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How do I come out to my parents?

273 Answers
Last Updated: 11/07/2020 at 3:31pm
How do I come out to my parents?
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
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Terrence Sawyer, MS Counseling Psychology

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Top Rated Answers
Larsicorn
June 19th, 2016 12:30pm
I wrote a letter to mine. I found it was too awkward to talk to them in person, as I was only just starting to come out. Educate them as best you can so they can be supportive and understanding.
RainbowVeronica
June 25th, 2016 5:59pm
You can come out anyway you want. The way I came out to my parents was first asking them their opinion on LGBTQ+ issues, so I could judge whether they would accept me or not.
Anonymous
June 30th, 2016 8:19am
Coming out is hard, espacially to parents. You don't know how they will react. You just need to pick up a calm situation, and just introduce slowly what you want to tell them
Anonymous
July 1st, 2016 7:32am
Tell them: "This is who I am and if you think you can stop me then you need to think again." Be who you are no matter where the opposition comes from. Be Garnet (Steven Universe reference)!!
Dillion
July 2nd, 2016 3:14am
there are many different ways to come out, but before you do any thing you have to make sure that you are safe. This is very important to you and them and you should feel ready!
HugsAndTickles
July 3rd, 2016 5:39am
There are lots of ways to do it. If your parents are the more accepting type, try something fun like baking a cake in the colours of your pride flag! If they're on the less accepting side, try sitting them down for a talk. Be prepared to answer any questions they have. And just because they don't automatically respond greatly, doesn't mean they won't soon. If you don't want to do it in person, try writing a letter explaining everything. Remember: If coming out may put you in danger, it's best to hold off until it's safe to do so!
Anonymous
July 6th, 2016 3:17pm
Coming out is a deeply personal journey. There is no right or wrong answer, some people choose to do something fun, and light, like making a rainbow cake, some decide to just bring home a date, or some sit their parents down and have a conversation with them. There are a million ways to come out, and what ever you want to do, it's up to you!
Anonymous
July 6th, 2016 5:43pm
There is never going to be the "right time". You will, though, find a time where you can sit down with your parents together and come out. Tell them how you really feel, and tell them how you have felt that way for a long time. Understand whether or not they approve, but remember that you can't change who you are and that they will have to learn to accept it now or later.
PaleRose12
July 9th, 2016 9:57pm
When and only when your ready that is the most important part and also when you are most comfortable with you sexuality :)
Anonymous
July 15th, 2016 7:20am
Be gentle, and firm. They might not like it at first, or at all, but, you should always try. Stand your ground, and don't be upset if they don't react how you want them to.
AdorableReeds
July 24th, 2016 7:17am
Stay calm and get them together and sit at a table, coming out is very simple and easy if you just stay calm and tell them.
Gracey
July 24th, 2016 6:44pm
When I came out to my mum, i simply sat her down and told her that i was bisexual and liked both men and women. I suppose it sometimes isn't as easy as that but you just have to be true to yourself and say it how it is. It is who you are.
Anonymous
July 27th, 2016 8:31pm
I can't really give advice telling you what to do or what not to do. Every person, situation and indeed every family is different. But I can tell you that no matter what you decide is best I am still here to talk to you and that it will be okay no matter what happens.
floofloops
July 28th, 2016 3:59pm
Whenever you feel ready. You have plenty of time. And if you feel the need to come out with a letter, an email, or any other way that isn't face to face don't listen to anyone that says that's a cowardly way to come out. It's necessary for some people who are too anxious to speak openly about it.
adoredIcicle46
July 29th, 2016 9:19pm
I know it'll be hard to come out to your parents fearing the outcome. Some people would like to do something fun like sending a letter or poster to their parents saying a cool pun like " By the way, I'm Bi", while others would rather take a serious note on how to come out like sitting down the whole family and straight up tell them who you are. It depends on how you want to but if you mean how to get the courage to tell your parents is practice accepting yourself for who you are. Like the saying " Love yourself before you can love others." Once you can love yourself you can then tell your parents.
timetrack
July 31st, 2016 6:52pm
Your parents know you better thank you might think. Choose a moment where you feel they have some time to listen. Maybe start to talk to the parent you have a stronger connection to first. In the end it does not matter - just talk to them!
MalecLightbane
August 5th, 2016 5:03am
Coming out to your parents can be different depending on how they already view gay/ other LGBTQA+ related topics. If they have never showed any hatred to the community, it's best to come out as soon as you feel ready, as it will make the rest of your life much easier. If they have showed they dislike LGBTQA+ topics, it'd be best to educate them on the topic and waive stereotypes while/before coming out. If your parents have showed violent reactions to LGBTQA+ topics, it'd be best to contact the Trevor Project LGBTQA+ hotline and seek help. Their number is found here: 866-488-7386. But above all remember: Coming out is not about how others see you, but accepting who you are. Once you do that you can live a happy and tranquil life, just like you deserve.
Anonymous
August 7th, 2016 5:03am
Sit them down, and break it them slowly, expect an reaction a first. But you'll feel better when you come out.
Grangs
August 14th, 2016 4:21am
Just come out and do it. Make it easy and simple or make it exaggerated. Write it on a freaking rainbow cake if you want. Just do it.. don't back out.
TheListeningOne
August 14th, 2016 11:16pm
When coming out your safety and health are your main priority, you honestly should wait until you feel ready, rushing things really don't help. Also, with coming out, there's no 'proper' way to do things. You can do it over text, a letter, in person, or you can even write it in a cake!
Anonymous
August 21st, 2016 9:51am
There are many ways to come out to your parents. First step is being confident and knowing that your parents might want to talk about it with you. I would suggest sitting them down, and just simply saying the news. :)
Anonymous
August 21st, 2016 9:55pm
The best way to come out to your parents is when you feel the most comfortable, a possible way is to sit them down and explain to them how exactly it is that you feel and that you hope they support your decision.
Anonymous
August 27th, 2016 4:05am
With a lot of courage! I started with my dad, who I knew would be easier to approach and talk to. It's easier, sometimes, to have one ally in the family. I didn't really plan it, either, I just knew that it had to happen at some point and the opportunity just felt right. I hope this helps some; best of luck! We've got your back all the way!
Anonymous
August 27th, 2016 11:16pm
everyone has a different way to come out. come out on your own terms, and make sure you come out in a place where there are other people who can help you, if it doesnt go as planned, which it hopefully will
SweetNori
August 31st, 2016 6:11am
Well, firstly make sure you are ready. Think about how you think they might react. What is the best case and worst case scenario? If you live at home and you think there is a chance they could ask you to leave then maybe wait until you have somewhere else to live. Have a good support person, maybe a friend who you have already come out to, so you have a backup person you can talk to. Other than that, sit down with them, tell them you have something important to say, then go for it. I hope it goes well x
GenderRolesTM
August 31st, 2016 6:39pm
Personally, I came out very nonchalantly about my sexuality. I simply asked my Mum if I could go out with my girlfriend that coming Saturday, just as I would if it were a boyfriend, as for my gender, I just asked my Mum to call me a boy and she complied, but wether its sexuality or gender I think it depends on the situation you are in.
IndigoFlame14
September 2nd, 2016 10:41am
Talk to them and tell them you need to talk to them about something then sit them down, and have a discussion with them about it - but only if you are ready to :) You need to mentally prepare yourself first just in case their reaction isn't what you hope/hoped for. I really hope it goes well but it doesn't always turn out the way you want it to - and as I said you need to make sure you are going o be okay with that. You can try and gage their most likely reaction first before you tell them if you wish.
sereneDreamer45
September 2nd, 2016 9:11pm
Honestly, you will probably never feel entirely ready to come out. But when you feel nearly ready, go for it. think about how you'll say it, or write it even. Do you know your parents views on the LGBTQ+ community? Consider this.
Anonymous
September 3rd, 2016 5:40am
Perhaps discussing your orientation with one of your parents first is a step forward. Then when you have discussed this, it should be easier to have a support system when you know at least one other member of your family is aware of your sexuality.
blackstar
September 3rd, 2016 6:49am
It's a very difficult thing to do, I understand that. The best way is to be upfront, compassionate about your parents, and try to make yourself comfortable. Explain to them calmly and hope they understand.