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I'm I actually like this or is a phase?

15 Answers
Last Updated: 08/12/2019 at 10:32am
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Lisa Groesz, PhD

Psychologist

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Top Rated Answers
Anonymous
March 1st, 2015 6:51am
I think this is a question about LGBTQ issues, but not completely sure. If it is, this is what I have to say. Teenagers get called out and judged for just going through a "phase" a lot of times, but that's always something that seemed irrelevant to me. It doesn't matter if what you're feeling is temporary, because in the end your feelings are still completely valid. It's okay to be questioning and be wondering; don't be afraid to embrace your feelings and explore them! What your identity is will have to be answered by yourself, we can't decide for you. Don't ever let anyone else tell what your identity *should* be, because you know yourself best. It can be even more confusing, because identity can change over time and sometimes you might not figure it out until you have more experience. But whatever your gender or orientation is, you're not alone in feeling confused and you can be confident in who you are.
Anonymous
April 10th, 2015 2:52pm
it depends, some say that 'emo' is a phase, maybe it is, maybe not, you can be the way you are for as long as you want, and you only have to change if you aren't comfortable. I know many people are told 'its a phase' when they 'come out'. you do not have to make it a phase just because they want it to be, phases are a way of self discovery, and on the way you may find the way you want to go, acceptance is key- find yourself, be proud, and if others refuse to accept you fully, their opinions do come second.
Aayla
- Expert in LGBTQ+
August 12th, 2019 10:32am
The whole "phase" argument was invented by those who want to make LGBT people doubt themselves and deny their own identity in favour of something more "traditional". Questioning is a phase, it's the moment when you search for your identity. But once you are sure of what you feel, that is your identity, and it's not temporary, it's who you are and have always been, though once you couldn't see it. No one has the right to make you doubt yourself. Your identity is valid!
LucVincent
March 4th, 2015 6:36am
You will go through several phases in your life. Live them as if that is who you are, because in that moment, that is who you are. Phases are how you discover what you are actually like, and they never really stop.
luna20
May 11th, 2015 12:53am
Even if it is a what you consider a "phase", it's "you" right now. Be okay with you this way, because it is you.
Anonymous
May 27th, 2015 11:04am
You're actually like this. I don't believe in phases, the way you're acting depends on your personality.
Oreo
July 21st, 2015 5:30pm
The only way to find out is through time. People go through parts of their lives where they feel a certain way, and that is part of their growth. Whether or not it is just a phase, it should still be respected as a part of your identity here and now, and therefore deserved acknowledgement. Just because you're not going to be that way in a year, doesn't mean that you can't be that way now.
HopefulNarwhal98
August 24th, 2015 5:43pm
Your conditions DO NOT define you. You are so much more than any mental illness you have. For example I'm bisexual, but that's not all I am, my sexuality is just one part of my personality, it makes me who I am, makes me different from others, not in a good way or bad way, just different. Mental illnesses are just another layer of your personality. Mental illnesses last varying amounts of time for different people, however I would never describe it as a "phase" it is possible that you are going to be affected by your illnesses for a long time, maybe even the whole of your life, but as I said, it's just another layer of the fabulous cake that makes you, you!
Anonymous
September 14th, 2015 1:46pm
It's quite possible for it to be a phase, whatever it is you're talking about. If it's something you enjoy, such as a genre of music, then sure, your personality sort of adapts to it. If it's something you don't like, though, then perhaps it's a phase that your body and mind are going through.
Cecelys
February 19th, 2016 7:48pm
Think of it this way. Firstly - it is very likely NOT a phase. You are just like this. And secondly, even if it is a phase, it doesn't make your time identifying as *x* any less valid!
introspect1ve
February 23rd, 2016 4:27am
This could be a phase, or this could just be you. Either way, this does not make your feelings any less valid. Seeking help is always healthy and never a bad idea.
Anonymous
March 22nd, 2016 1:04am
Only you know yourself well enough to answer this question. I can't tell you whether this is a phase or not a phase. However, I would never tell somebody that what they're feeling it "just a phase". If you're having feelings or questioning your gender or sexuality, chances are those feelings are very real. Give yourself as much time as you need to figure things out and explore yourself from there!
ultramarineblue
October 17th, 2016 9:06pm
Phases come and go, what really counts is who you are. Not who you think you are. Always be true to yourself, and never forget that.
SnoOnTheBluff
October 24th, 2016 2:12pm
Oh man, i hate that "this is a phase" nonsense more than anything. The first time I tried to come out to my mother she decided it was a phase and that I was just not looking for boys because of whatever crazy reasons, but no, skip to 10 years down the road and she's seen me with more girls than she can count.
Kyraz01
June 25th, 2018 8:44pm
It depends on your situation. But I truly believe that you can overcome any kind of disease and you can describe it as a phase or your true self, but you will need strength anyway.