Why am I gay?

110 Answers
Last Updated: 08/12/2019 at 10:53am
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Lauren Gerardi, PhD

Psychologist

I am a licensed clinical psychologist who works with individuals of all ages, including children, teens, and adults.

Top Rated Answers
Anonymous
March 10th, 2015 4:00am
I have a lot of feelings about other girls. Not necessarily sexy feelings, but I feel much more romantically attracted to them.
Anonymous
June 8th, 2015 4:10am
You're gay because that's the way you born. That's who you are, there is no other answer. You're not sick nor a demon is inside you.
Anonymous
May 13th, 2016 11:54am
There's no real reason. It sounds like you're feeling guilt about it. Don't. It's perfectly okay to like the same sex.
Keeplookinup
May 25th, 2016 11:54pm
There isn't really an answer to that. It more got to do with how you were born. Its a prefrence you can't control.
blue09
June 1st, 2016 9:04pm
There is nothing, listen to me, NOTHING wrong with being gay. Some people like fish, other like meat, and other like both. You are a fish who loves fish as well and there is absolutely nothing wrong with you. You are gay because you are human and unique. You are gay because you have feelings and a mind that tells you what matches your personallity better. You are gay because you are yourself. Being gay, straight, trans, whatever, is beautiful. You are beautiful
MKDavis
June 15th, 2016 3:30pm
Because it is natural and is simply the way you were born. It is normal and people these days are more accepting than ever to homosexuals, if that is what you are concerned about.
PeacefulFlute74
June 23rd, 2016 2:50pm
You are gay because you were born that way. The same reason people are straight. They were born that way.
kindheartedSky78
April 13th, 2015 11:34am
This is a very difficult question you are asking but I can tell that it bothers you to want some answers. Everyone is different. I am wondering if you could answer the question? Why is it you feel that you are gay?
pedicator
May 10th, 2015 4:41pm
It's important to remember that no matter what you might hear, or what other people might tell you, a person never chooses to be gay, or straight, or bisexual, or anything else. These are things which are determined before we are born and can't be controlled. Realising you might be LGBTQIA is a scary time, but there are people out there who love you just the way you are and want you to love yourself too. I might not be able to tell you why you're gay, but I can tell you that it's nothing to be ashamed of and that I love you just for being you.
theoceansblue
June 22nd, 2015 9:42pm
Your gay because that's just who you are. There's absolutely nothing wrong with someone's sexuality. You were born gay, and that's that.
Lior
June 26th, 2015 12:50pm
Some would say you are born gay, some would say it's a environmental effect. Either way, you are fabulous as you are, and there's nothing wrong with being gay. A lot of researchers try to find the answer to this question. "Why some people are gay?", there many assumptions, non has been fully proven yet.
Itsacrazylifewelive
July 11th, 2015 9:32pm
Because it's just what you are. You were born this way baby! :)
Probius
November 2nd, 2015 3:53pm
You are gay because you were born this way. We are all born with a sexual orientation. Some are born straight, and some are born gay. Neither of these orientations is any better or any worse than the other.
Islah
December 21st, 2015 2:51am
Well, there isn't any real answer, but I'm gay too, and I think it has to do with personalities and who we feel connected with. Being gay isn't a bad thing, it's just who you are. You should embrace it and be proud of it. :) Best of luck!
Reddy
February 8th, 2016 11:49am
The same reason someone who is straight happens to be straight. You're part of the beautiful diverse tapestry of life. Just Be who you are meant to Be.
PaperSparrow
February 16th, 2016 2:21am
It's not about what I chose I want to be, it is and always has been about loving the person with all I have, no matter what sex they are.
ashbradbury42
February 22nd, 2016 7:07am
You were born that way. And it's totally fine. If you are having trouble accepting yourself, you'll get there eventually.
Anonymous
March 18th, 2016 9:20pm
Your gay/lesbian cause your attracted to someone the same gender and you where born that way your not evil your not crazy your just gay/lesbian and that's normal.
cheerfulchatter
March 30th, 2016 6:02am
Why do you like poetry? Why was green your favorite color when you were 4? It's a part of you that makes you unique and is important to you as a person.
Miranda1999
March 30th, 2016 5:27pm
I don't think there is a reason your gay, and i don't think there should need to be. Being gay isn't a bad thing, and it should be just as accepted and normal as a person being straight, because Gay is OK. :)
Anonymous
March 31st, 2016 2:43am
As I like men and I not like women and I think it right for me to be gay and but then I cam out gay to my dad he use to hit me and try stop stop me being gay by have sexy with girls
TheLoreWriter
March 31st, 2016 12:18pm
It's a bit of a loaded question, but the simplest way that I can see it is that you're gay because you are. Sexuality isn't something that you can control, it can be fluid, and it's not a choice. Trying to determine why your sexuality is what it is can be a headache, and honestly, does it matter that much? You can choose to accept it or go against it, but what matters in the end is that you are happy
dancingPillow85 - Expert in LGBTQ+
March 31st, 2016 11:30pm
Because you are awesome. I am gay too. we can high five. These things happen. People are born like this.
Frida82
April 3rd, 2016 5:56am
There is no specific reason why you or anybody is gay. And there doesn't need to be. Point is, you are who you are and you shouldn't change that!
goodlistener8
April 3rd, 2016 6:22pm
Why am I straight? (I'm not actually just an example) has anyone who's straight asked themselves this question? I don't think so, because we're lead to believe that straight is the way, it's the God's way, it's the society's ways and it's the best way! That's why when we start to question our sexuality and question whether we might not be straight, whether we might be gay, it conflicts us, scares us and confuses us because we have been told from the start that it's man and woman, that you're simply straight or there's something seriously wrong with you. It's decided for us to be straight from the moment we are born. So when you realize that everything you've been told you are is not you. You ask yourself, what's wrong with me? Nothing is wrong with you. Just because majority of the human race is straight doesn't mean if you're not in the majority that something is wrong with you or you should be ashamed of yourself. Or you should ask yourself but why not? You're just different. And different is good. Straight (not all of them) people have made gay people feel like they are below them or that something is wrong with them from...as long as the start of human race. Like the whites made black people feel they're below them or are born to serve them because of the color of their skin. No! If you're born black, you're born that way, you can't do anything about it. If you're born white you're born that way you can't do anything to change that. You're born gay! It's as simple as that! Now many of us have tried to change but we know...we just know it's really impossible to change who we are and how feel and who we love. It's like changing your whole existence. Which is just not possible! You're gay because you're gay ad that's that!
Greatlistener87
April 8th, 2016 7:07am
Different people have different reason as to how they pick their sexuality. It could be because of past heart breaks to simply genes.
Anonymous
April 9th, 2016 9:27am
Why am I gay? Because being gay means you have love for someone. Being gay means you know yourself well enough to know who you love. Being gay doesn't mean that you are less than someone else. It doesn't mean that you have made the wrong choice. Being gay just means you have been given a different sexual orientation than some others. Neither gay nor straight is superior. It just comes down to who you love. Love is love. No matter if that love is between two men, a man and a woman, or two women. Why am I gay? Because gay is okay.
Nosh
April 10th, 2016 3:19am
I don't think you chose to be a homosexual. It's not wrong to have feelings for someone of the same sex, and sometimes society likes to make you feel like it is. What you feel is the same love that I do, that everyone else does. It's no different, and you shouldn't feel like it is.
Anonymous
April 10th, 2016 6:00am
Being gay isn't a choice it happens at birth, but don't let that bother you, you are you and you can't change that:)
SimplyBeing
April 13th, 2016 8:36am
Why questions are the hardest questions in the human language. To really answer any why question you have to know to what use the person is going to put the answer. If a 5 year old asks why people get sad they may be happy with the answer, "it's just the way we are made." If a 25 year old asks the question, "Why am I gay?" and wants to know how sexuality comes to be it is a different thing than then same 25 year old asking "Why am I gay?" and really meaning "Will I be happy?" I asked the question "Why am I gay?" and "Why me?" often at one point. I really wanted to know if I was going to be okay. I hope you can find an answer in there. Every person deserves to be happy. I wish I could answer the question why for you and have it answer all the questions you have about who you are and if you are loved. I have never met a person who struggled with "why?" that didn't deserve to be loved. We look within ourselves to understand why when sometimes the answer is who is beside us while we are asking.