How can you tell if you are a boy or a girl, or something else entirely?
211 Answers
Last Updated: 05/03/2022 at 5:54pm
Moderated by
Lianne Kirby, MA in Counselling Psychology
Counselor
I believe everyone should have the opportunity for their voice to be heard. I use a trauma informed, person centred approach in counselling.
Top Rated Answers
It can be a long journey. Research into gender identities and experimentation can be very helpful. I know that it took me some time to come to any conclusions, and have gone through several labels before settling on one that felt most comfortable. However it is important to know that you're gender identity has nothing to do with your anatomy or style of clothes. What you ultimately decide to label yourself as is a highly personal decision that can only be come to with time - whatever is most comfortable is often the best choice.
Gender is much more complex than what society makes it seem to be. Society says you're either a boy or girl, and if not, you're something that falls outside of the "norm." I'd say it's up to the individual to decide how they identify as whether it's being a boy, girl, or something else entirely. You are what you feel you are and it's absolutely okay to not fit those rigid boy or girl categories. Many people have a mix of female and male traits, which is totally okay!
you just know,I know I felt super out of place as a female. If you want to know more come chat with me or go to the transgender forums here on 7 cups!
Some people would say to look at your physical makeup. However, there are so many people out there that feel as though they are a different gender than what they were made of. How do you feel? That's the question you need to ask yourself.
There are the well know scientific ways, but gender wise it's something a person has to figure out. How you want to be seen as. What "label" you feel the most comfortable with. We don't have to conform to being a boy or a girl.
Experiment. If you're used to wearing 'boy's clothes', try wearing a skirt or a feminine top one day, or vice versa. See how it feels, and see which you prefer, or if you like both equally. Always experiment and find your preferences first, and then find labels after. Exploring your gender identity can be really fun, treat it as an adventure! And above all good luck :)
I believe it depends on how you feel on the inside and entirely if you feel like a boy great! if you feel like a girl also great! sometime you can like a mix of both or neither and that's okay too you, if you feel differently everyday you may be "genderfluid" which mean your gender changes upon how you feel.
Anonymous
August 12th, 2015 12:38am
No one can tell you if your a boy or a girl, its all up to you if you start to wonder about your gender dont worry just explore!
Anonymous
August 12th, 2015 5:20am
I am all sexes and no sexes. I do not require a body to love.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The best way to tell your gender is to just explore it, don't rush into trying to put yourself into a certain spot. You will know where you are in time.
This can be very difficult to tell. When I discovered I was not the gender I was assigned at birth, I thought to myself "I am a girl." When that didn't feel right, I thought "I am a boy." That didn't quite feel right either! Luckily, there are many different terms on the gender identity spectrum, such as genderfluid, demigirl/boy, agender, and others. Try researching gender identity and applying these to yourself, and see which one fits. Gender is largely about your internal feelings, and outward expression comes second. I hope this was helpful!
Anonymous
August 12th, 2015 5:27pm
There is a broad spectrum of identities, whether it's gender, sexuality etc. Nowadays you can go by whatever "label" you want to - you can even choose to not identify by any label at all. The best way to tell whether you're a boy, girl, or something else entirely (as simple as this sounds) is to go by how you feel. Do you feel like a girl? Like a boy? Like neither? Like both? Just know that whatever you're feeling is okay, and you don't need to explain yourself to anyone.
It all boils down to stereotypes. I personally don't believe in gender roles, however I do understand them. You should ask yourself what you feel you relate to most? What feels right for you? Make sure you feel comfortable in your own skin, and find your gender identity by what comes easiest.
It's how you feel. Regardless of the body you're born in, figure out what you identify with the strongest. Don't worry if that takes a lot of time, it is more important to be accurate, than to be quick.
Anonymous
August 13th, 2015 12:34pm
Honey, it's how you feel. If you don't feel like a boy, then don't identify as male. If you don't feel female, then don't identify as female. Feel like neither? Then don't be either. Just be yourself.
You are who you know, that person you have always known yourself to be is neither one absolute or another. It is not all about genitalia, or blues or pinks, there are so many shades in between and none are wrong.
Anonymous
August 14th, 2015 4:48am
I'm not sure that there is any "right" answer for this. Gender is certainly a lot more than your DNA or what body parts you have- gender identity can be very complex. I guess it's about what makes you feel good, what feels the most like you. Transitioning/ discovering your gender identity/ lack of is no simple thing. Please seek help from knowledgeable individuals if you are struggling with this very important part of your life.
Anonymous
August 14th, 2015 3:49pm
I think that isn't really something other people can answer for you. It's purely based on what you're comfortable and happy labeling yourself.
Anonymous
August 14th, 2015 9:45pm
The best way to tell if someone is a boy or girl, or something else, is to just ask them. Then you can know for sure.
it's a feeling, ask yourself what you're
feeling, how is that feeling relating to be certaing gender
It's all about how you feel. You just have to make sure you explore yourself in every way you know.
Research what it means to be that gender and if it applies to you then you can have that label. If you feel like you are not a boy or a girl then maybe you don't have a gender. You don't have to label yourself.
if it really isn't obvious but you know they aren't the sex they appear to be its as simple as asking them. it's not rude to want to call someone by their correct pronouns and learning more about the community they associate with.
My take would be by experimenting. You may experiment, much like when trying outfits at a clothes boutique, and see which one you identify with. Perhaps you feel you identify with one gender, or feel fluid and you identify with more than one gender, that's ok.
Whichever the outcome of your experiment, please keep in mind that You are not only your gender, you're worthy whichever gender you identify with, even if you identify with more than one gender or no gender at all!
Please, feel free to reach out to talk about this with me or any of our listeners here. We are here for you. Warmly, Alan.
Ask yourself, if you do not feel strongly one way or another,is it necessary for you to make a choice? Are you making a choice because you want to or because you feel pressured by others to do so? Perhaps you are just you.
You know if you are a boy or girl by the way you feel in your heart, don't ever let someone tell you what you can and can not be.
Finding your sexuality is not an easy thing, but the time u take to do so is worth it. Take your time and get to know your sexuality.
The answer when questioning your gender and sex doesn't come easily, far from it. But whatever you are you are still human, and being able to tell what you are comes with time. You can be a boy, a girl, both or neither, it's up to you. Don't try to judge yourself too quickly let what happens happen and go with how you feel above all else.
Gender is a personal experience that describes how you and society perceive yourself. A boy isn't a boy because he has short hair and plays baseball, and a girl isn't a girl because she wears dresses and plays with dolls. Gender roles is not the same as a gender identity. If you believe you feel male or female or something else without that pressure to conform to gender roles, that's how you start to realize where this misalignment comes from.
Ask them. There's no problem in asking. If you don't want to be straight on that topic, ask what pronouns they'd like you to use.
Or, try to stop fitting people on boxes. Is hard, but you can do it with a little bit of training.
Related Questions: How can you tell if you are a boy or a girl, or something else entirely?
How do I come out as nonbinary?I've just come to terms with being transgender. How do I come out to my girlfriend of many years?How do I tell my boyfriend that I'm transgender?Is there any chats/groups/forums specifically for Transgender teens 18 and under?What does it mean to be Queer? I'm love with my best friend, but she's straight. What do I do?How do I come out to my parents?How to deal with falling in love for your best (and straight) friend?How can I explain homosexuality to my parents?Hi. I’ve had trouble with my family lately. My mom says she supports me-being an enby but won’t call me by my pronouns. And got angry at me now I’m in trouble. Please help?