I'm love with my best friend, but she's straight. What do I do?

140 Answers
Last Updated: 10/25/2019 at 11:36pm
I'm love with my best friend, but she's straight. What do I do?
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Top Rated Answers
Anonymous
July 20th, 2016 6:06pm
Well , you could maybe sit down and talk to her about this and just expain fully your feelings towards her and say you understands she is straight and that you don't want your friendship to be affected by this.
bulletproofmayhem
July 28th, 2016 11:36pm
Unfortunately, you have to leave her alone if you know for a fact she's not gay. You can't force her to do anything.
Anonymous
July 29th, 2016 5:27pm
Let her know, even thought she's straight, if she's really your best friend she'll understand and not act disgusted
Anonymous
August 5th, 2016 3:52am
Make sure if she actually is straight and not just bisexual/pansexual/homosexual and 'in the closet'. If she actually is straight, you don't have a chance with her, as harsh as that may sound. The best option would be to try to get over your feelings for her. You can tell her about it if you feel like that would not damage your friendship, but you are under no obligation to do so.
comfortableWings52
August 5th, 2016 2:34pm
Tell her and see how it turns up it is the best thing you can do.
CalmingSunshine08
August 7th, 2016 1:15am
If you're in love with your best friend the best thing to do is to simply tell her, If your best friend loves you for you and values your friendship, she'll respond positively to let you know that she can't be in a relationship with you for her own reasons instead of negatively.
Grangs
August 14th, 2016 3:55am
You tell her what you feel and see what she thinks. It will only hurt you in the long run if you keep it in.
Halabi
August 20th, 2016 5:42am
Well love comes in all shapes and figures but like we never choses who we love they don't either. If there is love there is hope
Ency
August 25th, 2016 2:17am
Boy do I know that feeling, I cant tell you what to do but I can tell you my own experience with the problem. I was in love with this girl named Jessica who had been my friend since the first grade. I first realized this in the late 6h early 7th grade and completely panicked and tried to distance myself from her hoping that I would not be that attracted to her if I did. I STRONGLY recommend agents doing what I did because all it did was ruin the relationship with my best friend. Anyway its like 3 or so years later now and Im happy dating someone else. I used to regret not telling her but in the end Im happy with the way it turned out. Anyway I hope my anecdotal answer helped at least a little bit!
freefromworries
September 2nd, 2016 10:56pm
There's no way to make her feel the same way about you, whether you want that or not. There comes a point where you need to realize you feel a certain way and she does too, and both of your feelings are valid. Not everything works out, and it may be sad and tough in the beginning, but with time it will get better. It takes time, but moving on is your only option.
bokchoi
September 3rd, 2016 1:44pm
are you 100% sure she is straight? if she is then you're going to have to distract yourself from her before you get in deeper. I know that the feeling of being in love is wonderful, but if you don't get out quick, the heartbreak will be horrible. good luck.
Phillestertheangel
September 9th, 2016 11:03pm
I'm pretty sure almost every person goes through this- I am. Getting over your straight best friend is going to be hard. What I do is just think of them as you would any other friend. That's what I do, I think it's easier for some people to point out all of their flaws that you dislike to them. (But don't say that to their face)you won't get over them fast or easily.
Anonymous
September 10th, 2016 11:55pm
You should tell her. Be honest with her. You never know until you try. Even if she may not feel the same way, then at least you told her. Honesty is key
Anonymous
September 14th, 2016 1:20pm
It really depends on what you want, and how you think your friend would react. Chances are, if she's straight, she probably won't be romantically interested. If you feel like it wouldn't put a strain on your friendship, you can certainly tell her, but be prepared for the backlash. Sometimes, people don't know how to react in that situation. If her friendship means a lot to you, keep that in your priorities. Friendship should come first.
ReggaanCoy
October 1st, 2016 8:47am
I would try to we how she feels about it and have a talk with her about best friends liking best friends but in a way she doesn't feel uncomfortable or know that I'm speaking about her So I would give a scenario about two completely different persons
Anonymous
October 14th, 2016 11:05pm
I feel this on a personal level, my friend. I fell in love with my best friend my first year of college and she is straight. We talked it out and she said she loves me, but in more of a platonic way. Sometimes, even though it may be scary, the best thing to do is talk it out.
Anonymous
February 25th, 2017 8:16pm
Okay. I have been through this same experience as well and I almost lost my best friend, so be cautious. I know you'll hate this advice because i hated it too, but you should try to either stop loving her or conceal it really well. For me, i ended up losing interest when she told me she was straight and i told her i used to love her. She ignored me for three days. I'm just saying, be super duper cautious and don't get heartbroken.
Anonymous
March 9th, 2017 2:23pm
Hmm that's a very tough situation to manoeuvre. My suggestion from personal experience is you can never hide how you truly feel. In fact, there could be a chance they may already be aware. If you are honest at least you are not lying to your self. It is probably one of the toughest things to deal with is your feelings, but the best thing is if you just let them know what's going on. If they are your best friend chances are they love you one way or another so be honest to yourself and to them.
Anonymous
March 19th, 2017 6:16am
You could cautiously question her on her feelings towards girls, and then hint at your feelings towards her. If she doesn't seem interested or finds the idea very unappealing, you might want to keep your feelings hidden so that they don't compromise your friendship.
Anonymous
April 18th, 2017 7:27am
Talk to her about how you feel. It might seem scary but it's the right thing to do. Her response might surprise you and it will be better to get your feelings out in the open so you can both talk about it. Best of luck!!
glisteningJoy77
April 20th, 2017 9:16pm
I know exactly how you feel. It can be very hard to be in love with someone when you know it will never work out. But you have to remember that things will always work out, no matter what! Even if she isn't the one, there are plenty of fish in the sea. Maybe you'll find someone even better!
itsvicky
May 12th, 2017 12:22pm
Consider telling her. If you think she won't mind and it won't harm your friendship, then maybe it is better to confess your feelings for her. It might turn into something good between you two. If you think the chances of it ruining your friendship are more, then do some more thinking. If you believe you can handle your feelings on your own and get over them, you don't have to tell her anything. If you can't, well it's up to you what you do next. Try to do what is best for you. If you cherish the friendship too much, it's probably better for you to try and keep it the way it is, if you think your friend will mind you liking her. Stay safe, stay positive and take care of yourself!
ModicumACattus
May 24th, 2017 12:48am
This is a tough one. At the end of the day, you cannot force a sexuality or feelings onto another. Your friend may not love you back, so one solution would be to communicate your feelings and feel comfortable with the friendship again.
Anonymous
July 9th, 2017 3:26am
You can either leave those feelings to yourself or just tell her how you feel. If she's really your friend she'll understand and still be friends with you. So if it's really bothering you just tell her.
Anonymous
September 3rd, 2017 8:03am
It's best to have a discussion with your friend about this. After all, she is your BEST friend, so anything you say to them, know that however they react will determine if you really want them in your life!
Anonymous
September 15th, 2017 3:25pm
Hello, I understand what you are going through. Being in love with someone who does not love you back is difficult. May I suggest you tell her how you feel? Maybe she feels the same way about you, it's better to tell the truth, than to let it always stay on your mind.
tinysnow
November 15th, 2017 9:24pm
There are a few ways to go about it - you can try taking a small break from your best friend, you can be honest with her, or you can ignore the feelings in hopes they go away. I recommend one of the first two, but be sure to consider her feelings before doing either.
MayMorgan
November 18th, 2017 12:27am
Love is really tough, and sometimes the best thing to do is confess the feelings even if you don’t think you’ll get the answer you want in return. Being honest with friends is always best, and it can lift a weight of keeping the secret if there is any.
Missingperiodsandcommas
November 19th, 2017 7:48am
Ah, the dreaded forbidden fruit situation. Many of us in the LBGTQ+ community at one point or another have likely gone through the same situation and it can be very confusing. I find honesty to be the best policy in this case. Establish with yourself the goal you have in mind; are you happy just loving from afar? Or will your love affect your friendship because you want more? Once you’ve figured out what you personally want then it’s time to explain the feelings you’re having with your best friend. Remind them the value you place on your friendship and that just because you’re having these feelings this doesn’t change. You can discuss it and both move forward from their. However you should never attempt to force your sexuality on anyone else. Always be respectful of others boundaries.
Cryptidchild
November 22nd, 2017 8:02pm
That depends on circumstances but if you're 100% sure that s/he's straight then you must move on. I know it's easier said than done but you can't really change anyone's sexuality. Not if they are certain of it.