I am a male-to-female transgender but recently I have been feeling like I'm pretending when I am feminine and don't get upset when I am masculine... Is it possible that I'm not transgender after all?

12 Answers
Last Updated: 06/17/2019 at 12:40pm
1 Tip to Feel Better
Canada
Moderated by

Sara Radford, MA Clinical Counseling

Clinical Social Work/Therapist

Within the context of a supportive, collaborative relationship I help clients to explore themselves in a effort to create healing and lasting positive change.

Top Rated Answers
Anonymous
December 16th, 2016 1:32pm
It could just be that your confused about the transition. Sometimes you gotta go through the change to realise it isn't what you want. Go with your heart. Which gender makes you feel more happy and comfortable go with that! x
plantkissed
December 5th, 2016 2:27am
Gender is fluid, so it's hard to know! If you find that a label doesn't fit you as well as it used to, that is perfectly fine, and doesn't make you any less valid for identifying that way only in the past. That being said, not all people have bad dysphoria, and some days are better than others, so it's not necessarily that you aren't transgender. You deserve to feel comfortable no matter how you identify, lovely
WhoopsCat
December 6th, 2016 5:21pm
That's a difficult situation, but I can very much so relate! Finding who you are takes multiple tries, and you may change and realize new things about yourself. Whether with gender, sexuality, or a band you like, you will and are allowed to grow and change your mind. Don't rush to put on or remove labels! You will come into your own in time, don't be in a hurry to rush it.
Anonymous
October 17th, 2017 2:49am
It could be that you are genderfluid, your gender may change periodically, but it is also possible that you are experiencing internalized transphobia.
Breatheasyandoften
January 8th, 2018 10:55pm
Gender expression can vary depending on many things like mood and situation. Gender expression does not always align with gender identity, as it’s not always constant. You could also be genderfluid or genderqueer!
capriaesthetics
March 6th, 2018 5:59am
Femininity and masculinity are not things that automatically connect with being male or female, they are completely different things. Nevertheless, traditional gender roles tend to make people believe otherwise. I feel like it is natural for people to see a woman as needing to be feminine and a man to be masculine but that doesn't make it okay. Accept people for who they are, what they want to be, and what they choose to act by and identify themselves as, try to not feel the need to label everything. Labels are meant to make things easier, not harder. So no, just because you are a male-to-female transgender but still feel comfortable being more masculine, then do so. All that matters is that you are comfortable in your body and can be proud of who you are and what you do.
justpeachy2022
January 6th, 2017 9:48pm
There are multiple genders, perhaps female isn't what you identify with all of the time. It's perfectly normal to identify as having no gender, or multiple. On days when you're feeling more feminine you may go by she/her pronouns but its normal to change when it starts to feel like you're faking, or you're simply more comfortable with he/him pronouns. You have your whole life to figure out who you are, so let the experiences take you where you need to be.
Anonymous
May 8th, 2017 2:25pm
You probably aren't pretending. Some trans people are super okay with being like the opposite gender, just as cisgender people are sometimes okay with dressing like the opposite sex.
EmpatheticFANDRAGON
May 22nd, 2017 3:12am
Yes! You might be genderfluid, you might have transitioned back. You're body might even be going through a stage of denial.
Anonymous
July 4th, 2017 3:03am
I would say that you are transgender. There are a lot of gender norms that are placed on us at birth, and it's okay if you are female and don't adhere directly to the "perfect woman" standards that society builds for us. You are a woman if that is how you want to identify, and it is completely okay to do/like things that are traditionally masculine. In the end, do what makes you happy. Whatever makes you feel the best about yourself and your identity is the answer for you.
Anonymous
December 4th, 2017 3:21am
Sometimes we go through phases. When we do things, we should do them by heart and not by brain. Do what you think is right.
Aayla
June 17th, 2019 12:40pm
Feminine and masculine are concepts that have strong cultural connotations. There are things that are generally associated with one gender in a specific culture, but they're actually things that anyone can relate with, display or enjoy, regardless of their gender. Perhaps you feel these way because you find that some gender stereotypes do not fit you, but your true gender is something that goes deeper than cultural stereotypes and associations. You might still be trans even if you don't 100% fit the feminine stereotype. But maybe it can be of some help to discuss these feelings with people in the trans community, or even better with a therapist, to get a clearer view on your feelings and what they might mean.