your sexual orientation. Slowly approach them on your homosexuality, Make sure you show how strong you are with what you believe in, as for in yourself. If they get upset, that is understandable, let them cool off and stand proud with who you are!
Peter
June 7th, 2017 2:06pm
Take a look at this link. This is a UK based organization but they have loads of info that could be useful to anyone http://www.stonewall.org.uk/help-advice/coming-out/coming-out-young-person
Michelle57
June 16th, 2017 6:22am
Ask them how they'd feel about dating people who're the same sex and say that's how you feel about the opposite gender. Compare it to liking a certain type of person, a certain personality type. Everyone has standards when it comes to dating, and one of your standards is the other person being the same sex as you.
Anonymous
June 23rd, 2017 7:37pm
Homosexuality is only slightly different than heterosexuality. Both partners still love each other, show affection, fight and then make up. The only difference is that it's not with the opposite gender but with the same. It's still a relationship. To be gay isn't something you suddenly decide to do for fun, it's something about you. Your parents should love you for who you are, and want you to be happy. And if having a partner that is the same gender means your happy, they should support you.
Anonymous
June 25th, 2017 2:52am
Homosexuality is somewhat of a spectrum. Each person is on different ends, or in the middle. People who are gay may still find girls attractive, and people who are lesbian may still find men attractive. Some may have feelings for both men and women but prefer men, or vise versa. No matter where you are placed on this spectrum, it doesn't change who you are as a person. It's a matter of you embracing who you are, and how you handle the situation.
Anonymous
September 3rd, 2017 11:55pm
Explain that you were born this way, that it's not a choice for you. Tell them you like the same gender the way other people like the opposite one.