What's the best way to come out of the closet to your parents?
Last Updated: 08/27/2019 at 12:08am
Courtney Cline, MS in Psychology and MS in criminal Justice
I have 15 years exeperience in working with clients suffering from depression and substance abuse. I have worked with children and adults and believe in a holistic view.
Top Rated Answers
If you are afraid that your parents will throw you out of the house, disown you, cut you off financially or harm you in any other way, it may not be the best time to come out. It's OK to wait. If you are not dependent on them anymore, but are afraid of a face-to-face confrontation, it may be a good idea to tell them on the phone or send them a letter. The important thing is, just do it. You might be surprised by how well they take it! If they don't take it well, remember, once you're an adult, your presence in their lives is YOUR CHOICE, and if they don't accept who you are, you don't have to be a part of their lives.
The way I came out was I invited my girlfriend to go to the movies with my family and they saw us kissing. Not the best way I'll admit. Their response was a little embarassing!
The best way is to sit them down and tell them the truth. Explain to them why you made that choice and how it makes u feel.
This all depends on your parents, you will know them better than us. However a good way is to write a letter, saying how you feel, your concerns, be honest and true and put it somewhere either your mother or father will find it (you can decide who). Then go from there. Another way could be to record a video and allow them to watch it, or to go out for a coffee somewhere and talk about it then. I wish you the best of luck with this, it is a big, and brave step, and i am proud of you!
Certainly not by checking the "bisexual" box when you are at the doctor and then showing it to your mom. Honestly it was hard for me to come out. My mom saw homosexuality as a "defect," so it was tough having to explain to her that I was both who I am but normal. We are still working through it.
Be honest with them. They'd want to know the truth. You can flat out tell them, or do it in a more creative way. Maybe bake a cake showing a little person walking out of a closet saying "Surprise!"
I sat down and talked to my mother, I explained what the orientation 'pansexual' meant, and then SHE asked ME if I was pansexual. I was so releaved. I had told some people before just to make it easier. Once I had told one person, it became easier to accept and to tell others. That first person could be anyone. I choose a stranger from summercamp.
That, in my opinion, is entirely up to you. I haven't come out to mine yet, but be sure you will be in a safe environment and say it how you think they will take it best. I know the Trevor Project and PFLAG and HRC have some resources on coming out, and I was just reading a book called "Is It a Choice?" which might be helpful for them. Lots of luck!
Prepare them for it. Don't just bombard them with the news. Make little comments here and there, leave them hints, and, when you feel you're ready, tell them.
It always depends on who your parents are. If your parents are accepting, just sit down with them and tell them. If you fear your parents are less accepting, wait till you are eighteen and your parents have no power over you.
Coming out of the closet to your parents can be challenging. Remember that your sexuality is YOUR live and YOUR choices. Therefore, no one has nothing to do with this. Not ven your parents. However, if you fel the urge to disclose to them, just do it. Bur NO EXPECTATIONS ! You cannot control their reaction and you got to be prepared for not so positive ones. But if they love you, they will eventually understand. It might take time. but, hey...you had your own time to accept yourself , too, right? So, allow them to have their own time , too.
When I came out it was hard but you should take your time, it might be a shock for them at first but don't worry they will come around if they love you, if not then you should still feel good that you shared it.
First you should find out where they stand on LGBTQ. If they are for it then just have a sit down with them and answer all their questions. If they are not for it then make sure to have someone with you and make sure to have a back up plan if things go badly.
When you feel comfortable, be open with them. Explain how you are feeling and any concerns you might have had about telling them.
The first thing I did was ask my parents what their views on queer people was. They turned out very accepting so talking to them was easy. But some of my closest friends weren't so lucky. If you feel your parents aren't as accepting trying a simple letter might work...
The best you can really do is just tell them that you love them and explain your choices to them.
You should speak to them and be straightforward with what you want to say. They are your parents so they should be supportive and respectful towards who you are.
Give yourself time! Lots of it. Be patient with yourself because coming out is a process. Sit them down, have a one on one conversation and make sure you choose your words wisely
Just be you. Ask to talk and sit down with them. Tell them what you identify as, and know no matter their reaction, you are supported and accepted by others.
The best way to come out to parents is to (if you can) be direct with them. Being clear and educating them is the best way for them to be able to understand and accept it. Another way which is less intimidating is to write them a letter, sometimes it’s easier to confidently put across how you feel through writing something rather than trying to speak to them. Remember, only come out of the closet if you feel you are safe and will not be at any risk because of it.
Like many things of this nature, it depends. If they are conservative or otherwise homophobic, you might want to wait until you're independent of them. On the other hand, if they seem to be accepting, you might just want to bring it up in a conversation. Start with the topic of it.
The best way to come out of the closet to your parents, if you are speaking in literal terms, is to become more comfortable and closer to them. If you're speaking figuratively, the same goes. Try telling a close friend, as this will help major.
Carefully is the best. Make sure you have a safe environment for if anything goes wrong. You can talk to your parents and text the waters about celebs or friends. You could write them a letter or just talk to them about it. If you feel like they are going to take it bad you may need to go stay at a friends for a night while they think about it. Some parents are great but some are bad when it comes to LGBT+ stuff
The best way is your way, you can stand letter or speak, you can also make a video every way is a good way to do your coming out. Even if it's hard.
You can express your feelings as openly as you can, tell them what it means to be who you are, how you realized you are LGBT, and reassure them that nothing changes in who you are as a person, you're still you though this part of your identity is different than they thought. Make sure they know you want to share it with them because they are important to you, and maybe tell them that you believe in your relationship and you're sure they know that nothing changes in the person you are. You can also encourage them to ask you any questions they have about it. Be patient, it's possible that they'll need more time to come to terms with it, but what truly matters is that they give you a chance to be listened and understood: that's a signal that they're willing to give you a chance. Ultimately, those who really love and care for you will accept you for who you are and they'll just want you to be happy, no prejudice can ruin real love! If you're feeling very uncomfortable, you can even consider writing a coming out letter.
I do not believe there is a “better” or “worse” way to come out to parents, I think it depends on the person and what they happen to be comfortable with. I know for me I came out when I started to date a girl and I game out by telling them about my girlfriend. But I know other people who discovered that they weren’t straight and just came out in the moment. Some make big deals, other very nonchalant. I think it’s all up to what you feel comfortable with personally and what feels right. Just as sexuality fluctuates, I feel like the way we go about it can fluctuate too.
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