When should I come out of the closet?

45 Answers
Last Updated: 08/26/2019 at 11:37pm
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United States
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Clinical Social Work/Therapist

I believe that problems are separate from the person having them and that our own stories and how we look at our own stories directly influences how we perceive those problems

Top Rated Answers
Anonymous
April 10th, 2015 12:20am
When you feel that you are safe, and that you will be safe telling. It is not best to come out when there is risk, but drop small ideas on sexualities and genders and what-not to see how the ones you are asking react.
Gracey
November 8th, 2014 3:20pm
Whenever you feel comfortable enough to do so, it can be a scary thought but it is okay but take your time.
Kel4055
November 12th, 2014 6:51am
When you are finished getting dressed. No I am joking, if you feel comfortable revealing your sexuality with your family members or if you are just plain tired of hiding it. Either way, you pick when you're ready and maybe you might never be.
DapperRainbow
May 23rd, 2016 10:48am
I love this question. You should come out of the closet when you are dressed to be who you are. Come out on your own time. When you are comfortable. When you are confident. When you are ready. Coming out isn't necessary at any moment in time. Not until you feel like you want to. You can come out tomorrow or you can come out in 20 years. The time to come out is different for everyone and you'll know in your heart when the time is right because you'll find yourself inclined to scream it out at the top of your lungs.
Anonymous
November 9th, 2014 10:18pm
To be honest, when you come out of the closet should depend on you. You shouldn't come out until you feel comfortable with who you are and until you're sure you're ready to come out of the closet.
melodyowl130
April 3rd, 2015 4:05pm
You should judge your environment first. If it is safe to do so, then go right on ahead. If you ever have any doubts with anything, it is best not to come out until a later date.
Waterbear
July 27th, 2015 6:10pm
When it's physically, emotionally and financially safe for you. And when you feel ready. Don't let anyone pressure you to come out before you're ready, because they may not understand that there might be worse consequences for others than for themselves. However, the longer you wait, the greater the chances are that your family will find out on their own, which takes away your chance to control the setting and can leave you vulnerable to accusations of dishonesty. Most families suspect ahead of time and some family members will do some quiet snooping while others prefer to ignore the possibility.
poeticjewel95
November 6th, 2014 7:29pm
Whenever you are ready and prepared to. You have to be comfortable enough to be able to fully confess and tell what and who you truly are.
DylanPorter31
July 16th, 2018 12:59pm
Whenever you want to. It’ll be hard and there really is no perfect time to do it. Never come out though if there is a chance of danger presented to you
Scrivener - Expert in LGBTQ+
November 15th, 2014 3:47am
When you're ready. There's never a single thing that makes you ready. It's always taking a leap, and you have to be ready for the results, whatever they will be. It's one of the scariest things that I've ever done, and yet, I don't regret it for a second.
softWingedgiraffe33
November 5th, 2014 11:05pm
Whenever you feel ready. It's entirely up to you. I'm slowly coming out at the moment and you have to base it on how you feel so that you don't get rushed. Feel free to message me if anyone is struggling with this ☺.
Anonymous
November 6th, 2014 1:18am
When you feel ready. Nobody knows your times more than you. And for that I mean that you should do it only if you feel comfortable about it. And the most important thing is: not putting pressure on it.
toristatersla
November 7th, 2014 10:38am
you should come out of the closet when you feel the most comfortable letting the people around you know about your sexuality
Gardeviola
November 7th, 2014 3:34pm
It depends. If you live in a conservative area, your family, friends, or community in general have shown homophobic tendencies, you may want to wait, especially if you live in a small town where news travels quickly. But, if you feel you will be accepted by the people that matter, go ahead. You might not want to come out to the whole world at the moment, but find someone you can trust to tell,
Caotn97
November 9th, 2014 4:58am
When you are ready to. It's not something you should force upon yourself but let it happen when it does.
VDellW12
November 11th, 2014 1:54am
When you feel is a right time, only you can decide when. But just know people love and accept you just the way you are!
Anonymous
November 16th, 2014 11:09pm
whenever you are comfortable to. i actually am still in the closet about my sexuality and that is okay. you need to make sure you are ready and comfortable to. do whatever is best for you!
SophieTheLime79
November 18th, 2014 12:48am
That is very simple - when ever you feel ready. That is not something you can rush, you should come out whenever you feel the time is right. I wish you the best of luck x
Anonymous
April 29th, 2015 6:00am
Whenever you feel the time is right. It is easier to come out to one person at a time. Start with your closest friend, someone that you can tell anything to and you know will support you. Talk to them about ways to come out to other people. Come out to your parents and ask them for help on how to tell other friends or family members also.
OQuinn
April 30th, 2015 1:47pm
When you're ready and realise that you don't need their permission or denial but their acceptance, that's when.
PhoenixMozza
May 8th, 2015 12:49pm
when you feel ready and comfortable, and only you can know when that is :)
NYCInspired
July 7th, 2015 4:35am
Whenever you are ready. There is nothing more liberating than knowing that you can be who you want to be. Don't be afraid to tell anyone, because they will love you just the way you are. You have to give people time to embrace it, it's not an easy subject to bring up or to accept. Be yourself, that's what you're good at.
Dan528
August 4th, 2015 11:27pm
Nobody can answer this question but you. The choice to come out is yours, and yours alone. There is never a perfect time for this.
HamRadio4Life
August 10th, 2015 10:20pm
Ask yourself if you feel comfortable and strong enough to face any reaction you may receive. You are who you are! No one can change that, nor should they try. Your family will love you no matter what and your friends will love you no matter what. Just because you are gay/lesbian doesn't change you as a person. Your sexuality does not define you in the slightest!
Anonymous
August 11th, 2015 10:59pm
This is such a difficult question to answer. But I feel as if I should come out when I am 100% sure that it's the way I feel.
blissfulRainfall14
August 31st, 2015 9:31pm
Come out the closet when you are most comfortable , never rush it. The right time to come out will come! :)
Morpheus
September 26th, 2015 6:33pm
Whenever you feel the time is right. Make sure you are comfortable with it before you allow everyone to know about it. You want to be sure that you are very confident and comfortable before coming out about it.
Anonymous
November 10th, 2015 4:24am
when you are ready. you shouldn't feel pressured to do anything you don't want to and only you get to decide
CastleIrwell
November 11th, 2015 8:25pm
You should come out of the closet when you are ready for people to know. You don't have to tell everyone at once. It takes some people years to tell everyone. Coming out to a good friend, family member, or trusted person first can help you get a start on telling others, but it does not have to be right away.
supportiveCupcake42
December 14th, 2015 2:36pm
This is the infamous question I'm so passionate about. This step in your life will happen when you decide you want it to. Don't feel rushed in having to come out, take your time, feel around until you know that you are sure this is how you feel. Wait until the stress and tension ease away in the house. Make sure you have a group of friends that support you and have your back. No matter how ready you are, you will be nervous. Make sure you stay cool, calm, and collected so your relatives can take in the news because it will be huge!