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I have always been confused on whether sexuality is attraction to a specific sex or a specific gender?

14 Answers
Last Updated: 08/22/2017 at 5:16pm
I have always been confused on whether sexuality is attraction to a specific sex or a specific gender?
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Top Rated Answers
thebartendereffect
- Expert in LGBTQ+
January 18th, 2015 6:47am
That is an interesting, and very good, question! Usually, sexuality is considered an attraction to a specific sex, however, a lot of people consider gender to determine their attraction. A lot of these definitions are us attempting to fit everything neatly into categories, and the truth is, life is messy. Workable is the best you'll get with definitions. Sexuality could be considered a physical attraction, if you want to seperate it from romantic attraction, which you could then attribute to gender. I highly recommend watching this video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xXAoG8vAyzI What matters most is your understanding and acceptance of yourself and the others around you, no matter what you call it. Best wishes!
mysteriousWillow50
April 12th, 2015 11:11pm
Sex is a biological aspect, where as gender is a society thing. It may be a bit confusing, but... attraction is a spectrum when it comes to gender orientation and sexual orientation. There is no clear-cut answer, as there is not an on/off switch, it's more of a dimmer with different settings and everyone has their own preference.
MaeveTheBrave
June 6th, 2016 6:23am
Sexuality is an umbrella term defined as "a person's sexual orientation or preference." This preference can vary widely, and is based on what a person finds attractive and/or appealing in another person. This wide range of sexuality preferences includes all sexes and all gender identities. Sexual orientation, however, is a more specific label on a person's sexuality and refers exclusively to their sexual preference, not gender preference.
c1ov3rda1e
February 18th, 2015 7:28pm
Both, neither, or either. If you are attracted to someone according to one or the other most of the time, than that's just your personal preference and not everyone is the same in that respect. Whether you are attracted to someone usually doesn't imply falling within rules of whether they are a specific sex or gender, but it could for you personally.
Anonymous - Expert in LGBTQ+
June 2nd, 2015 3:39pm
Gender. Sex is based on biology, so in order to be attracted to someone's sex, you would need to first know their biological identity, including cellular composition, sexual organs, and similar things you can't tell by looking at someone. And many of which you'd never have cause to ask anyways. Gender is identity, who people are. If we are attracted to someone, it's most likely due to their identity and/or how they express their identity, not which reproductive organs they have.
zaix
October 25th, 2015 11:15pm
sexuality is very confusing in general, but i guess you can say both, it's referring to both of those things.
majesticHippos413
March 29th, 2016 6:01pm
Sexuality is the attraction to both gender and sex. For example, pansexual is the attraction to all genders and sexes. Its not limited to one or the other. It can also be attraction to multiple genders and sexes.
BriDreaming
May 23rd, 2016 3:30am
Gender. The answer is gender. Saying that it is based on sex can be seen as very transphobic, as it excludes people of different gender identities for the sake of another's sexuality.
Anonymous
May 30th, 2016 2:05am
I've never had strong thoughts about sexualities one way or another. If someone is attracted to someone else, that's all that matters. Through my classes, i've learned it in a more specific way, but it still just depends on the individual.
SimplyBeing
July 12th, 2016 10:01am
I wonder if asking another question would be helpful? I wonder if it could be both. Sexuality is complex. We can be romantically attracted to a sex or gender, have sexual urges for another and have a fantasy life that has nothing to do with either. Sexuality and attraction, gender and its expression in our culture and language, and our romantic goals will change overtime. I know mine have. If they change over time then defining them at the moment can be as simple as saying, "right now I am attracted to this person or right now I feel like this.. And that's okay. We are all different people all through our lives. (A phrase stolen from Matt Smith) And that's okay. So long as you remember all the people you used to be. Who you are right now is okay. I wish you peace. ~J
listenercat5678
September 12th, 2016 9:09pm
Sexuality is both. Sex and gender are essentially the same thing, but sometimes gender can mean that the person is transgender. Sex refers to the person's genitals.
LoveAndPeaceOnThePlanetEarth
October 17th, 2016 1:44am
Gender and sex get confused a lot. Sex, there's only two, male and female (don't freak out when I say that) because sex defines what reproductive organs you have. Gender, there's multiple. Usually, people are attracted to a sex, not a gender, but if you don't care what the person your dating's sex is, then it's attraction to a gender. I hope that cleared it up :)
tranzferdinand
June 20th, 2017 8:50am
For some, it's based on sex. For others, it's gender. There's nothing wrong with having those kinds of boundaries in place. When you add trans people, like myself, into the mix, terminology can get confusing, but all you have to do is ask! I'm a gay trans man and date other cis or trans men, but I know many trans men who still think of themselves as lesbians for being attracted to women. There's nothing wrong with navigating the world with the terms and experiences available to you.
fancyWings27
August 22nd, 2017 5:16pm
Sexuality is complicated. Sexuality exists on a spectrum and is not binary. Binary means that you place yourself in one category or another. Sexuality is something you discover over time, but attraction is something that can be person to person, gender specific or a specific sex. All people are different and have different desires and preferences. If you find yourself trying to place yourself in a category, it may be difficult. However, some people do have clearly defined characteristics they find attractive. There is no rule of thumb, but as long as you are respectful of others and open to your own emotions or attractions, you should be on the right track.