How do I come out as nonbinary?

90 Answers
Last Updated: 08/11/2019 at 4:19am
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Top Rated Answers
Anonymous
June 11th, 2017 4:34pm
As a nonbinary person myself, I can say that it depends on your situation. Me, I had very supportive surroundings. So if you don't, it would be best to think about many different ways to tell everyone. I came out all at once. My name, my pronouns, and my appearence changed all within one week. To reinforce it, I corrected anyone who used my wrong pronouns or my dead name. I don't know how old you are, but if you are still in school, but if you come out during the school year, it would be best to tell all your teachers beforehand.
Michelle57
June 16th, 2017 6:32am
First make sure they know what that means before you tell them that's what you are. Maybe tell them that's what your friend/someone you know and they don't is to see how they react or say something like "did you know some people feel like this?" Or explain what how you feel in terms of gender before labeling it to make sure they know what you mean.
1960sTRex
June 21st, 2017 10:42pm
Well it depends who you're coming out too, you can do it seriously and have all the information ready to answer questions or you could come out with a pun or baked goods? Maybe a mixture of both! It's how you feel comfortable but definitely be ready for the questions!
Anonymous
July 24th, 2017 7:56pm
There is no recipe for coming out, but first it's important that you think of your own safety. Will your family accept your "true self", or maybe won't they understand you or even send you away? After you know that you aren't in danger to be " corrected " or sth by your family, you can try to find a time and place where they will truely listen to you. It's always good to be honest, so try to tell them it's not a "phase". I'm sure that your true friends will stay with you no matter what happens.
Anonymous
July 26th, 2017 3:06am
Coming out is always really difficult. The first think I'd do, is make sure that it's safe to come out. Once you've established that it's okay to come out, I'm assuming that it would be most difficult to explain to people what being non binary is. Many people (sadly) are uneducated about the LGBT+ community. I hope your coming out goes well!
ThisKidCalledSkyler
August 11th, 2017 11:05pm
Tips on coming out: -make sure you are in a safe environment (don't put yourself in danger) -don't be too upset if you have to keep reintroducing the topic (these people have known you they way you have been presenting yourself it takes time for them to adjust) -be prepared for hate even the most supporting environment can have some negatives -don't rushing into anything take time to discover who you are and become the most authenticly you as possible -talk to people who have come out for advice -starting small can be good maybe tell a friend or a cousin
playfulKiwi28
September 3rd, 2017 10:51am
Start by telling the people you trust the most and that you know that they won´t judge you. Tell them what you are and try to explain in best way possible. When you start to feel comfortable telling a few people, it will start to be easier for you coming out, Just be you and be sure of yourself.
whatreallymatters
September 7th, 2017 3:33am
Be sure to have the right emotional support when you do it. If you can't find a friend who is completely open to it, find a listener that you like on 7 Cups. Start off slow by talking about the LGBT+ community, then transgender people in specific and try to help these people grow more accepting (if not already) before you tell them. If you're too scared to tell them face to face, it's perfectly ok to tell them on the phone, send them a recorded voice message, or simply a text.
Momospeachykeen
October 19th, 2017 2:51pm
Take your time, sometimes it can be hard. What I did, was I went up to my dad, looked him straight in the eyes, and admitted it. It’s nothing to be ashamed of, you, are you! Take your own time, and don’t feel rushed. Good luck!
positiveHeart34
October 19th, 2017 4:32pm
It depends on what type of person you are! It may be that you want to sit everyone down and tell them outright, or you might want to tell people individually.
Anonymous
October 23rd, 2017 12:18am
Follow your heart. Consider if you're in a safe enough environment to come out yet or not. Your choices are sometimes permanent decisions. You can also pick and choose who you wish to come out to at a time, slowly. If it sometimes stressful and hard to say the words out loud - it's fine to come out in different ways as well instead of verbally. Just be ready for a lot of questions.
katiaclaire
November 10th, 2017 3:54pm
Everybody's experience is different for coming out especially as non-binary. For me, validating myself was the first step and then being prepared to answer any questions as well as be respectfully assertive
Anonymous
November 15th, 2017 11:55am
This may be hard however you should youtube videos about coming out and then send it to the people you would like to tell. This may be difficult to find the right one but it means you dont have to speal
usefulHelper2003
November 17th, 2017 4:12am
Coming out as a non binary is hard . But first of , you have to true yourself and let go of all the scare ness you have . Be true to. Yourself and come out when you’re ready .
Kaydenchatss
November 18th, 2017 2:52am
Coming out is a difficult process for anyone no matter what they identify as but being nonbinary is definitely a new concept for a lot of people so the coming process for someone who identifies as being nonbinary might have some more obstacles to overcome. I would say that you should try and empathise with whoever you are trying to come out to. Put yourself in their shoes and remember that this might be complete new to them so it is normal and okay for them to not understand and maybe even reject the idea of it because they fear what they don’t understand. Just remain calm, sit down with the person and explain what nonbinary is and what it means to you and the changes it will bring (change if pronouns, names etc). Just keep in mind that this person might know nothing so teach them! Try and help them understand you and how you feel and go from there :)
Anonymous
December 6th, 2017 10:49pm
Coming out is a huge step and there aren't really rules on how to do it. It depends on the person how they want to do it. What is important is that you feel safe when you do it and that you have the information to answer possible questions that the person you're coming out to might have about being nonbinary.
Clayne
December 23rd, 2017 4:31pm
You get to decide how best works for you! Ultimately, there's no wrong way to come out :) In my personal experience, coming out meant informing those around me what nonbianary meant, and so it meant informing them on why I felt the way that I did. Over dinner, I gently said that I had to talk to my family about something, and told them I didn't feel like a girl. I had been researching, and I found that I wasn't a girl or a boy: I was just a human. My parents both only believed me when I showed them scientific studies and journal reports. Everyone has a different life situation, and you have to do what you feel confident in. Slowly I told my friends, but word spread before I could tell people personally, and soon people I had never met were calling me "them" and "they". So in the end, there is no "right" answer, whatever makes you feel the most comfortable and confident.
BrightLight111
December 30th, 2017 10:56am
coming out is a very personal experience and you have to come out in your own way. Non-binary might take a bit of explaining but bear with them because if they care about you they'll truly want to learn and understand more.
Anonymous
January 13th, 2018 1:00am
Coming out as non-binary will need some clearing up, especially if the person you are telling doesn't know much about the LGBTQ+ community. When you do tell someone make sure to give them some time to process this new information.
JuliaIsParticipating
January 20th, 2018 8:35pm
It depends on who you are coming out to. If you're coming out to friends you know will immediately support you, then simply tell them that you identify as nonbinary and what pronouns you use. If you are coming out to close family members, have a meeting with them and fully explain yourself to them. Best of luck!
Linzielove
February 7th, 2018 6:01am
You don't need to come out, if you truly don't want to. However if you do come out, try to mention it as casually as possible. This way whoever you are telling may feel as though their reaction has to be equally casual and calm.
Anonymous
February 7th, 2018 6:19pm
Depending on the people you're coming out to, you may want to do it differently. If they are aware of the community and know what non-binary is, then it can be simple. But you may have to explain it. You can write a letter or email, call them over the phone, talk to them in person- you could even ask to meet with a counselor and talk it out with them there. If you do have to explain it, be prepared. It's important to come out when you're ready. Do your research, get to the point where no one can change your mind. Remember that you know you best! What ever you do end up doing, just make sure that the environment you're coming out in is safe.
ultravioletsunflower
April 8th, 2018 4:59pm
Coming out can be a hard process come out to someone whom you feel safe with first when it is a safe time. Explain to them what being non binary means and why you feel this way. Best of luck!
SunnyGab
April 15th, 2018 9:08pm
Sit down with your parents (or etc) and have a calm discussion about how you want them to refer to you. Leaving room for them to ask questions.
MichiiM
April 21st, 2018 1:01pm
Ease into the subject easily, observe their body language and make sure they're not trying to pressure you into being silent. Make sure you're also comfortable while coming out and don't force yourself.
Anonymous
April 21st, 2018 5:02pm
Firstly you are going to have to accept yourself and be happy. Once that happens coming out should not be that important because you just have to be happy with yourself and people who really love you would accept you for you.
JaydenIsHere
April 22nd, 2018 9:31pm
Do it in a safe environment and take things slow. Rushing things will only bring up questions for the person you're coming out too. Allow them time to think about it and ask questions. Be supportive of them and they will be supportive of you.
Doodido
May 6th, 2018 8:28pm
first you want to make sure you accept yourself as non-binary before you expect anyone else to, then you wanna make sure you just dont think about too much. when i came out as pan to my parents i was thinking about it to much and i was nervous and i could barley breath i was so scared and i had thoughts racing in my head like what if they dont accept me or what if they kick me out of the house, you shouldnt let that happen though
TransRayOfSunshine
June 8th, 2018 11:02am
Well, first you need to be cautious, yet brave. Blatantly saying it in front of everyone is not a very good idea unless they are LGBTQ+ supporters, so lightly bring it up in a conversation and say it there.
Anonymous
June 21st, 2018 11:54am
That solely depends on who you want to talk to, if it's your parents try to calm the situation down and make the moment right