I identify as non-binary. Is it normal to still go by she/her pronouns just because that is what I am more comfortable with?
Last Updated: 11/26/2019 at 4:27pm
Amanda Wiginton, LMFT
Marriage & Family Therapist
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Top Rated Answers
If you'd rather go by she/her, go for it! Gender identity is different for everyone and is all about finding the place that's more comfortable for you! And if you want to try things out and then decide they're not right for you, then that's fine! Come on down to the LGBTQ+ subcommunity if you want to chat more. There's plenty of cool people to chat with and, as a fellow nonbinary, I can say with full certainty that everyone is welcome regardless of situation.
You can use whatever pronouns you are comfortable with! You are used to being called she/her, so you are more used to it. Your pronouns do not make your identity as non-binary any less valid. Pronouns do not and will not ever define you, only you get to pick who you are and what you want to be. You can be proud of who you are and your identity, even with she/her pronouns. Just know that people who don't know you may assume you are something you are not, but their opinion should not be important in defining you. Your identity is valid, your pronouns are valid, you are valid.
Sure! Your gender identity is all about how you feel about yourself. Some people prefer to express it in certain ways, including changing pronouns, like switching to "they" pronouns... But ultimately, it is all about your self-perception, not how you present yourself to the world. Anything is good as long as it makes you feel comfortable, and your identity is mot less valid because of this!
I also identify as non-binary and also go by she/her pronouns. I do so because I was raised with them, and feel like changing them would be a big hassle. I did, however, change my name. But she/her fit me often enough, so I'm not uncomfortable. I think that is the most important thing, to be comfortable. If you're comfortable being referred to with she/her pronouns while still identifying as non-binary than that is just that. When you stop feeling comfortable, try out something else. It's all fine.
What's normal is to go by whatever you feel comfortable with. the LGBTQ+ community is all about being true to who you are, right? So go by what you feel comfortable with, and don't worry about what other people think of you. If they're judging you by something you can't control, then you don't need them in your life. Please, no matter what, know that you are not alone. I know the feeling like you're alone in your own corner of the worlds and that no one understands, but there are so many people out there who are supportive and kind. All you have to do is find them.
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