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I have no idea what my gender is. I've taken tons of tests and quizzes. I believe I'm genderfluid (born female) but I also prefer they/he. Sometimes I feel both genders sometimes neither or a weird mix. How can I tell?

2 Answers
Last Updated: 08/27/2019 at 12:11am
1 Tip to Feel Better
India
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Jui Shankar, Ph.D

Psychologist

My worldview offers a systems perspective that values diverse clients and their struggles. I believe supportive and nonjudgmental therapeutic relationships empower clients.

Top Rated Answers
fortefiamette
July 11th, 2019 7:22pm
The important thing to know is that gender is on a spectrum-you don’t have to be restricted to “boy” or “girl.” Everyone falls somewhere on this spectrum-for example, I identify as female, but I have a lot of what would be considered male tendencies and traits. In your case, I wouldn’t be stressed out about which category you fall under, because many people do not fall under any one category. It’s okay to feel more feminine one day and then feel more masculine the next (or to feel that you don’t fit either). Identifying as one gender can be stressful if you feel you don’t always fit one. You are you and you don’t have to stick with any one gender.
Aayla
- Expert in LGBTQ+
August 27th, 2019 12:11am
If your perception of your gender varies, it sounds like you are genderfluid. You identify with different genders in different percentages that vary through time, and you also have moment when you feel agender, and since it's a variable feeling, it seems that you are truly genderfluid. You're completely free to express your identity in a way that fits whatever you feel in a specific moment, remember that your priority is always to feel good about yourself and your self-expression, even if it means changing things through time, to adapt to what you feel about yourself.