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How to deal with falling in love for your best (and straight) friend?

96 Answers
Last Updated: 08/05/2020 at 7:41am
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
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Top Rated Answers
May 1st, 2020 1:39am
I've been in this situation before, and it certainly is an emotional rollercoaster! You feel a whole host of emotions but likely can't share them with your crush for a number of reasons. What helped me was sitting down and looking at all the traits I was attracted to, then going from there. Was is just a physical attraction to my friend, or was this something deeper? Sometimes straight friends check all the "boxes" we look for in partners, and that can make separating our friendship and our intimate emotions far more difficult. Try not to be too hard on yourself, we can't choose who we're attracted to!
June 18th, 2020 4:57pm
Try to differentiate what you like and what you love about him, what he/she thinks about you (not in front of you ) while talking to others. Don't prioritize always what he/she feels always, sometimes friendships are a lot precious to loose . Be honest. If you think he/she feels something more than friendship to you, honestly acknowledge your feelings. Make sure to be alone with him/her and prepare yourself for all possible outcomes. Warn him/her to be honest too, and that you don't want to destroy your friendship, but you think you fell in love. Normally with friends, one person begins to have feelings earlier than the other.
June 18th, 2020 9:58pm
Exploring feelings further to understand/differentiate between love and lust. Once feelings have been able to be distinguished, ask yourself what you can possibly do to express those feelings safely. If no impacts and situation is friendly, confide in friend... only if you want to :) It is okay to fall in love and it is also okay if your friend to feel a different way than you. Most of times, they will feel happy and appreciated that someone fell in love with them. Don't worry if a relationship doesn't bloom out of it, take the happiness that you have given them and love it :)
July 1st, 2020 12:46pm
Remember that you can't change who they are more than anyone can change who you are. I know that this is a very difficult situation to be in, and many people go through this type of thing, especially as teenagers. It is not your fault, nor is it your friend's fault. However, if you aren't able to be friends with them without feeling bad yourself, you may need to consider taking some distance from your friend. Perhaps this time will enable you to move on from them, which may allow you to be friends with them again one day in a way that is healthy for you. Remember that this happens to a lot of people, so don't think that you are alone in this!
August 2nd, 2020 2:08am
hi! this is definitely a difficult situation that you are in and I want to say that I genuinely feel for you in your predicament. I would first before you do anything ask yourself if these are truly feeling of love or feeling in the sexual sense, opposed to say an extreme sense of familiarity and level of comfort. this is the first thing that I would do. before you change anything in a friendship whether straight or not this is something to think about. how does the person make you feel? how would your life change if the other person were to say they were falling in love with you too? but on the other side of thing play devils advocate and ask whether you would be ok if your friendship turns sour because of your attraction. think inwardly first and then outward would be best.
August 5th, 2020 7:41am
You just have to focus on what’s important. You can be in love with someone without pushing them to feel the same way and a friendship can survive romantic feelings, and can sometimes grown to incorporate those feelings into it. Anyway, it's complex territory and the fear of losing a friend because of feelings is terrifying. Just be calm and don't push them. If you love them, you should be capable of putting her feelings and her needs before yours in every possible way. That's what love is, in a way. If they don’t want it back off, try to maintain the friendship, and live with the friendship. On the other hand, instincts are very powerful. If you have feelings for a friend, at least talk them out. You never know what might happen.