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Is staying in the closet forever a bad thing?

62 Answers
Last Updated: 12/25/2020 at 9:41am
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Top Rated Answers
Anonymous
February 3rd, 2020 8:12pm
When, to whom and if you want to talk about your sexual orientation is only your choice! Coming out is a big step and takes a lot of courage. So you should only do it if you feel comfortable. Coming out does also not necessarily mean telling the whole world at once. You can take small steps. Talking to a good friend or trusted person first to have some backhold is helpful. It is not easy but very relieving and you will find a lot of new friends and allies!
Anonymous
February 3rd, 2020 4:04am
Hi. Only you can decide what is right for you. However, as someone who lived in the closet for a very long time, I don't recommend it. For me personally, it was quite toxic and negatively effected every area of my life. That said, I think it is important to come out at a pace that is comfortable for you. Everyone is different. At times there can also be issues of personal safety such as being dependent on an unaccepting parent in which case staying in the closet for awhile might be the best plan. What made a difference for me in coming out was finding a network of support. It is very hard to come out in an entirely inhospitable and hostile environment, and finding new friends and a community that embraced me was essential.
lolahlove
January 14th, 2020 4:16pm
We deserve to be happy all of us. If staying in the closet results in you being untrue to yourself, unable to express yourself and be the person you want to be then this should be spoken about. You are loved, appreciated, welcome and important and have every right to be the person you wish to be. The best thing for anyone is to be true to themselves... This can cause someone to live a life of anxiety and this does come down to not accepting yourself, or the fear of other people not accepting you. It is no ones decision or right to tell you how to live your own individual life. We equally have a right for happiness
HelperBee
June 17th, 2015 10:14am
Staying in the closet isn't necessarily a BAD thing, but i can't assume it's healthy. Its important, as humans to express ourselves, and if you don't think you have enough of a support system to come out, you may be living in an unhealthy or toxic environment. Its healthy to come out.
Anonymous
July 20th, 2015 1:50am
Well, imagine if you were straight and married to a person of the opposite sex, but for some reason you couldn't mention it to anyone, or be seen with them, or admit that your kids were both of your kids. It would get pretty stressful, wouldn't it?
Achakra
February 27th, 2018 4:42am
It really depends on your situation. It's possible that you might find that it's unhealthy for you and regret not coming out sooner, but it's also possible that you will endanger your life by coming out. So there's really no one answer to this, except that I'm really sorry if your situation is so dangerous that you have to stay in the closet forever because in my experience it is very hard for people to hide themself, or at least a part of themself, all their life. If it's not important to you, more power to you, because you then can decide what's best for you without that influencing your decision. That's just my opinion.
Anonymous
January 19th, 2016 6:44pm
It is not recommended. Being closeted can be stressful, self defeating and leaving you unfulfilled. If you are not true to yourself, you are not yourself. If you feel being closeted is right, then it is what is right for you at this time in your life. Things will fall in place once the time calls for it. Until then everyday write down positive affirmations of yourself to start building up self confidence, and keeping yourself highly positive.
Anonymous
November 10th, 2015 4:02pm
Yes, because you're not being true to yourself. Being in the closet means trapping your love and what you are. Coming out is difficult, but definitely necessary. Good luck
shadowgryphon
March 15th, 2016 3:07am
No, just be who you are. Dress how you want to dress. However, if you stay closeted, you may miss the love of your life. (No gay-dar in some folks!)
phantahna
April 12th, 2016 4:52am
Not neccesarily a bad thing, but can stop you from living your life to the fullest and prevent you from being yourself. If you have at least one person in your life who will accept you, you should go for it and be you!
Greatlistener87
April 18th, 2016 7:42am
I have to say Yes its a bad thing, because u will never get a chance to experience a lot of things around u. You will only know what is in the closet that you are in and if ever situation arises that you will have to step out you will not be able to make it.
Anonymous
December 8th, 2015 1:46pm
No , its maybe for you own safety and stuff like that which is really important . Being single isn't the end of the world
thoughtfulWings63
January 11th, 2016 11:51pm
Showing who you truly are to the world is a beautiful thing to share. Be who you are. When you open up the doors to your new life, you will meet some spectacular people. While you are on this journey, you may hit some bumps in the road, some bigger than others but that is what life is! Life is a challenge, but it is what you make of it. Be who you are, never question yourself because of another's words.
WildflowerHeather
April 14th, 2020 1:25pm
It depends on the situation. If it is not safe to come out, such as if you are afraid your parents would kick you out or mistreat you, it is definitely better to stay cloistered, at least until you can get your own safe place to live. If it is for religious reasons, it’s ok to come out, just be careful who you come out to. If it’s safe for you to come out, I highly recommend it because it takes so much stress off of you. If your situation is not the best, I still recommend finding a trustworthy close friend to tell. However, if you simply aren’t ready to tell or don’t want to come out, that’s perfectly okay! It’s all up to you.
jadespace
February 1st, 2016 3:17am
It's not my place to say bad or good but why would you want to be unhappy being someone you aren't? Coming out grants you the freedom to be yourself just like everyone else outside of the closet. Come out and join us! Remember for every 1 hater there are 1000 supporters!
Rivershade
December 24th, 2019 9:08am
It really depends on the situation of the individual. Every person has different needs and sometimes they may feel perfectly content and satisfied with the way they currently live 'in the closet'. There is nothing wrong or shameful in keeping private things private. Not everyone is comfortable sharing aspects of their sex lives or love lives with others - and that is okay. Putting pressure on someone else for our own personal beliefs or customs is not supportive or loving to them. Trying to understand and being open to another person's feelings is always the better option. Never should we disregard or disrespect another human being's right to choose for themselves - even if we disagree with that choice - unless that choice will physically put someone else in mortal danger.
Anonymous
August 19th, 2019 12:17am
I believe if a person is being true to themselves and living their best life it does not matter if they are in or out of the closet. Always do what is best for you and your path in life. The only opinion that counts is your own. Listening to what others have to say is a great way to help form the best decision with your own final thoughts. It is only yourself who can truly know what is best for you. If that is coming out of the closet then open that door. If it is staying in and locking that door keep the key close. Always do you and what is right for you only!
MidnightRaven999
August 7th, 2018 6:21pm
Not at all, if certain things like the country you live in, or you fearing others judgement, is preventing you from coming out, then thats alright! There's nothing wrong with staying closeted forever, its a personal choice, whether to come out or not, and if you're most comfortable not coming out, then there's nothing wrong with that.
TheLadyElle
July 30th, 2018 1:18am
Choosing to come out of the closet is just that, a choice, and an extremely personal one. Choosing to stay closeted is a perfectly valid option in many situations and many times can be safer than coming out, especially in an unsupportive environment. Tldr: no! You're allowed to stay closeted for as long as you want
Anonymous
April 26th, 2016 11:06pm
It can be bad because you'll be worrying about people finding out also it can make you feel depressed keeping it in but it's upto you if you decide to decide to stay in the closet or not.
ZiggyStardust44
April 23rd, 2016 9:12am
It's only a bad thing health-wise. It's nit healthy to bottle up and hide your identity... But if you're in a situation or area where its dangerous to be open about these things then you shouldn't have to come out. I just hope some time in the future you'll be in a safe environment and you can express yourself. 👍
FromDrewWithLove
February 26th, 2018 5:04am
Not usually. If you're being forced to stay in the closet, that's a whole other issue. But if it's just your personal preference to stay in the closet, that's completely fine. Coming out can be a personal thing; you don't have to come out if you don't want to. That doesn't make you any less valid. It's all about comfort, and if you don't feel comfortable with coming out, then that's totally okay.
Anonymous
February 13th, 2018 5:22am
Whether or not you come out is entirely your choice. There is no right or wrong way to be LGBTQ+, and only you can decide if staying in the closet or coming out is the right decision for you.
Mojitomaverick1976
January 25th, 2018 6:04pm
It all depends on where you are in your life and the environment you're in. If you feel like coming out will jeopardize things in life you enjoy and have worked hard to get, then don't come out. If you feel like your soul is super tortured and you need to come out then do it. Nobody should pressure you in coming out or staying in. Do what is best for your life and do it on your own terms.
softstrawberry
January 15th, 2018 3:06am
you don't have to come out until you're ready! if you never want to come out, then no worries!
lovingwriter1892
November 9th, 2017 3:59am
DON’T LET OTHERS MAKE YOU FEEL PRESSURED TO COME OUT! Take things at your own pace!
Anonymous
July 11th, 2017 5:49am
I feel like if you stay in the closet your whole life, you won't truly be happy. You'll have to hide this huge part of yourself from everyone and that's probably not going to be great for you.
Peter
December 27th, 2016 7:15pm
It can be really hard to come out of the closet. Its not something you should feel rushed into doing. But, you have to be happy with your yourself, and be true to yourself. Coming out is something you can do in your own time, but remember to be happy, embracing who you are!
daniellekay
November 21st, 2016 5:40am
Not at all. You should not come out of the closet if you aren't comfortable with the idea. Do it on your own pace. Straight people don't "come out of the closet" for being straight. Just be yourself. There's nothing in the world that you "have" to do.
Anonymous
November 7th, 2016 4:31pm
Depends on what type of person you are. If you are a person who loves to share things, then yes it is, but if you like to keep things personal, then staying closeted might not be a bad thing!