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I don't know what my sexual orientation is, but I legitimately don't care and don't have a strong opinion on it. It just doesn't feel like a huge part of my identity. Is this normal?

6 Answers
Last Updated: 04/13/2020 at 3:06pm
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
Moderated by

Jessica McDaniel, LPC, LCPC

Licensed Professional Counselor

I have been practicing cognitive behavioral psychotherapy since 2007 with a diverse group of adult clients with various diagnoses, all races, and socioeconomic classes.

Top Rated Answers
resourcefulZebra
June 19th, 2019 2:26am
Absolutely, that is completely fine and normal. Everyone associates with their sexual orientation differently. For some people, their sexual orientation is a huge defining part of their identity, for others it simply isn't -- and both sides of the spectrum are great and valid. Also, of course, there's a huge range in between (and everyone who falls in that range is also totally valid). As a blanket statement: just be you. I know that might sound cliché, but truly don't worry about what's "normal". There is no wrong way to be you. Your identity, just as it is right now, is perfect.
FawkesCare12
June 20th, 2019 6:50pm
Hello there. It sounds like you feel that sexual orientation doesn't define who you are. And there are many of us who feel the same way. As to whether it's normal, it's up to you. And if you don't have a strong opinion on it, then who's to say that what you feel is wrong. It is your life and you know best. So your identity is created by you and only you can choose what are the things that you want to be defined by. Other people may have all sorts of opinions about us but at the end of day, if we are happy with the person we are, that's what truly matters. Hope you have a great day.
wonderfulSunshine91
June 20th, 2019 9:46pm
I think that a lot of people feel the same as you. Some people spend their whole life wondering what their sexual orientation is. So don't worry. Sometimes people find a label that fits them but find out later down the line that it doesn't. It's okay to be confused. A lot of people who are gay are received to care a lot about their sexual identity because they may talk about it. Straight people don’t usually have to announce their straightness, because the perceived “default” sexual orientation in this world is still heterosexuality. Most people will be assumed to be straight unless they announce otherwise.
sdtangel
June 21st, 2019 3:18pm
I have the same problem, sometimes I ask myself if I am straight or a lesbian. But if somebody would ask me, what sexuality I have I would say straight. And to answer your question, yes it is completely normal. The answer will come when the time is right. You could try to date a girl (if you are a girl) or a boy (if you are a boy), maybe you will not really like it than you are not homosexual and you have your answer. Or you could imagine you with another girl (if you are a girl) or boy (if you are a boy) maybe t answers your question. I hope you find your true sexuality and if it won´t work message me and we will figure something out together.
Aayla
- Expert in LGBTQ+
July 8th, 2019 9:33pm
Sure, the way we feel about sexuality is very personal. For some it's a big part of their identity, for other it's not. If you don't want or need to question your orientation, and if you don't want or need any label, you're totally free to just your life without worrying about it!
CharlieLikesCats999
April 13th, 2020 3:06pm
If it don't matter to you, don't make it a problem for yourself ! Sometimes the question come when you have a new interest of this kind, sometimes it never show up... Whatever, everybody is different and there's so much things that make someone himself that sexuality is not the center of a personnality. Most people give importance to labels because they fear being abnormal, it make them feel less alone about how they feel and give them people to relate to. So yes it is okay to not know and to not care, you are a normal person and you do you !