So I think and feel that I'm bisexual but I don't want to label myself as bi because I'm only 17 and haven't really been in love yet, what should I do? Do I come out to/tell others if I'm not sure?

15 Answers
Last Updated: 09/24/2018 at 6:00am
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Top Rated Answers
Anonymous
June 26th, 2017 8:32pm
Ultimately, this is your decision. Whatever you choose to do should be your choice. If you aren't comfortable telling other people this then you don't have to. Likewise if you feel the need to tell others then that is up to you. Either way, please know that it is okay to be confused on your sexuality. It is something that you learn over time and there is nothing wrong with being confused about it.
bookwormfeminist
June 26th, 2017 2:20am
I think you should just take your sexuality slowly. It's something you will get to experience and grow with for the rest of your life. Instead, feel empowered you have this self-awareness that you are young and have some idea of who you are and might be. It is exciting and scary when you learn about yourself and your identity. I would take your time with this and not rush into anything. If you meet someone of the same gender as yourself and like them and it goes well, then great! if you like someone of the opposite gender, that is fine, too. You are young and are in no rush to make any final decisions about how you want to handle your sexuality. Enjoy the process of finding out who you are and best of luck!
Miajo
June 28th, 2017 10:10am
I think your sexual identity has all to do with yourself. Nobody's business. I'd say first live your life and calmly someday you will know what your's is. Then it's again nobody's business. But if you think that for some reason you want to say it (let's say that will make your life easier, or you don't feel alright to keep it inside) then go for it. But let it mature inside of you. Make it a personal matter first (because it is), later find your reasons of if you want to come up or not. Don't be in a hurry, everything will unfold on time.
FromDrewWithLove
January 30th, 2018 7:22pm
If you don't want to label yourself yet, that's totally fine! You don't have to force a label on yourself. As for the falling in love part, usually you can tell by who you crush on (I haven't completely been in love yet, in the sense the love is mutual, but I choose to label myself anyway). It may help if you come out as not straight, if you want to come out. Gives you a little room to breathe, if that makes sense. But honestly, it's up to you who you tell and who you don't tell. Go at your own pace; you are not required to come out to everyone if you don't want to.
Anonymous
July 24th, 2017 11:36am
If you don't want to label yourself if you're not ready, you absolutely don't have to. Labels are not important, you don't NEED one. However, if you feel you WANT a label, and feel you're bi, you can go ahead and label yourself as that, and tell people, if you want. If you find out in the future that something is different, simply tell people that things changed. (Also, you don't have to fall in love to know your sexuality! I've known I was a lesbian since I was 6, even though I didn't have a word for it then. Sometimes, you just KNOW those things.)
piercetheaiden
August 15th, 2017 1:23am
This is all up to you if you feel as if you are bisexual you can label yourself as bisexual or if you feel that you do not want to label yourself, that is okay too. Also, come out when you feel that you are in a safe space also, come out when you are ready and feel 100% comfortable.
Anonymous
September 9th, 2017 11:33am
Labels are cool, as long as the person feels very comfortable using them (so that the label feels right and complements them, not defines them). It is up to you, after all. But as you're very young, you might want to think it over, whether you're comfortable labelling yourself or not. Some people see sexuality as something continuous, some people don't. Some people like to come out and/or be labelled, some don't have the urge to do that. I'd say, give yourself time and if you want to confide in someone, be sure the person is decent and trustworthy. Best of luck!
Aayla
November 14th, 2017 11:13pm
Sexual orientation is simply what you feel you are. If you feel attracted to both men and women and you feel bisexual, that's what you are, you don't need to fall in love to prove that to yourself or to others. But if you don't feel comfortable in labeling yourself, don't! You're not obliged to. You will only do it and eventually come out with others if and when it will make you feel comfortable.
Anonymous
November 16th, 2017 9:52am
Labelling yourself is a choice and not a necessity. If you feel like you need more time to give a name to how you feel, you are allowed to do that. Ultimately, it is your choice and yours alone. It's not necessary to fall in love to know which gender you like. Once you are sure about yourself, you can choose a person/people that you can trust and tell them. Coming out or not is a choice as well. You don't "need to" or "have to" tell anyone unless you are comfortable doing so. Your safety comes first. Good luck!
BettyLaw
November 27th, 2017 8:06am
It all depends on yourself, If you are not sure, you don't need to tell anyone. Love is not about age and gender.
softstrawberry
January 15th, 2018 3:05am
don't come out until you're ready! if you're unsure of your sexuality, then wait until you're comfortable labeling yourself, and don't come out until you feel as though you're ready.
PuckisaDuck
May 29th, 2018 11:55pm
You can always tell them exactly what you feel: that you’re -probably- bisexual. You can also choose to only bring it up when the subject is brought up and/or when you’re asked about it.
Anonymous
June 19th, 2018 3:19am
Your sexual preferences are entirely your own. It is not something that you need to inform persons of. Take the time to truly understand what you identify with and when you are confident of that, if you feel led to do so share it but there is no rush
fancySound39
July 16th, 2018 4:15pm
If you feel a connection and both emotional attracted to them and sexually attracted to both men and women then for sure. But if you feel more confident trying out new things. With the gender you have not yet. Then you could always try it out. Then come out when you are ready.
annielovesyou3
September 24th, 2018 6:00am
I understand. It can be difficult figuring out what you believe your sexuality is. I promise, with a little help, you’ll figure out the answer. If you think you’re bi, there is no reason for you to have to go out and tell everyone. you don’t need to tell a single soul until you think it’s right. like i said before, it can be difficult deciding on the first place. you really don’t have to worry about it. i’m sure if you did tell people they would 109% accept you for who you are. I hope you figure out your path.