How do I know if what I'm feeling is something more than friendship related to my friend?
Last Updated: 09/05/2016 at 1:19pm
Lauren Brody, Bachelor in Psychological Science, Advanced Diploma in Counselling and Psychology
I work in supporting individuals in reclaiming their lives from overwhelming thoughts and emotions and help them to take control
Top Rated Answers
May 25th, 2015 7:29pm
You just know. You may have a feeling. You may compare it to another friendship. Is it the same? I hope that helps.
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June 15th, 2015 2:22pm
In my experience, I just had to give it time. Eventually, the answers will come to you. I was in the same situation as you at one point, and when I just relaxed and didn't need to know the answer right this second, it came to me eventually.
Recently I've fallen in love! So this is a very applicable question. Based on my personal experience, my feelings for another person crosses friendship and is something more when... well I feel it deep. It is almost a feeling of butterflies, nervousness, or even straight up ill. At this point I am often oblivious to the fact that 'friend' is the one I have feelings for. It takes time getting to know the friend in other ways. I have often jumped the gun in my past and found those feelings were just affection for a new friend and maybe even a new appreciation for something that this friend has led me too try.
After finding appreciation and affection for a person, I choose to question my other feelings for them. This includes but is not limited to sexual attraction, underlying moral issues, lifestyle choices (i.e. drugs, alcohol etc...), family, and beliefs. My gut and my brain's instincts usually kick in around here. I try to determine if the things that the person and I don't have in common is a problem for me, say for example a belief system or lifestyle choice that I do not share.
When it all comes down to it... my heart does the talking, however I have learned that I do have control over my feelings through the power if thought. So if this person is in any way negatively impacting my wellbeing or the wellbeing of my family or friends I have personal checkpoints in place to assess whether the relationship is a sound choice. I must stress that my polyamorous pansexual choices are not for everyone. Non-monogamous relationships bring their own set of challenges. If you would like to discuss my experiences with falling in love in poly relationships, please feel free to message me.
Love and let live!
If you feel giddy and shy around them, then you might be feeling a little bit more on the romantic side with your friend. If you can't stop thinking about him/her and every little thing that he/she does has meanings to you.