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How can you tell if you are a boy or a girl, or something else entirely?

211 Answers
Last Updated: 05/03/2022 at 5:54pm
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Top Rated Answers
MidwesternCalmSeeker
November 22nd, 2020 7:58pm
The concept of gender is a complex one. There are many umbrella terms to describe gender – transgender, non-binary, gender expansive, and the list goes on. The concept of gender can actually be fluid, and your feelings about it can change over time. And that’s okay. A study showed that about 20% of young children who feel that their gender might be different than they are initially told will continue to feel this way into adulthood. If you are someone who has felt unsure for a long time, you are not alone. The reasons can be one or they can be many. First, there’s biology. Females usually have two of the same kind of sex chromosome (XX) while males have two different kinds of sex chromosomes (XY). But in a handful per thousand of births, the chromosome count is actually different. Situations and experiences in your life can cause you to feel less comfortable about identifying as a boy or a girl. Hormones kick in during puberty, and this causes a whole new world of sensations. You can suddenly find yourself attracted to people who you never thought about that way before. It’s no wonder there’s a lot to consider when it comes to sorting out your feelings about how you wish to identify. Self-discovery and self-reflection are good starts to figuring out how you feel. Answer these questions honestly: What kinds of people are you physically attracted to? When you were a young child, did you feel the same or different than you do today? If the world had only kind and non-judgmental people in it, how would you choose to live your life? Thinking about these things may provide some insight. Joining the LGBT+/MOGII Support Forum or Group Support Chat on 7 Cups may also be helpful so that you can connect with others who are working through similar questions.
sunshineninja17
January 21st, 2020 9:20pm
It depends on how you choose to express yourself. I am biologically female, but I went through a period where I considered myself agender, and also a period where I wanted to be referred to as a boy. Now, I use mostly female pronouns, but don't really care what pronouns people use. Some people know what gender they are just by how they wish to express themselves. Other people aren't quite so sure. It's okay to just be yourself, and not worry if you are male, female, or anything else. Identify the way you want to, dress the way you want to. It may be consistent or it may not be. All that matters is that you are being your best self, and making yourself as happy with who you are as you can.
Aayla
- Expert in LGBTQ+ Issues
October 7th, 2019 9:45am
You can try thinking of yourself in terms of one or another and see how that makes you feel. You may try with different pronouns, experiment with different outer gender expression (like looks)... And also, you can try to learn more about non-binary identities and maybe talk to the non-binary community to understand better. You can also do the same with the trans community. With time, you'll find who you truly are!
Anonymous
September 18th, 2018 5:18am
Well, that's one pretty hard question there. Some people just know, others, myself included, just don't. It's difficult when you don't, but sometimes that's how it is, but I will assure you of one thing, You will find out. It will be confusing and chances are you'll hate every second of it, but take it from me when you arrive at an answer, it feels like you're on top of the world. That sounded a bit bad. Questioning yourself isn't all negative. The people you meet and talk to in the community are a massive help, stay with you for years and years.
Anonymous
July 24th, 2018 5:36pm
It all depends on what you feel inside. Don't listen to the labels other people put on you, focus on yourself.
Robin13
March 27th, 2017 4:00pm
Gender Identity is not equal to gender expression, but it may be related. A woman who dresses more androgynously is still a woman, while a feminine trans man is still male. Do you ever get gender dysphoria, or insecurities about your body that are solely related to the sex you were born with? Keep in mind, if it's about hating gender roles, thats different.
Anonymous
October 3rd, 2016 8:44am
For most people, it takes a lot of time to eventually understand yourself. Some people can know they were born in the wrong body from a young age, whereas others don't come to terms with it until their teens or even adult life. I think you have to go with your gut instinct and what feels natural for you.
Anonymous
August 7th, 2015 3:35am
Sex is something that is assigned to you at birth based upon your organs. However, gender is a completely different social construct! You can be a girl or a boy or whatever you feel! Sometimes I feel like a girl, a boy, or just my own thing. Gender has such fluidity and it's amazing. Whatever you choose make sure that you are comfortable with you. You do you :)
Surfer020
July 31st, 2015 3:56am
No one can tell you if you're a boy or a girl or something entirely else. It's all in your mind and your body. If you start to question who you are, don't bash yourself for it, explore it, gender is not determined by your parts, it's determined by your feeling. Only you can be the judge of what you are. And don't let anyone else tell you differently.
bubblegumStrawberry72
July 12th, 2015 7:57am
You can tell by looking at your genitalssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssßssssssssssssssssss
20secondRed
July 30th, 2015 11:35pm
What I found about realizing that I was genderfluid, more along the line of trans is that people who are cisgendered rarely wonder if they may be trans.
Anonymous
July 30th, 2015 9:19pm
The best thing to do is not worry about it and do not let what anyone else says effect you. You are yourself and that is for sure and you are right being however you feel.
enlightenedMelon73
July 30th, 2015 12:49am
It can be so hard when struggling to identify outside of the traditional gender binary (male or female). I identify as gender queer, and was thankful to find the concept after years of struggling to fit in and understand why I wasn't like the other girls. There's no simple answer to this question for many struggling with gender identity. Learning about the many other gender identities and questioning my idea of my own gender helped me to better understand where I fall into the spectrum.
EarthDweeb
July 29th, 2015 8:39pm
When you first figure out your gender, It's usually when you're in your teen years. You feel strange in your body. It doesn't feel right. You want to change yourself.
Elpheleth
July 29th, 2015 10:07am
I think the question is, does it matter? I know we tend to categorize everyone and everything, which is natural, though I honestly believe that as long as you love yourself - it doesn't matter.
Raerejean
July 26th, 2015 9:16pm
Only you can decide because you know yourself best. However you feel the most "at home" or the most like... You.. You know you've found it! Ifbyou dont identify with either gender, that is okay too! Dont feel pressured into putting a gender label on yourself!
Anonymous
July 26th, 2015 3:26pm
There are various ways you can tell if you are a boy or girl. Once you begin to start having feelings that you associate more with the other gender, you should try researching some of the ways to figure out where you fall in the different genders. Once are more or less sure about how you identify, you should confide in someone you are close to. Possibly a close friend/sibling, from then on it becomes easier to deal with the weight of your secret and make it easier to come out to more people.
Thanks4Calling
July 26th, 2015 12:05am
Our brain and community classifies us into a gender role. Sometimes that may not feel specifically black or white. Girl, boy or someone different. Sexuality is diverse and deeply personal. Understanding your sexuality is about the feelings, thoughts, attractions and preferences you feel towards other people. There are different types of sexuality and it can take time to figure out what fits for you. Sometimes stereotypes may change over time, but eventually you will recognise what feels the most comfortable for you.
Dennis93
July 26th, 2015 12:05am
Your own inside voice and your feelings are always the most important things to listen to. Sexuality comes as a natural thing inside ourselves and nobody can tell better than ourselves. How do we find out? We talk to ourselves, we meditate and ask ourselves how we feel and act.
Anonymous
July 25th, 2015 4:51pm
Only you are qualified to answer that for yourself! You are the world's leading expert on you, and you have the power to own and define your own identity as and when you choose.
divinemind
July 25th, 2015 2:15pm
You can tell if you're a boy, girl, or something else in my opinion is you decide on what makes you happy the most. Yeah, society will try to beat you down but, if you feel confident, happy, and beautiful it shouldn't matter what others think of you. Do what makes you happy and not what others think will make you happy.
daisyinwounderland
July 17th, 2015 3:20pm
One things for sure. Body parts mean nothing! What do you feel you are? Boy, girl, or even neither. These are all possibilities. At the end of the day all that matters is what you feel the most comfortable identifying with.
Anonymous
July 19th, 2015 8:57am
How to tell what your gender is? If you could choose to be more feminine or more masculine what would it be? The answer could be both, feminine, masculine, niether, and much more.
Anonymous
July 18th, 2015 11:52pm
By the way you feel not by what body you were born with, but by what you mind and heart tell you that you are
Anonymous
July 18th, 2015 6:26pm
It takes time to determine your gender, and there are many different gender identities. Keeping a log of what you feel you identify as each day can help!
jkllama
July 18th, 2015 1:04am
Make sure you look deeply inside yourself on this topic. There are many things that may indicate who you are on the outside, but the only thing that matters is how you feel inside.
alise
July 17th, 2015 10:46pm
There is no definite "boy" or "girl". Gender is a spectrum and you are allowed to be whatever you want. Just ask yourself, what do you feel like? Labels only go so far, but remember: you don't have to label yourself!
ListeningForHope
July 15th, 2015 3:43am
Most people know from the time they grow up wether or not they are a boy or a girl, but as we grow older it becomes much harder to tell for some people. Some feeling as if they belong in another body while other feel like they belong just where they are. So I don't think you can ever really "tell" until the day you wake up and decide "This is who I am going to be for today".
Anonymous
May 3rd, 2022 5:54pm
Hm well based on personal experience I can say that it's up on the individual. Originally I identified as female, recently I took some time to do some actual healing and self care and over time discovered that I am non binary. So basically what I'm saying is you just need to take time and self care. It's a long journey full of ups and downs but if you're determined like I'm sure you are it will be fruitful. Please always remember that this adventure is different for everyone and it's okay if you feel like you figure something out and then it does not feel right anymore, that's okay and all part of the process of discovering yourself.
ListenJessica645
July 12th, 2015 11:50pm
If you have had a crush on only one gender or have had strange feelings towards only one, then you are the standard heterosexual. If you feel like you were born into the wrong gender, or you have similar feelings towards both, then you are bi or transgender.